Squeeze out the Hurts and Let in the Healing

“What would it feel like to be binded?” she asked me.

“Think of a garden hose attached to a running faucet,” I said. “The water pushing through with pressure and purpose, no flower ever going thirsty under its cooling mist… Then someone abruptly ties the end of the hose into a knot.”

My friend hugged herself, and said, “That’s a terrible thing to do to a person.”

I nodded my agreement, and we had a long conversation about undoing binding spells.


Yesterday, that exchange came to mind when a different friend said, “I will never understand how you can be so sad one day and the next day you are back to being your exuberant self as if nothing has happened.” By the way, my friend is Russian and I love what her accent does to the word exuberant.

Come on, my Luvs, say “exuberant” using your best Russian accent. Did you like the sound of it? Was it a fun thing to do? Are you wondering, what in Hades’ fiery balls does the word “exuberant” have to do with binding spells or with going from draining sad to deliriously happy in under 13 hours and 60 seconds?

Well, it has everything to do with it. In my dark, sexy and deliciously wicked mind, all of this—spells, emotions, appreciating the sounds a friend makes with her words, pain, laughter, grief, bliss…— makes part of the whole that keeps me sane, creative, paddling forward with a heartfelt grin on my face… alive.

You see, my Wicked Luvs, just because my friend and I were discussing something that was rather sad, it didn’t mean that I would let my brain and heart be so consumed by a single topic or emotion, that I would miss the wonderfully good things everyday life sprinkles on me… even those things as tiny as a sound that is pleasant to my ear.

I believe that not allowing ourselves to feel, to experience and to work through certain emotions (particularly the negative ones) makes our souls as volatile and useless as a water hose tied in knots. The flowers we are supposed to tend and nourish will die; our clogged insides will be overwhelmed; we will eventually explode or worse, become stagnant. And we all know that stagnation is the scum of the universe.

So how did I feel, experience, and work through the pain and helplessness that drove me nearly mad (for a few hours)? Well, I wrote all the terrible details and put them away to be used in a future story. Then I basked in all the good things I received because of the pain: the assurance that my Piano Man will always be here when I need him, one of my best friends on the phone reminding me that she has my back (and is always willing to share an infinite number of inappropriate jokes that make me giggle), all of your replies and collective “We get it, witchy woman. Roll with the punches. Shake your hips and make it all into a pretty dance; for this, too, shall pass.”

Knowing all these things, my Wicked Luvs, nothing but me can stop me. And you already know the views me, myself and I have on the topic of standing stiff and still like a dead lump.

34 comments:

  1. And that my dear Magaly is why your so amazing; I have never met another soul with your resilience, your strength not only inspires me but it inspires all of your readers and friends.

    This group we have on here is like our own medicine, we give each other what we need to keep going and doing what we do and I think the world could use more of what this group has. :-) <3

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    1. I think we've been doing pretty good at inspiring each other, my dear Ash. ;-)

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    2. Every time I hear people saying that online relationships aren't real, I feel a bit sorry for them...

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  2. You are beautiful my dear! Beautiful!

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    1. And modest. Don't you ever forget my humble modesty. ;-D

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  3. You have superpowers that don't even have names yet!

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    1. And you have the power of heart-warming, my Sharon! ♥

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  4. I use "wordy" English words all the time, and my man refuses to correct me because he thinks it's cute...

    I remember watching 'Everything is Illuminated' and the Russian (actually Ukranian) lead using "re-pause" instead of "sleeping" - it was beautiful.

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    1. I just said "re-pause" three times aloud. Beautiful, indeed! Even in my Spanish accent. ;-D

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    2. Ok, having my mind blown right now. You have a Spanish accent..?
      I remember reading (while I was at Uni studying psychology) that anyone who learned a new language before 13 would not have an accent, but of course that might be wrong.
      I always imagined you with this boisterous, warm - and totally English American - accent :)

      Then again, people used to think I was from Tennessee, so what do you know...

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  5. 3rd try to leave a comment. Using my "smartphone". Right now I am calling it something else.

    Your words feel like they were written for me. You are such a special soul and I feel blessed to be able to visit you. Thank you for posting your words, feelings, thoughts and wisdom for all of us to read. Keep on dancing beautiful! Hugs, Rasz

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    1. My smartphone acts pretty dumb at times, too. LOL!

      I feel blessed to know that we aren't alone. It's not that I want other people hurting, too--that would be monstrous--but knowing that others understand where we are coming from fills the soul with a strange kind of hope. *hugging you right back*

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  6. Replies
    1. And I'm still loving it! Thanks so much! ♥

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  7. I was thinking about something like this- my own version. I am not as positive as you all the time, I can be negative and moody and try to encourage myself. But sometimes the fact that I don't hope for too much and will take the good moments seems to be better than some others I know. Others I know will complain about a boring day when I can see the good small moments- hanging with a friend, even if plans didn't turn out the way we planned, reading a book, hugs.... all these little things are moments of joy to me. I wish others could see it this way. I am more of a worrier than some of these people, I spend so much time wondering what if (and I am working on changing that) yet somehow I also appreciate each moment more. I have been sick too, so maybe that is one of the reasons I worry more, but like you I also find it makes me appreciate the good bits of life more too. So I try to push the worry away adn live!

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    1. And as long as we can see the light in the dark, the darkness in the light, and the need for both... we'll be able to go forward while making the best of things. That's what I believe. ;-)

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  8. Yep... can't stop saying "exuberant" in a Russian accent now!

    My heart aches for what you're going through, but I love that you dance and blow a big, fat, figurative raspberry at that pain. ❤

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    1. I've been saying "exuberant" and "re-pause"... I'm blaming the latter on Ms Misantropia.

      *wiggles her behind and keeps on keeping on*

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  9. You are an inspiration. I hope to be more like you in my future, talented, positive in the face of adversity.

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    1. Well, gracias Ms. Spookieness. May your wishes reach you x 3.

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  10. I so admire your fighting spirit!

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  11. Yes yes! I am the same way. Down one day up the next! Nothing is ever perfect but it doesn't mean we can't enjoy the things that are wonderful :)

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    1. If we waste all the good days worrying about what bad may come, we'll never enjoy anything. So, yes, yes! Pushing forward. ;-)

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  12. Yay for perversion and free flowing hoses! And I always approve of dancing.

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    1. "Perversion and free flowing hoses!" That's priceless!

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  13. You never fail to make me grin when I read your posts. Looking lovely, as always! ♥

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    1. And that's the yummiest part of writing.

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  14. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3LJgXcTayA

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  15. Love you my friend! Great post!!!!! I can't stop saying exuberant now! LOL!

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