Nocturnal Emission in the Second Degree

dreams come to him hot;
flesh spasms in the Sandman’s arms.
Abortion, Your Honor?

Every now and then, someone makes an absolutely ridiculous comment about an issue like abortion. In the name of balance (and to keep myself from smacking an idiot in the teeth), I often respond with something as absurd as the statement I’ve just suffered.

Seems fair, right? I mean, Confucius says, “Man who spewths crap shall expecth shite.”

I’m not sure why Confucius is speaking in such filthy and dreadful archaic English. I also fail to understand why most individuals who spew nonsense look so perplexed when a person flings a healthy load of their own twaddle back at them. If they already believe in stupid, why would a bit of moronic be a problem?

These observations came to mind after someone contacted me, asking if I would sign a petition that bans an e-card which suggests that “If abortion is murder, then blowjobs are cannibalism.”  

The invitation came laden with coercive statements—I don’t like anyone trying to push me around; for when we lose our freedom to choose, the loss of Self follows. I like me. So I replied with the haiku at the beginning of the post. You’d think this individual would like it. Seriously; who doesn’t like poetry? And when was the last time someone replied to your email with a flesh-felt haiku? But nope, the person followed up with livid drivel about eternal damnation, fiery pits and something about sodomy—we’ve all heard it, so I won’t insult your gag reflex by sharing sheeped words.

Anyhoo, I’m off to the hospital… again. Let the testing begin… again. *baring teeth and paddling*

A Perplexed Picasso
via

20 comments:

  1. ROTFL...thank goodness for clever haiku skills in the face of lunacy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all need to survive (and stay out of jail) somehow. 😏

      Delete
  2. Sounds like some serious "ass-addling" going on in your head lol :D XXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. I'm quite sure that's one of things that goes on in my head. ❤️

      Delete
  3. It is very difficult for the stupid to recognize themselves. May your testing go swiftly, with minimal owies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That one way glass must be very thick...

      Delete
  4. I quite enjoyed the same-sex imagery of the haiku's male protagonist with his lover, the Sandman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They do look quite happy together, don't they?

      Delete
  5. Oh gosh, one of those bizarre statements about an issue that should be kept between a woman and her body; not coming out of the mouths of immature frat boys. Love and luck for the doctor appointment <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When society gets into your bed... horrible things happen.

      Delete
  6. Outrage is a pleasure. If people understood that. they'd enjoy it more. The card's freakin' funny! I'd type *cough* here, but I wouldn't want people to make assumptions. I can tell you, though, one swallow does not a summer make. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's hysterical, too. Especially the spoon; I mean, when does a spoon comes into play? ;-D

      Delete
  7. Wonder how those people would feel if someone forced them to abort... probably not so good. Then why are they so intent on forcing their values on other people?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's never as simple when it's happening to you...

      Delete
  8. Wait...the person who contacted you was SERIOUS? I thought there was a punch line at the end of this...Sigh. Your life is engorged with interesting people who delight in religious bukkake. Do you ever feel like you need a hot shower in bleach after interacting with these miscreants?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always thought that we, witchy souls, were more creative than anyone in our beliefs. I was wrong. People tend to have pretty strange beliefs, coupled with a deep want to force others to believe the same. Yes, definitely a bleach shower... and a brain cleanser.

      Delete
  9. I don't understand people???
    This year, I have truly learned to Let It Go!!!!
    I hope everything went well at the hospital???
    Hugs;o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People can be extremely ridiculous. Letting go of things that do nothing good for us is the best of decisions. It might not feel pleasant at first, but after a while things make sense.

      Things have been busy at the hospital; tests and tests and more tests...

      Delete