We’ve all met at least one person who sits around waiting for someone else to make a mistake, so that he or she can go, “I told you so!” This individual takes joy in shaming anyone who they perceive to be self-contradictory. We all know that kind of instigator; and most of us feel a mixture of disgust and morbid fascination towards his or her behavior. Maybe the “morbid” bit describes only me…
I don’t know a lot of people who dislike me (to my face). Most of the ones who have expressed some kind of Magaly-loathing tend to feel that way for the wrong reasons. I said “most” because I clearly remember the hateful face of certain squad leader, who might have been tricked into spending nearly three hours in a porta potty, during a sweltering North Carolina summer.
But you can’t really blame the person who trapped the squad leader, in the stinky company of the waste of hundreds of young Marines, who had been eating nothing but gut-obliterating MREs for weeks. For the squad leader in question was really annoying. He thought of showers as something that happened to other people. He spent half his day spitting chewing tobacco juice into a clear bottle, and the rest making sexist or sexual remarks to and about the person who trapped him.
And seriously, my Wicked Luvs, Marine Corps Combat Training got really boring at times. Also, the person who trapped the rotten chauvinistic jerkwad in the shithouse needed to do something with the two rolls of duct tape she had been carrying around in her backpack. They were bulky, heavy, and sooo stickily attractive ;-) Anyhoo, back to the psychos without a cause…
A few days ago, a person I’ve never talked to (or who’s using a fake name) contacted me to share some wisdom. For the sake of clarity, I’ll call him or her Haters Anonymous Escapee while I let you glimpse into our exchange.
Haters Anonymous Escapee: “I hate people that want attention and pity so they act so hypocrite.”
Rather Confused Witchy Me: “I don’t hate any particular ‘people’ but attention seekers do get on my nerves. And hypocrites are scum. Are you sure you sent your message to the right email address? I’m not sure I know you.”
Haters Anonymous Escapee: “you make other blog people feel bad because they don’t do thing, and you don’t do them either.”
Rather Confused Witchy Me: “Come again?”
Haters Anonymous Escapee: “you talk about people who don’t write for blog parties after signing up. you didn’t do the whole pagan blog project and you signed up. you don’t write for the mind challenge and you signed up. i hate people that aren’t real. you lie and stupid people don’t know. you harm people. you laugh about it.”
Rather Confused Witchy Me: “I think you have some serious issues. I’ll do you a favor and not reply to any more or your messages. However, if you do have a grievance, go ahead and point it out. I would be more than happy to blog about it (maybe others feel as you do?). In fact, I’ll probably write about this one. And there is a possibility that I’ll joke a bit about your accusations. Insanity needs laughter. If we don’t laugh at the lovely lunatics in our lives, well… we might get really pissed off for no obvious reason, and become just as insane.”
There were more messages detailing the evil of my ways, my obvious plot to spread deception, sarcasm and hysterical cackles through the blogosphere. One blog ring to rule them all! And when that’s done, I’ll get a hold of Pinky and the Brain, and go for world domination. Is that enough nonsense? I would hate to let Haters Anonymous Escapee down.
I’m very patient with people whose ignorance is rooted in lack of access to necessary information. We’ve all been there… But any time a busybody (who knows just how to stick his or her nasty nose in other people’s business) jumps skull first into the wrong (hateful) conclusions, and then has the guts to try to make me feel guilty about their blatant stupidity… well, my patience takes leave and my sarcasm rules the party. It’s just easier (and much more entertaining) this way, isn’t it?
P.S. Just so our Haters Anonymous Escapee won’t suffer a massive coronary, I want to say that I had my reasons for not finishing the Pagan Blog Project (which I shared with the hostess). And the justification for my scarce participation in the MFE’s Mind, Body, Soul 90 Day Challenge can be found somewhere in the comment section of the event in question. Anyone who has looked for it and hasn’t foun it *Haters Anonymous Escapee, cough, cough* needs to start using their snooping power for good.