Assuming Makes and Ass Out of You… and I’ll Remind You of It

Our experiences, culture, upbringing and pretty much every single thing which makes us who we are will contribute towards the way we see and make sense of the world.

This is just the way things are, so we shouldn’t worry too much about a healthy bit of partiality. However, when our beliefs glaze our eyes in such a way that we can only see the things we agree with, well… when that happens, we should stop and think really hard about the opinions we choose to vomit. For if we don’t, we run the risk of choking on a lot of chunky stupidity. And because life is what it is (and some of us are extremely annoyed by behaviors that embrace ignorance), there will always be at least one person to point out to a self-blinded individual that he or she is acting like an ass.

I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this…  Fear not, my Wicked Luvs, you know I always share the beans. After reading No Power in the ‘Verse Can Stop this Leo, a person who has known me since before I had climbed my first mango tree, emailed me to congratulate me on “finally seeing the light and accepting Jesus as the only truth.”

If the email had come from someone else, I would have thought that it was a joke. But she wasn’t jesting. Her message went on to explain how she always worries about my “dangerous lifestyle.” The message was long… There was mention of hell, heaven, “women who should be reminded that their biggest responsibility is to bear children and obey the Lord…” I read the email a couple of times. Then I reread No Power in the ‘Verse Can Stop this Leo. I wanted to make sure that the Lord of the lady in question had not edited my post when I wasn’t looking. Nope, he had not hacked Blogger.

This was my response to her email:
Um… WTF is wrong with you? [I might have been a tad harsh; I have little patience for idiocy]. Are you so blinded by your understanding of faith that you can’t see that belief, goodness, transformation, spirituality, sacrifice, humane behavior and transcendence have nothing to do with religiosity? I assure you that if you were to open your eyes, your heart and then open your eyes again, you’ll see all the wonderful souls your devout madness has stolen from you.

By the way, this doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to see Jesus in my tale. On the contrary, art speaks differently to different hearts—hence some Bible reader see the good in their scriptures, while trying as best they can to cleanse their faith of ugliness that made sense to ancient minds whose views make most souls cringe these days. You should try talking to people. Asking is a very effective way of finding out truths; doing so will also keep you from sounding like an ass.   

She hasn’t replied yet. I suspect she might not intent to do so. *cough, cough, cough*

These are my “Ha! Oh, you are actually serious!! Hahaha!!!” faces.
Some people’s children just make me cackle a bit madly. 
Yep, they certainly do.

68 comments:

  1. ROTFL ...That's priceless. Art can be a pretty good Rorschach test.

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  2. Well, damn. What can I say? The level of reading comprehension that's taught today... smh

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    1. Yep, it leaves a lot of blinking to be desired.

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  3. Some people will never learn and they are always ready to think they have 'saved' you...stupidity ...

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    1. Stupidity is strong with a few...

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  4. Even when you're irritated you're tactful :)

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    1. I'm quite good at tact... after I spent some time doing some bloody-writing-therapy. Wait until you read what I wrote after reading the email. It made grin one of those grins that nearly hurts the face. Muahahaha!

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  5. I recently had someone tell me he was going to pray for me because I made the comment that I didn't think certain men were good people just because they claimed to be Christians, that goodness and decency came from how they acted not from the beliefs they espoused. I also said that I thought religion, all religion, was bad for people and had caused more harm that good in the world. I told him I found his intention to pray for me insulting and to keep me out of his prayers since I was pretty sure he wasn't going to pray for me to have a happy and prosperous life living by the story that rand true in me but rather that I would see the Christian light and get my soul saved. I told him to tend to his own spirit and let me tend to mine.

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    1. Some people have no sense of propriety, common sense or respect. How hard is it to understand that what makes one happy won't necessarily do the same for another? It's not that difficult.

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    2. Not only that but he accused me of being disrespectful from a Christian point of view. I told him in reply that he was being disrespectful from a non-Christian point of view.

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    3. That is one of the things that annoys me the most. How can individuals like this one be so one-sided? What makes them think that their own rules don't apply to them? One has to be very thickheaded to go through life not understanding just how stupid these kind of behavior makes them look.

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  6. First and I mean no disrespect but the person who sent you that email is an idiot; not because they saw or found their Lord in your wonderful story, but because they assumed that you wrote about their Lord.

    Second I simply adore your “Ha! Oh, you are actually serious!! Hahaha!!!” faces pics, they just made my day :)

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    1. It can't be that offensive when it's true. I, too, think this person is a bit of an idiot... and a disrespectful one at that.

      I need to admit that this pic makes me giggle, too! ;-D

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  7. Of course I read every post, but do I comment ? nO! Why? cause I'm not worthy ...in most of the literature you write! But I was pretty sure the bible tales weren't in that one? Reading comprehension, not one of my strengths but WOW, what a stretch on that reading report!
    xoxoDebi! ( still scratching my head!)

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    1. It's so easy to see what we want to see in the things in front of us. I read a lot of things that I don't fully understand. I leave many comments that say things like, "I'm not sure if I really understood all of this, but it made feel x, y or z." She could have said that the post made her think of Jesus' sacrifice. Hey, we aren't in control of how we feel, just how we express those feelings and what we do with them.

      Lot's of head scratching around here...

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  8. Wha...what? I'm flabbergasted and without words. I didn't really see that in your story. I can get that she did, but I would have asked you.

    But now that you've accepted Jesus, I'm sure you'll want to be a Keeper at Home. I know all the hyper patriarchal blogs and websites you should visit. ;)

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    1. Hahaha! You are a hoot, Anne. I'm all giggles right now. ;-D

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    2. You're going to be Quiverfull too, aren't you? A baby a year makes Jesus super happy! Come on now, down with birth control!

      Sorry, I might be having too much fun with this one. LOL

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    3. The word Quiverfull has always made me grin a bit wickedly. It just sounds so sexual, you know? Poor Jesus is probably shaking his head at the things people say that he wants....

      You can never have too much fun!

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    4. I never thought of it that way, and now I will never think of it any other way. LOVE it!

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    5. My work is now done. Muahahaha!

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  9. What? How? Why?I actually had to re-read your story and still could not see it!

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  10. Your response is priceless! some people .....................

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  11. Some people need their eyes opened for them.. with a chair.. across the back of their skull... I can maybe kinda sorta see how she assumed she saw Jesus in your words if I squint really hard, with certain lighting and I let the blood rush to my brain as I stand on it... but to email you like that is ridiculously obnoxious.. I admire your tact Witchy Woman, I don't think I'd have it in me lol

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    1. I just saw everything you described happening in my head. And it made me laugh so loud. So very loud!

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  12. I LOVE your reply and the fact that you shared these pictures is the icing on the cake. I ca not wrap my mind around Jesus freaks. They are scary.

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    1. One of these I'll share a video of my twitchy-eye incredulity face. It's quite hysterical. It makes me laugh (in the mirror) every time. And about scary... oh yeah, I think everybody who reaches for the extreme end of anything is a tad terrifying.

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  13. Hahahahahahahaha, Hacker Jesus! Someone should write a story about him.

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    1. You are putting ideas in my head! Hm, I wonder what Lum and Jesus would do if they were to walk together into a bar. :-D

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  14. Oh such sweet pictures of you! I know that isn't the point of your blog - but I do love seeing your face, Magaly!! As for your e-mail-er, well she puzzles me, because she should have known better. No explaining some folks.

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    1. My lack of modesty and I are quite fond of pictures of my face, too. *cough*

      Sometimes, some people's refusal to see what is right in front of their faces puzzles me, too. I hope it makes sense to them. If it doesn't, then their lives most be really confusing!

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  15. Oh of course...wait what? I wish there was a more effective expression than wtf, because I'd employ it here. Even with my Christian background and eclectic spiritual mishmash I fail to get Jesus out of the story...maybe it's the repeated use of "so mote it be", a traditional pagan phrase, or ... Oh hell, W T F???

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    1. Hahaha! "maybe it's the repeated use of 'so mote it be', a traditional pagan phrase, or ... Oh hell, W T F???" I didn't even think of that. I guess that little detail makes the whole thing even a bit madder. And kind of annoyingly funny, too...

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  16. Some people's kids *shaking my head here* I just don't get how she felt she could talk to you (or anyone) in that manner. Yeah, remind me to never assume anything ...ever...again

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    1. I think there are people who forget that the rank/role they hold in one place has little to do with their influence over other people. She has been a religious teacher of many people for a very long time--never mind. I was always the ram she never realized wasn't a sheep. I hope she reads this post and all the comments. It might be healthy for her mental and spiritual health to figure out that I'm not the only one who takes that she takes too many liberties. And that respect, trust and the right to say certain things to certain people must be earned.

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  17. You should totally patent it and call it 'How to Answer Dumbasses'. Classic, made my day and made me laugh!!!

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    1. I always wanted to serve society, didn't I? LOL!

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  18. I was having a conversation with my roommate the other day, about how I allow people to hurt me because it's the right thing to do. She believes instead in confronting people who cause you harm, so that they know about it. I guess that's sensible, and I filed it away that the next time she does something that hurts me I should tell her. Maybe that's not so good an idea though, right? You see, sometimes a policy that seems masochistic is actually just practical.

    It's my place to take the harm though. For so much of my life people have harmed me continually without even realizing it; and I would never stop them, because I believe that there is an acorn of benevolence in their hearts, that everyone has good intentions somewhere inside them, and that it's my duty to allow them to figure out how best to nurture and proffer the fruits of benevolence; and if they pour out vitriol instead? ...one man's poison is another man's peach stone I guess.

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    1. The best we can do for our world and fellow men is to live and let live (for as long as someone is not abusing another who can not defend herself or himself). If offering the other cheek is what drives you, may your feet hold you strong and may your skin never give in to the sting of each slap.

      That would never suit me. If someone needs for others to suffer in order to make them happy, well, they will be very unhappy. I would never sacrifice my own body and soul for someone who believes he or she deserves more or at a higher level than I do.

      When it comes to "poison" and "peach," I believe that the peach can be as venomous as the poison if one is fed against his or her will... or to satisfy the hunger of another.

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  19. It's great you feel so secure you don't really get offended! I still get really cross when people cast aspersions on my character! I once had an online argument with someone's friend about whether non-Christians could go to Paradise (if it ends up there is one) if they are good people, my argument being that all good people would surely receive a reward if there is an afterlife. I cannot believe that bad people who say they believe in God would get off easier than good people!

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    1. One of the biggest gift we can present ourselves with is the knowledge that others can only harm us if we let them. It is easier said than done, but enough practices eventually gets us there. And the reward is worth every scratch and every tear.

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  20. Devout madness handled marvelously, my Wicked One! Bwahahahahaha!

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    1. Someone should paint the visual of "Devout Madness." I wonder what it would look like...

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    2. Let's put it out there and see who shows up!

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    3. That would be grand and then some!

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  21. Every time you share some part of yourself and your experiences, I am awed by your strength and personal integrity.
    So glad to know you are in the world. What a ripple you create....

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    1. I think my "ripple" looks so grand because of the wonderful ripplers (I don't care if that's not a word) who surround my life. ;-)

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  22. I back tracked and read your story. I did not by any stretch see what your emailer was talking about...unless they give all tales of goodness to their god.

    Very well written tale full of lessons and what if's, I loved it. I encourage your unique response and so love your Will Things t-shirt.

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    1. I read the story a couple of times looking for the clues she might have seen. I suspect she was referring to the sacrifice or the acceptance of the bad things that happen in this world and the hope for something better to come... I have no idea. Like you said, a bit of a stretch.

      I love this t-shirt, too. :-)

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  23. Oh my gosh! If there was a Christian undertone to your story I think I completely missed it ;) I don't know many people who attend Christian church, other than my grandparents, so I don't really get the backlash towards my paganism from anyone (I certainly don't discuss it with my grandparents, that's a lost cause of frustration and grief.) I liked your reply. It was a bullshit email for this person to send in the first place, with absolutely no bearing in reality!

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    1. Hm... maybe she started writing fantasy and I had no idea. That might explain her neck-breaking leap out of reality.

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  24. Had to go re-read too....?....so Jesus is an old dead lioness? Hadn't read that anywhere in the bible, though maybe it is one of those (many) books others chose to remove for our safety :D XXX

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    1. Now I can't stop imagining Jesus as a feisty lioness. It's all your fault! Or maybe I'm just mind-pulling the images from one of those unsafe books.*cough* I need to take something for this cough. *cough, cough*

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  25. If only those people were as worried about their own souls as they area bout the souls of others... what a beautiful world this might be...

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    1. So mate it be, amén and all those other things...

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  26. It's funny because I'm sure people convince themselves that their interference is altruistic... that they are trying to help or save another. In truth though, I think it is actually a deep-rooted lack of faith in their own belief system. The blindly devout are uncomfortable with anyone who chooses a different path because it raises all sorts of pesky questions that don't want to ever ask themselves, lest the dogma doesn't quite stand up to scrutiny.

    "we should stop and think really hard about the opinions we choose to vomit. For if we don’t, we run the risk of choking on a lot of chunky stupidity." And brilliantly evocative imagery! My stomach lurched a little reading that description. Haha. ;D

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    1. * that they don't ever want to ask themselves

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    2. Fear of our own failings can make us scream really loud, in order to hide the sound of panic. So loud that yes, we can choke in the chunky bits. (That is a rather nasty image, lol).

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  27. I got smacked recently with the holy arm of the self righteous who also is a family member. It happened on Facebook. I unfriended her. It is a long story, but the short of it is I told her I would never go back to church because some of the worst things that have happened to my family came from two different churches/two different denominations. After she told me I was risking not entering heaven by not going to church and that my lifestyle didn't allow me to serve God, she ended with, "I love you Susie."

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    1. People can be so terribly strange... I will never get how they don't see the disparities between their actions and words (and in this case, contradictory words!). Maybe one day more people will realize that if they truly follow a path of unconditional love and respect, then they should start showing it by behaving in a way that speaks of their intent.

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  28. Not the least bit too hard, my dear. If someone talked to me that way I'd probably punch them, or throw up on them. Probably both.

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    1. If it ever happens... take pictures. Please.

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  29. You are fantastic! I love what you wrote and I love your pictures ;o)
    I still can't believe what she wrote to you!
    xoxoxo

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    1. Some people are just that silly... or a bit nuts.

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