Stagnation in Love

hot July kisses,
untouched heart in September…
love will die by ice.

Note: Stagnation is the scum of the universe. I feel this truth all the way to my bones; and just as deeply, I believe that relationships afflicted by complacency will ultimately rot and die… one bit of being-taken-for-granted at a time.

Last week, a friend and I spent some time discussing relationships, where one of the partners might not have noticed the importance of continuous overt acts of tenderness. The topic has been dancing in my mind… I keep wondering about how assuming, without doing or reassuring, can destroy love. Lazy loving makes for a very sad haiku.

We should never forget to tell and show those we love how and why we love them. And we should do this in ways that make sense to them. Love can’t live on the memory of a first perfect kiss.

Your thoughts, my Wicked Luvs?

Shadow of a Love, by Isaiah Stephens
doesn’t this image pull something raw out of your soul?

for
Björn Rudberg asked for poems that use past, present and future

41 comments:

  1. My wicked, romantic friend, my jaded response is.........Once Upon A Time.....
    xoDebi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fairy tales are a twisted business, which we can change. Honest.

      Delete
  2. Indeed those dark days of icicles will quench the passion

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's particularly sad when the quenching could have been prevented.

      Delete
  3. True of ANY relationship, methinks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Soul must work hard a day and night, no self sedation here... Thanks for reminder x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Relationships are so much in the practice of tending - even that of the relationship with self... thought provoking and great use of all of the tenses, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed! Especially the relationship with self. For how can we be expected to understand anyone if we don't know and love our self?

      Delete
  6. I'm amazed at how succinctly you summed it up in three lines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kerry. I think that the fact that the topic was in my mind helped quite a bit.

      Delete
  7. so much in so few words...wowzers..

    ReplyDelete
  8. The transformation through time is heart-breaking, in your haiku. Well-penned. And it was good to read your note, to know the thoughts behind the written word. :-)
    -HA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is, isn't it? And if we don't pay attention to those changes, the transformation might not be something we like.

      Delete
  9. The long-lived loves are always dancing the dance of compromise and change. Well said!
    http://poetryofthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2014/11/spectrum.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! Knowing this is what Kees us going; accommodating and asking of others what we need.

      Delete
  10. My thought is that that is a uniquely feminine way of thinking about a relationship, as something requiring regular maintenance, like a machine, or a tool. A thing to be serviced as needed, and then discarded when it becomes obsolete.

    I think, for many men, trust and loyalty are more important than affirmation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That makes sense, with me being a female and all. I would expect my partner to love me like I want to be loved; in the same way, he should expect me to give him what his personality and desires ask for. That is compromise, and couples who can't understand will never make it. And that's very sad for everyone involved.

      Loyalty is being faithful to tending one's love. Trust is to know that those we care about understand we'll always take care of them.

      Delete
    2. Magaly Guerrero11/30/2014
      When two people get nothing out of s relationship, leaving is the sensical thing to do. Is not discarding, I think, but giving each other the opportunity of finding happiness elsewhere.

      Delete
  11. As much as I liked the haiku, this is the money shot of the blog post: "We should never forget to tell and show those we love how and why we love them. And we should do this in ways that make sense to them." It has been almost 20 years with my husband and we keep finding small ways to say, "Hey you! I think you're cool!" It's not always about the big romantic gestures (though I do like those). It's about when you are at the sushi bar, and you see there's a run on your sweetie's favorite, grab some for him so he gets a bit. It's holding hands in the car for no reason at all, it's singing a love song when your voice probably would get you on the outtakes of American Idol. It's all the dorky little things that make your partner smile.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I enjoyed your words and LOVE that picture. Maybe today is the day I pull our the ole charcoal and get to work.

    ReplyDelete
  13. yes... agree completely. one hopes to not learn this lesson the hard way.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My thoughts? This is an awesome haiku. I wish I had known this in my 20's (wish my husband had as well.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many things we wish we knew way before we understand how important they are...

      Delete
  15. Lazy love is no good! Love is something that needs to be nurtured and readdressed daily in order for it to continue to be healthy. I believe this strongly. Your love should always be your first (or close to first) priority.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed. Lazy love (especially towards ourselves) sickens and dies after a while...

      Delete
  16. Hi Magaly ~~ I enjoyed this! but I'm not into things dying. Our Katrin, toy poodle, died last night. And now this evening I found out that a friend had died yesterday.
    So for me I would change your last line to
    "Love saves by snuggling"
    ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We do what we must to survive.

      May your Katrin's essence dance forever with the stars.

      Delete
  17. As you know, my own disintegrated marriage is a living example of this. It is sad, but true; a relationship is a plant that needs regular watering with assurances, feeding with touch, and pruning of negative influences. If these gardening tips cant be followed, the plant will die or perhaps one of the gardeners will try to prop up the wilting vestiges for the sake of the other gardener or graft another plant to the existing one...watch the thorns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've both been there. And it doesn't matter how much the plant tries, if there is no tending... things won't go well. And, of course, there is always the possibility of another gardener taking on the work... ♥

      Delete
  18. I agree with everything you have said ;o) That image is WOW!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The image squeezed my heart, too!

      Delete