Shooting People at a Mad Dream Wedding

She saw herself through a foggy camera lens. She was young and naked, sitting on a wooden pew, surrounded by people wearing formal attire.

“You think the marriage will last?” an old woman said to her.

“I doubt it, ma’am,” answered the phantom voice of a young-sounding guy.

“This is a robbery!” yelled a priest who stood on a white altar holding a white gun to a limp woman’s temple. “Move an inch and, by god, I’ll shoot the bride’s head off.”

She jumped to her feet and covered her mouth with her hands.

click

She sat down too fast, and landed on a rocking chair in a small kitchen, staring at the old woman crawling into a woodstove.

“I hope the reception is better. The ceremony sucked. I hate weddings,” the old woman whispered. “Close the door, dear, it’s not getting hot in here.”

click

“Hold on to me, babe,” the blond guy said, flashing a grin full of silver teeth. “I have drinks and an edible cake topper.”

“I don’t think the priests can shoot, sir,” said a guy, stripping out of a camouflaged uniform and picking up a yellow toy gun.

click

“Is he letting you out?” the blond guy said to the old woman.

“Yes.” The old woman changed positions in the woodstove. “I need to go to the post office. He knows its important. Fairy tale ovens are heavy, but woodstoves are really bolted to the floor.”

“Here,” said the blond guy, handing the old lady three dollar bills.

She grabbed them through the woodstove’s glass.

click

“Can you believe that priest? To think I wanted him to marry me.” The blond guy tsked.

She looked away from him and closed her eyes. She opened them back at the church, leaning against an orange glass door.

“Drop the gun, Father! Everybody can see the bride is already dead, and I know you’re drunk. Don’t make me shoot you,” a police officer shouted from inside the confession booth. He aimed a crossbow at the priest; the tip of his arrow was on fire.

The blond guy nudged her. “I wrote a coded message on the three dollar bills. Robin Hood should confess his good deeds and light up the party.”

“Look at me! Look at me!” someone yelled.

She turned towards the shrilly voice. It was the young-sounding guy doing cartwheels in nothing but dingy tighty-whities. He came to a halt in front of her, spread his arms and bowed. He wore a thick layer of bright teal eye shadow around his left eye. His yellow toy gun was affixed to his chest with duct tape.

click

She was naked in bed, shaking away remnants of hot sleep. Someone knocked on the door, saying something about trying on sexy wedding dresses and how Hansel and Gretel really sucked.
  
In Dreams, by okmarzo 

27 comments:

  1. ...This hurt my brain... because I've had dreams like this...

    I don't want to sleep now. Lol. But seriously, I kinda don't... O.o

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    1. Weird dreams have a special place in my heart. ;-)

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  2. Wedding filled dreams.. May be because you are planning one? :) Recently I started "collecting" my dreams and made few of them into stories... for no purpose just because they seemd peculiar to me.

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    1. It might be...

      I do hope you share some of your tales!

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  3. Nice to know I'm not the only one who has strange ass dreams

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    1. "strange ass dreams" are fun to be had. ;-D

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  4. I love the "click" gimmick. It gives everything a tangible feel. And I love the phrase "shaking away remnants of hot sleep" This was fun. Visceral. Like dreams really are. Well written, Magaly.

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    1. Yay! I was hoping the "click" could be heard. And I really wanted the dream to be just that, a dream. *big silly grin*

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  5. Yeah, strange ass dreams are making the rounds it seems...

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    1. Is that so? Spill the beans, Señora Lesperance!

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  6. I love watching Hansel &. Gretel! Click.......I hope I inspired the old women character! I've said...weddings suck more than twice! I too liked the " click" Loved your story, all relative events that mix nicely! don't you think?
    Eating pizza before bed really gets Your story telling on!
    Three dollar bill...that's when I new it was a dream! ( lololol). xoDebi

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    1. I'm pretty sure the character was summoning your "weddings suck" vibes, lol!

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  7. So many SyFy movies to be made out of this dream :)

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  8. What a trip through the surreal! Sometimes I'm glad I don't remember my dreams...

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    1. I love that I remember my dreams; especially the really, really, really creepy ones. ;-D

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    2. Well, there are some times--like when the real life setting resembles the horrible dream too much--when I would prefer for the dreams to be a bit less realistic, lol!

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  9. Lol...didn't get much sleep that night did you?....thought it was only me that had weird shit for dreams:D XXX

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    1. Not much sleep, it was all living and doing, lol!

      "weird shit for dreams" is quite interesting, isn't it?

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  10. Ok, my head is spinning! Click! LOL! Since January, I have been really paying attention to my dreams and some of them are freaky!!! ;o)

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    1. Maybe Vickie is right and freaky dreams are flying around. I wonder, wonder, wonder...

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  11. All the while I was reading this, I was wondering, "where the hell is the Groom?. click

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    1. He was probably getting his silver teeth implanted, lol!

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  12. I think you have to be a truly fascinating person to have dreams as cool as this :D

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    1. Ah, now my dreams are going to fly around the night feeling all smug and stuff. ;-D

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  13. Oh! This has the same fabulous distortion of Alice being handed knitting needles and them turning into oars, and the scented rushes melting to nothing as fast as she picks them. Yes, dreams actually are like this, particularly if you got a wedding coming at you like an express train.

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    1. And planning a wedding while writing about bloody mayhem does add a certain bloody touch to one's dream. *grin*

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