You’ll Dance When I Die, 2013


This is part of a post I first published in 2011, which contains some of my last wishes. At the moment, things are getting hazy—again—around my little brother’s funeral services. Prior agreements are being dismissed, people are changing their minds, his wishes are been taken as guidance, the wants of the living are getting priority, some need this… others want that…

I’m exhausted. I wish for about three breaks… and a little lift. Some might think this odd, but reading my will and knowing that the person in charge of carrying out my last wishes will make sure that they become a reality gives me a bit of peace. Send me light, patience and wisdom, my Wicked Luvs…

“You’ll Dance When I Die” 
You’ll dance when I die because you loved me and you knew me.

You’ll wear my favorite colors: black and red. It’ll be okay to cry when you miss me too much, but the tears will dry as you spin, laugh and dance.

You won’t kill flowers for my funeral party. You’ll know cut flowers would make me sad. But you’ll bring potted daisies to brighten up the place; pink happy ones to the right of my urn, and red wild ones to the left.

You’ll keep some of my ashes, but will spread most in the woods. You’ll know I’ll want to be trees, soil, flowers… I’ll want to coat a stone, an old log, a new seed… I’ll want to be Nature… earth food… I will, in death, still want to be me.

You’ll play my favorite music; loud. At the universe you might be pissed. Sometimes you’ll ask the Gods “Why did you have to take my love?” And you’ll be fucking mad at them, at me, at everything…

But you’ll still dance when I die because you’ll remember that I lived.

                                                                   via

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37 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm hanging. It's not nearly as hard when so many hands and heart help me stay up ;-)

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  2. I've already asked for my body to be donated...science, wherever (a body farm would be ideal). As most of the people I currently talk to are online, whatever funeral will most likely be 'here', provided my grandchildren are old enough to organize anything.

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    1. I've done the same, except for the grandchildren part ;-)

      I've broken so many things, have so many health issues, that I'm almost joyful at the thought of how the bits I can no longer use after I'm gone will help others finds necessary answers.

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  3. How lovely! I will dance while you're alive and if I am still around, I will dance because I knew you, a little bit in this crazy internet world. All I know is that I can say you touched my life with beauty, with laughter, with wonder, joy, your wild beautiful heart. So young you are, and yet a life so well and richly lived!
    Today I will also dance for your brother, because though I never knew him, he is a part of you who I do so adore.
    Love, light, comfort and warmth weave between these few lines I've typed. You are on my mind and in my heart. <3<3

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    1. We'll dance together. We'll keep the circle warm, bright and bursting with energy. And after we are gone, that energy will remind the world that we'll always bee with them ;-)

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  4. Beautiful, and reminiscent of what I have written in my "will" as well. Hang in there Magaly.

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    1. Wicked lovely minds think alike ;-)

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  5. I like to dance on peoples graves...well , to be fair...on the spot where there grave is going to be if they insist on pissing me off to often. Seems only right to give clear warning lol Light and love to you precious one :D XXX

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    1. You can make me laugh in the weirdest of times, Gina. And I love you for that. If you ever need a dance partner, well... you know ;-)

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  6. Grief makes people act strangely. At times of loss the one we lost sometimes gets forgotten in the ceremony of commercialism. Simple, sweet words of love is all that is needed at these times. We should remember the person not the fanfare of farewell.

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    1. Grievers work in mysterious (and insane) ways ;-)

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  7. This will all end soon and the family will be once again united and together! Stay strong dear Magaly!
    I love your will. It is really beautiful. Now i want to make one too!

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    1. I'm looking forward to those upcoming days when we'll tell his stories, laugh at the silly things he did, show pride at the progresses he made... I know we'll get there eventually, we just have to hold on, right?

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  8. Thinking of you as you process this sad event. I absolutely love your last wishes. Straight from the heart! And totally, absolutely 100% Magaly!

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    1. If we lived true, we should die the I same way, right? I hope my loved ones remember that after I'm gone. If not, they better start praying that the universe doesn't give me the ability to ghost around and pull toes ;-)

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  9. **hugs**Keeping a candle lit to lift you up.

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    1. Thanks so much Danni, I welcome the light. May your flame brighten my little brother's travels ;-)

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  10. Sending you a big hug! Your wishes, for when you pass, are beautiful ones ;o) Thinking of you! xoxox

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    1. I've been thinking of you a lot, too. And of crows...

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  11. Anonymous3/05/2013

    That is the Magaly I know!!!
    Ryan A. K

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    1. I don't change much. Like my favorite wise woman used to say, "[I] was born [myself]."

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  12. Yes, we all will keep on living, no matter if someone left this Earth again...Keep on dancing and keep on living.Sending love and blessings to you, dear!

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    1. As long as those who love us and still walking remember us true ;-)

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  13. It frustrates me that some people aren't taking the wants of the departed seriously enough. I can only imagine how you must be feeling at a time like this. I wish I could help.

    I would have expected nothing else for your last wishes. And, if that time comes and I'm still around for it.......I'll dance with my walker. ;)

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    1. I was mad at them at first, but you know what? I know what they are feeling. If I had things my way, I would celebrate my brother's life in a grove, surrounded by nature, asking the land to take him back and share his goodness with the universe, I would sing and dance his favorite songs, cook his favorite foods, I would even drink his favorite drinks even if (to make) they tasted horrible, I would celebrate who he was... but it is not about me. I know that eventually others will see the same. I'm just waiting for reality to smack them in the face, hopefully gently ;-)

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  14. sending you much love Mags thru this very difficult time....my heart is with you!

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    1. Thanks so much, my dear Tess.

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  15. Your will is as beautiful as you are. Truthful, direct, loving, nurturing and wild....just the way I would have imagined.
    Breathe, let this pass through you and move on. Much ado about nothing when it comes down to it. Concentrate on your feelings and healing yourself. Focus on your brothers warm heart still with you. much love, Oma Linda

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    1. I'm breathing. Today, I've even smiled. Yesterday I washed my brother's clothes, kept some with his scent, but cleaned the others who will go to those in need. I'm seeing the faces of those guys who will get one of his suits, imagining that they will use it for a job interview, maybe to get married (my brother had really good taste in clothes)... he will make people happy even after he is gone, so I'll smile ;-)

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  16. Is it wrong that I actually love your will? Big hugs and let me know if you need anything. I might actually be able to come down soon and we should meet for coffee or something. <3

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    1. I love it, too, so if you are wrong then so am I. And I'm an Aries, everybody knows I'm always right, and very modest, of course ;-)

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  17. I'm sorry that people are making a hard time even harder.

    I think your will is absolutely beautiful, by the way.

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    1. I've come to the conclusion that they can't help themselves right now. Not yet. I know they will... eventually. When the day comes, I will remind them just how silly they were. I'm sure we'll laugh about it ;-)

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  18. I love those wishes....dancing in celebration of the life you lived and becoming part of the Earth once more....my 2 favorite parts :)

    Hugs to you....

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    1. Mourning is good and necessary for many of us. We hurt when we can no longer touch those we love in a physical way, but celebrating the good life they led, I believe, will bring some comfort.

      Thanks for the hugs, I feel the warmth ;-)

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