Monday, February 17, 2014

Disappointed, Surprised, Disgusted or Annoyed with Myself

Long day… I’m going to bed wondering if I should be feeling disappointed, surprised, disgusted or just annoyed with myself. Remember the person I wanted to help get a bit of social media exposure for an existing online business? Well, I spent the last week researching Pinterest, Instagram, fashion blogs… looking for ideas and approaches—many of you volunteered your input, some went as far as to offer your time. Thank you. I won’t forget.

Today, the person asked me if the help I was going to provide “would be attached to [my] Pagan stuff.”

My mind filled with about a thousand different responses. But I think my brain knew that saying the words would have probably made my mouth fill with bile. So I only said, “Yes, it would. And I won’t even let you finish that thought. If you say what we both know you are thinking, I might be left feeling ashamed of you. I don’t want that. I don’t think you want it either.”

I don’t get it, my Wicked Luvs. I don’t understand a brain—a heart!—that attaches goodness, friendship, love… to a specific dogma. How can a person’s mind be so limited? How can a soul survive and thrive in such a lonely and tiny space?

I’m not angry, just saddened. I hope this person’s eyes open to life. I pray he can learn that true spirituality shouldnt care about religion or the lack thereof. Goodness subscribes to no creed.
   

58 comments:

  1. That is very sad indeed. Maybe one day all people will be treated the same no matter their beliefs, orientations, race, sex, or whatever else we are born to be.

    Magaly don't let this get you down, your one of the kindest, most helpful people I know, you have a beautiful heart and no one should care if your Pagan or not; especially when they are asking you for help.

    And to the person asking for help, shame on you!!! Magaly opened her heart and spent HER time and resources (her community/friends) to help YOU; then you respond to her kindness by disrespecting her, I would hate to be you when KARMA comes knocking.

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    1. Let's hope for the best. Sometimes the best think Karma can do is teach someone that their worldview is just that, not universal law.

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  2. I try to be openminded and accept people as they are. I feel if we took time to really learn about other peoples' beliefs we would find much in common. The arrogance of each belief thinking they are superior goes a long way to explaining the upheaval in our world. Disappointment in someone is not a nice feeling, I find a little bit of grieving does no harm, then I move on and embrace all that is good in life.

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    1. Grieving can be a very freeing activity, methinks.

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  3. The 2 women above put it very well. As did you in your post. The process is the same no matter the content. Keep rocking on!

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  4. Disappointment is a big emotion and it does suck the juice out of good things. It is, after all, the inverse of Hope. This friend of yours was happy to ask for your help, but timid about embracing all of it. That's not going to go down well in any kind of social networking, as it will close doors for him, not open them.

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    1. Goodness, you sure know what you're talking about. I'm drained right now...

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  5. Once i tried to help a girl that had some issues! She had social anxiety and she was very awkward around new people and had no friends! So, of course i took time out of my life and took her for a haircut, talked about fashion with her(yes, me! the less fashionista person in the world) and talked through her fears about what other people think.I became friends with her, i opened my heart to her.
    And then one day her brother was planning a party and she came up to me and told me if i would mind not telling people that i am a psychic and not to talk about my spirituality.To introduce myself as a singer!
    I was heartbroken!
    So many people will disappoint us, but then again the others that will surprise us with their love are the ones that count!

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    1. I don't think people think before they say certain things. And if they do think, I'm scared to think what lies in their brains.

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  6. all I want to do is hug you and send ya love, I am so sorry that you were hurt you so do not deserve that and it saddens me how religion can still cause blinders that are so painful for those of us that don'w wear them to see and cope with....sad

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    1. I shall let myself be hugged by your thoughts...

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  7. Yes, it is sad... Folks like that seem to know how to seek out kindhearted people.. I've been in your shoes..and I think people who are like the one u mention seem to thrive on control.. I reread your past post and it reminded me of a situation I was in.. I am glad u stood up to him and spoke your mind.. I've learned to do that as well... Now, I tend to distance myself from people like that so I don't get sucked in.

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    1. I was telling myself that I should probably be thankful that he said what he had to say before I put more time into the whole thing.

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    2. I think u are right... then again, what a prick!. sheesh.. the audacity of asking something like that.. that is what gets me.

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  8. That stinks like a teen's gym shoes left in a locker with a bologna sandwich. It's sad some people feel the need to put up barriers based on religious differences. It'd be nice if humanity as a whole could mature past that stage.

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  9. Dear Sweet Magaly. One of the bitterest truths about love is that those closest to us, those we open our hearts and souls to, are the very ones who can, and do, wound us the most painfully. I can only hope that, having inflicted this hurt, your friend eventually seeks your forgiveness.

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    1. I pray for the same. And for some miracle that lets him see that the world is not shaped just in the way he thinks it should be.

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  10. Has this person not heard of "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth?" A favor is a favor and he/she can use it or not. That said, religion is very divisive, as are politics and other ethical and moral choices people make.

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    1. Particularly when he knew what the horse was all about beforehand.

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  11. Very disappointing, yes. You'll just have to chalk it up to experience.

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  12. Sucky sucky people - never fail to let you down. What a two-faced deceitful user :( And this fear of paganism/witchcraft that Americans have never seizes to surprise me. I'm sorry, Magaly. It must be very hurtful.

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    1. Right? I was born and grew up here in America (where I still live) and it STILL confuses me. For a culture that claims to be "open minded and accepting" we sure do draw some funny conclusions about people based on very silly things. :(

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    2. The first one to make sense of why people act this way better tell the other two.

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    3. Well... actually Americans aren't considered especially open minded nor accepting - at least not by Northern European standards. From what we see of you over here, you are a pretty religious and superstitious people as a whole.

      One doesn't fear something one doesn't believe exists. Atheists don't go around fearing Pagans. But many people who adhere to organized religions also believe in (and fear) such things as Witchcraft. It's a much smaller step once you already believe in something.

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    4. Hmm, I just read that back to myself and realized that I sounded a bit like an arrogant Euro-jerk, sorry. So let me just make clear that I'm not saying that all Americans are narrow minded and "godly". My partner isn't, for one :)

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    5. I knew what you meant and I think most people would, too. This topic can be poked from so many sides that we can go on and on forever, don't you think? LOL

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  13. Magaly my love! I am so sorry you had to have this experience. It is unnecessary and uncalled for. Eliora said it best "One of the bitterest truths about love is that those closest to us, those we open our hearts and souls to, are the very ones who can, and do, wound us the most painfully." The saddest part of all this is he lost the respect and love of his one friend who was able to love him without judgement.

    You of all people do not deserve to be treated in this manner and I am sending you many virtual hugs. Wrapping my arms around your shoulder and squeezing gently. Love you much Dear Heart! <3

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    1. The closer the issuer of the hurt the bigger the pain.

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  14. Don't worry, not being an ignorant knob takes some time. Even if the person is basically great. You'll work this out. (Do you know why s/he feels this way?)

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    1. He is a devout Christian with some serious issues...

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    2. ...and who has probably never heard of diversity.

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  15. It's always disappointing when you realize someone you call friend harbors these feelings. I'm glad you didn't spew out the things you wanted to in your hurt - maybe one day that act will lead to this person gaining better understanding and acceptance of other people's "paganness". Some times calling a jackass a jackass in our moments of frustration only "proves" to them that pagans and witches are "bad" people... because they don't take in to account that it feels pretty shitty to have someone discount your help because of something like spirituality.

    *hugs*

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    1. It's hard to accept something this ugly coming out of a person who you know is basically good. Like Ms. Misantropia and you said above, I don't understand what drives a person to claim this level of ignorance.

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  16. Moments like these, as painful as they might be, tend to be the best parables in living in an amongst fool children. What a sad episode for you especially but also for him. He was on the cusp of a door opening and he slammed it with his ignorance or arrogance. You on the other hand have the right to be hurt and sad but remember the lesson..........keep giving, be open, feather you nest with the possibilities that being kind offers every person no matter our backgrounds, knowledge or spiritual bent because you spoke the truth and that it that. Love you for your giving, loving, kindness. Oma Linda

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    1. A wise lady once told me to always "keep on keeping on." I won't ever change because of someone else. No one has earned that.

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  17. So much for working with the public! Trying to sell your goods with a closed heart!
    Please be happy and content that YOu! are not confined! xoDebi

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    1. It's one of the first things I said. I asked how he planned on selling stuff, interacting with people, and his opinion of them were less than kind? Makes no sense to me.

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  18. Amazing that some people will accept an offer of help and then want tp put conditions on it. And then to discover a hidden lack of acceptance.

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    1. It's ridiculous. Especially the part about them believing that this will, in any shape or context, be okay.

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  19. Oh, what an awful person! It seems he's taken advantage of your generosity and basically kicked you in the teeth with his narrow minded ignorance!

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    1. Sometimes I wonder if those blinders he has developed over the years make him think that what he said was the right thing. That thought is rather scary...

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  20. Don't be disappointed, surprised, disgusted or annoyed with yourself for ANY reason. You did absolutely nothing wrong! You opened yourself and gave freely your friendship, knowledge and assistance without asking anything in return.

    He on the other hand is a closed minded, self absorbed jerk. You're good enough to help him in his new endeavor, but not if you're not willing to be something you are not. He's a hypocrite. You my dear are as beautiful outside as you are in. Do NOT let someone like that make you feel less than that for even a second.

    Dawn

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    1. You know, I don't think he fully understands how his beliefs might affect others. Or if he does, he might think they are fine and justified. This is just so strange... and a bit scary.

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  21. Hmmm... interesting that your spiritual beliefs didn't dissuade him from asking you for a favour... just so long as you conceal them when dealing with him, so that they don't soil his delicate sensibilities or tarnish his image in any way. Grrr!

    I know it's hard not to feel disappointed, but at the end of the day, you were being kind and generous, Magaly, and he is being an asshat! ❤

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    1. I've said this a lot today, and I think I will say it again: it makes no sense. I wonder if there is a universe in which those words would be said and not be considered insensitive and just plain wrong. Oh well, people will be people. All we can do is be us.

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  22. Goodness is attached to no creed! So true and something that far too often seems to get lost in the mix. I'm sorry that was a disappointment but sometimes others miss out on lovely people and opportunities before they realize that creed doesn't necessarily create goodness.

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    1. All we can do is move forward, cautiously, and throw a few kicks if we have to.

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  23. How sad ~ and how unbelievably unkind to someone trying to help! We have a long way to go as humans!

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    1. Yes, we do. It's a terrible thing.

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  24. You are a loving, caring, beautiful person! Don't change! This person has missed out! This person has closed the door! Truly so sad!!!

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    1. Now, I shall go to the mirror and blow lots and lots of kisses. :-D

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    1. Sometimes we must, don't we?

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  26. That is saddened. I never understand that either. Thankfully one of my Christian friends once told me I don't care what you believe cause you are a good person and that's what I care about.

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    1. Let's hope for the day when this kind of thing won't even be an issue. Probably never, but we can hope, right?

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