What to do when the universe takes our lives by the short hairs, laughs at the panic and pain in our faces, and then pulls hard?
Regardless of how you react to a particular event, there is always a
clueless, bastardish, douchebag
friend who tries to console you by pointing out how your behavior is either
exaggerated or not exaggerated enough for the situation at hand. Unless, of
course, you act exactly as they supposed they might’ve acted if they had been
in your shoes… even if doing so would be absolutely out of character for you.
You might have noticed—since you aren’t blind—that I’m using the second person point of view quite a bit. That’s because this post is mostly not about me, but about a couple of friends and certain a-holes who claim to care about them. I’m not completely sure what’s going on in the universe, my Wicked Luvs, but something is making some people act like unfeeling beasts.
First Example: a spouse who suffers from the torments of insecurity and severe anxiety separation panics when her husband has to travel for business. She seeks the help of a friend, and the latter says, “Think positive, girl, he won’t be looking. Now you can go wild and do all the things you wished you could have done before you married.”
Second Example: some idiot tries to make me feel better about my not being able to run anymore, by saying, “If you milk this the right way and sit on your ass, you can ride the VA buck and eat, shit and smile until you suck them dry.”
Third Example: someone’s best friend commits suicide, and at the funeral a friend tells him, “All will be fine. Look for god in your heart. He’ll help you see how you failed this soul and not let the same happen in the future.”
I just reread this post and almost deleted it… almost. You see, my best friend and I have been discussing the disadvantages of sharing negative things with other people—negativity tends to promote more negativity. I believe that. So why am I sharing this triad of callousness? Simple. Because I also believe that one of life’s most important key for survival involves kicking negativity in the teeth, over and over, until it bleeds the blood of death, change and rebirth, and turns into something positive.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking, my Wicked Luvs? It would take an act of magic—or at least serious emotional alchemy—to transmute the examples given above into something beneficial to anyone.
Or maybe not; sometimes, all we need to do is keep things simple: in this case, positivity can be achieved by remembering that this is not the end of the world, not even close to it. We have tomorrow and then the tomorrow after that one to make sure that we never act like the people in the three examples. And if we are very lucky—and have the patience for it—we might even get the time to point out to the people in question why they should probably revisit their helping/comforting/soul saving techniques.
Here is a mystery seedling and part of a millipede;
because sprouts make me happy,
and myriapodous arthropods need photo-loving, too