Kinesiophobia: Chronic Pain’s Stagnating Minion

“I can’t believe CP’s an assassin,” the first Watcher said. “He tortures, but—”

“Chronic Pain is a sadist. He slays slowly… This is Kinesiophobia’s kill.”

“I thought K only frightened people?”

“She does.” The second Watcher pointed at the shape gnarled in the coffin. “She petrifies them into stagnation that withers them to death.” ”


I wrote this teeny tale for Flash Fiction 55, over at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads Also because I wanted to say a thing or three about one of Chronic Pain’s minions: Kinesiophobia—anirrational, weakening and devastating fear of movement and activity stemming from the belief of fragility and susceptibility to injury.” (Kori et al., 1990)

Some of you—and I adore you for it, so don’t you ever think of stopping! Please ;-)—have emailed me to say things like, “Dear Wicked One, I hope you know that none of us who love you will think any less of you if you postpone or cancel the party…” I’m blessed by your kindness, my Wicked Luvs; because you reiterate your support and understanding every chance you get. I’m happy to know that if I had to cancel an event, I could do it with you still walking by my side. No worries though, Witches in Fiction 2014… Crafting Blooming Howls remains as previously scheduled. 

There could be someone out there who believes that my refusal to sit and wait until my body heals before resuming my life is just a combination of witchy Aries stubbornness and need for attention. I am a stubborn animal self-diagnosed with severe extrovert(itis), but what keeps me paddling, my Luvs, is an ingrain desire for productive survival.

When I’m experiencing acute pain, I don’t want to do anything but curl under my blanket, while shaking a mental fist at Fate, who seems to think that it’s quite all right to make my flesh and bones hurt so damn much. But we all know that stagnation is the scum of the Universe. And when we allow our pains to terrify us into inertia, the inaction will create a kind of infestation that will wither our flesh and suck all the energy out of our souls.

I don’t push myself to unhealthy limits—irrationality and I have never seen eye-to-eye. But I paddle and paddle and push bit by bit… The soul must remind achy muscles that pain is a suggestion for caution while moving forward, not a call for retreat. Complete withdrawal from the fight will leave a warrior snarled, withered, emptied and eventually dead. Change tactics. Make new weapons. Bare your teeth. Think. Create. Move!

Now that my bit of post-visualization-exercise-induced rapture has been shared, let me show you what I got from Rhissanna, Ash Lynn, a physician friend with a macabre healing touch, and from a childhood friend whom I haven’t seen in twenty-one years:

The Daisy Skull Tea Set was commission from Rhissanna Dollmaker.
I saw one of her originals, and I just had to have my own.
The “Trust Your Crazy Ideas” journal and the All My Friends Are Dead book came from one of my former doctors. If you know me, then you know that he does too, lol!
The wee candle, shells and Nap Pillow are a gift from Ash Lynn. The pillow is full of yummy healing herbs and other energy-loaded natural bits. I asked for her permission to open the pillow, and add the lavender pouch you see in the picture.
The lavender came from Yudelis’ grandmother’s garden. I haven’t seen them in a very long time, but a common friend told them that I had been having problems sleeping. And they sent a bit of island garden magic; and my friends, this is seriously powerful stuff. I mean, it was planted and harvested by a 99-year-old crone. How freaking cool is that! 

 I bet you thought I forgot to tell you about the red veil in the first picture. Well, I didn’t. It is a belated wedding present from Rhissanna. It vanished from the basket before I could take a picture. I went looking for it around the house, and found it on AlmaMia Cienfuegos’ head. I had told her she couldn’t wear it until All Hallow’s Eve, but AlmaMia will be AlmaMia. Which means, she will always climb trees and find ways to do whatever she wants… *sigh*
Think. Play. Create. Fight. Move!

49 comments:

  1. *gentle hug* Do whatever it is you need to do, whether it's resting or snarling at pain.

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  2. You go girl!
    ;)

    That's all I got. I'm just happy you're here doing your thing.

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  3. I agree with Kestrel! So what seems fitting for the time. Blowing kisses! <xxx

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    1. Thank you for the healing kisses! ♥

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  4. As someone who also lives in chronic pain, I admire you. You're a hero to me. Like you, I don't let it keep me down. I know if I do, it will only get worse. But, sometimes it is so hard just to get myself going. And now, it seems my Graves Disease has begun to act up (heart palpitations) which makes it all the harder to get myself going. But life is made to be lived, and, by golly, I am determined to live it to the fullest. I may not comment often, but know that I eagerly read everything you write here and on FB.
    Mary

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    1. I think we all have those days when staying positive and moving forward with a smile sounds like a nasty joke. It is terrible when new (or old) complications join the ever-present chronic pain. That's what has me so tired right now. I'm usually all right (as that's possible) dealing with the chronic pain, but lately with the eye issues, the stomach issues and a few other issues, well, it's exhausting. But like you, "by golly, I am determined to live it to the fullest."

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  5. Pain has no friends, but you have many.

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  6. I always appreciate learning a new word, Magaly, and when I read the definition of kinesiophobia, I really got chills--years ago I injured my lower back, and I remember going through times when I was absolutely terrified to move, for fear of acute pain and paralysis. Fortunately, even for a brooding Capricorn, there are better things to do than enslave yourself to fear, and I so appreciate your zest for living, and your gratitude for all the good things in your life. Also, I love the Daisy Skull tea set. Keep on rockin.

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    1. All that Hedge said goes for me, too. I love your stubborn, er, I meant, lively spirit! ;-)

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    2. The word does describe a terrible feeling... There is nothing more draining than to be afraid of your own body's betrayal. But yes, a bit of stubbornness, er, I meant, having a lively spirit keeps us dancing forward. ;-)

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  7. Take time for you Magaly...whatever that may be. Take care of you. :-)

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  8. Being someone who lives in chronic pain I loved your definition of Kinesiophobia, a new word for me! One must always keep going or the result is not being able to move at all.

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    1. And "not being able to move at all" is not an option for us, is it?

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  9. Kinesiophobia and Magaly ... NOPE, NOPE!

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    1. I just read your comment aloud in a very threatening tone. Kinesiophobia ran for its life. Yep, it did.

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  10. I find it hard to send strength anyone's way right now, because pain and shittiness are trying to cripple me too at the moment. But I will send some anticipatory excitement about your party and some jävlaranamma your way. That last part is really not translatable, but lands in the vicinity of "gumption", "You go girl!" and "Let's raise f***ing hell!".

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    1. Raising f***ing hell together will leave both of us with all kinds of strength, methinks. ;-D

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  11. That is a new word for me ~ I hope you feel better Magaly ~

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  12. … I tried to pronounce it five times… :) Hope you feel better soon.

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    1. It sounds like the name of some unyielding medieval queen, doesn't it?

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  13. Nothing will stop you from kicking ass, Magaly!

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  14. I apologise to AlmaMia, for the hatpin. But sometimes the pain is the only way to go, if you want to get it right. Hugs to you, Magaly, you continue to be a beacon of courage and strength is a world that sometimes falls short of what we expect.

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    1. Oh she is quite the show off, our AlmaMia. She doesn't mind paying the prize if she gets to wear a Rhissanna original (she has been bragging nonstop ;-).

      A beacon, huh? I always did want to be blindingly shiny. *hehehe*

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  15. The three words...think, create, move...yes, very good and a great way to go into this challenge. Well done my Aries friend...I share this sign with you...our Native American totem is the Falcon...I've found some guidance from this animal at times. Great post and presents...I can nearly smell that wonderful lavender. :)

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    1. That Falcon just took shape in my mind... I might not be able to stop thinking about it for a while...

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  16. The way we can be limited by fear and phobia is devastating.. Still take car and do what's best for you.

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  17. You are wise, and know your body better than anyone (except perhaps your Piano Man). Rest and heal and know that we will be here, cheering you on! xo

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    1. *hehehe* You always know how to make me giggle, Jen. I like that. ;-D

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  18. Chronic Pain and it's Minions may have your bones, but never your mind and soul, Stay strong.

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    1. We shall stay strong and glare at the bastard.

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  19. Such lovely treasures! My boyfriend has a t-shirt with the "All my friends are dead" dinosaur hehe. I know you have the ability to find balance, and it is a beautiful thing.

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    1. I might have to get that t-shirt!

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  20. Awesome gifts for an awesome talent.
    ZQ

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  21. I know the hell of chronic pain...My heart goes out to you. Fantastic gifts and appropriate 55 words.

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  22. All My Friends Are Dead is such a great book! Love the teaset, too! Sending hugsssss

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    1. Indeed. I think I'll try to find All My Friends Are Still Dead, too.

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  23. What a special post! Keep kicking Magaly ;o) We love you!

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    1. You bet, my dear Crow Goddess. I've taken my lessons from the very best. *wink, wink*

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  24. Your attitude is inspirational, Magaly. I know the hell of chronic pain, and how difficult it is to keep pushing forward with positivity you don't feel and energy you don't have. But you are so right, stagnation is the scum of the Universe, so we must push forward or wither away. Thank you for this post. Stay strong, and get that motto printed on t-shirts - it's brilliant!

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    1. You know what? I start another session of one-on-one physical therapy in a week or so, then my orthopedic surgeon has other things for me... I think I WILL print that motto on a t-shirt or two. It will be my gift to myself. ;-)

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