Self-Defenestration via the Windows of My Eye Sockets


After I finished rereading New Moon, I posted the following on Facebook:

The second book of the Twilight Saga helped me realize 3 things:
1. Bella Swan might be the dumbest character in the history of the written word.
2. After reading and rereading the phrases “velvet voice” and “hole in my chest” my brain is considering the benefits of self-defenestration via the windows of my eye sockets.

The responses to the status update were very interesting; the public and the private ones. I will discuss both (particularly the latter) this weekend. Hm, I seem to have forgotten the 3rd realization. Mayhap it helped me feel more sparkly? Nah, I was already glittery to the bone ;-)
“He leaned back, looking me over again. He smiled his heart-stopping smile.
‘you are absurdly beautiful’
Nobody said it was easy… No one ever said it would be this hard.”
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22 comments:

  1. Hahahaha...not impressed then?....What constitutes "absurdly beautiful"? :D XXX

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    1. I think "absurdly beautiful" means different thing to different people. That can be really good or really bad, when we consider that it is difficult to know exactly what she means.

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  2. I find the writing very simplistic, to the point of being two dimensional...no complexities at all. This leads to the worrying thought that Twilight appeals to those who lack interest in, or skill in, critical thinking. (which isn't to say the targeted audience is stupid, just....meh)

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    1. I totally agree. The story doesn't leave much to the imagination. Everything is explained, and most of the time the reader knows what's going on chapters before the character gets a clue.

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  3. I read these with my then teen-aged daughter. I found I was working altogether too hard hard to construct the mental imagery required for me to enjoy reading. This was a job, not a pleasure.

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    1. Few things are more unbearable than reading a book because "you have to." I know all about it...

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  4. I suffered through the first book on a plane ride from L.A. to Baltimore one time. After that, I refused to mutilate my brain cells further. You are more absurdly beautiful and sparkly than any character in that book ;)

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    1. Hm, I'm not sure your last sentence is necessarily a good thing. Most sleep on it... LOL

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  5. Isn't Stephanie Meyers the Shakespeare of our time?

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    1. HRH, did you steal Debra's computer again? I just know you did. Debra would never say something like that. She knows it might give me a heart attack!

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  6. I couldn't get through the first chapter of Twilight...
    Btw, have you gotten my emails?

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    1. It hasn't been easy. My friend is going to owe me for this one. He might have to do many, many, many shameful things before the debt is paid LOL

      Emails? I better check. I haven't seen any...

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  7. I actually do read fiction on occasion Magaly, although to you, and only you do I confess that I am presently reading an autobiography of Thomas Becket, and The Twilight Series was one I tried. I really, really tried. I mean everybody was raving about it. Grown up women I knew were going on about it. I think I managed 10 pages of the 1st book. On the bright side I do agree that you are glittery to the bone!!

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    1. To half-quote the writer, I knew it wasn't going to be "easy… [but in the name of Ares' blazing balls! I never thought it could] be this hard."

      I have a few theories as of why so many people might like the books. I don't particularly like my theories. They make me a little sad, so I hope to be wrong...

      And yes, "glittery to the bone!!" ;-D

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  8. Autooculardefenestration is a terrible thing.

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    1. "Autooculardefenestration" such a delicious word. The imagery makes me giggle ;-D

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  9. My brother agrees with you about Bella Swan ;o) LOL!

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    1. Ask your brother if he got around to reading all four books? If he did, he can write that down in his resume as testament of his stamina ;-D

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  10. I really really tried to like Twilight. EVERYONE was raving over the books. Moms and daughters were bonding over their love for sparkly vampires and Bella. Aunts and nieces were bonding via shared werewolf inspired swoons. In the dark of the night I guiltily watched the movies to see if I could like Bella anymore if she was portrayed by the ever-sullen actress who brought her to life on the big screen. Alas! Something is truly amiss with me, and I want to feed Stephanie Myers to a big shaggy wolf with rippling, oiled abs while glutting a fire with every last one of her characters. I am frustrated that I truly don't understand why so many LOVE the series. But then again, there are lots of people out there who probably find my beloved Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon tiresome...different strokes for different folks.

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    1. You aren't the only one shaking your head, scratching it in confusion and perhaps pulling your hair out in an effort to understand what makes the Twilight books so appealing to so many. Does this reaction remind you of the behavior of most of the world when it comes to another collection of books that has also made you and I shake our heads?

      I think your last sentence explains it well, my dear friend...

      P.S. I'm grinning at the image of a "big shaggy wolf with rippling, oiled abs" LOL

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  11. They are soooooo faeries :)

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    1. You should probably start a bio-sociological investigation into the fairy ancestry of the Cullens LOL

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