Life with a Witchy Aries Is Not for the Fainthearted


“I haven’t dated in a long time. Now that I’m ready, I feel a little lost… When should I tell a prospective partner that I am a Witch?”

I got this email a few nights ago. My reply was somewhat vague: “Your question requires a very personalized answer. People have different personalities, different expectations, different needs… I, for instance, need a lot. What do you want from a partner? What do you need? I think you should answer those questions first. Then go from there.”

But there is more…

I have it as policy to let people know exactly what they are getting themselves into as soon as they meet me. This fact becomes extra important when speaking about friends, lovers, spouses, dance partners… just kidding about the last one ;-)

Any guy who has been on a first date with me would tell you that some of the first words that come out of my mouth are: I live my life in the open. The smell of cigarettes makes me sick to my stomach. I will always speak my mind. Sex is delicious and required. I’m a witchy woman. No, your love is not going to help me see the true (according to you) god.  

I have also said, “You must be on crack” (right after someone I was engaged to, suggested that “It would be best if we hid [my] lifestyle from [his] parents. They just wouldn’t understand.”) And I stopped seeing a guy who looked me in the eye, and told me, “I don’t have anything against homosexuals. But they should keep their relationships at home, and stop expecting to get the same rights as normal people.”

 I choose to be that frank from the very beginning because I figure that if they can survive ‘the interview’ then the actual ‘job’ won’t be as difficult. Take this as an example: the other day, a Wicked Darling asked, “When you Work/spell/what-have-you, do you do so in private? Does Jacob watch? What are his thoughts on his sexy witch and what she Does? Does he ever participate in energy raising for specific Work? And if those are all too personal, then I’ll kindly go take a hike.” Another Darling pointed out that “Not every girl will dare to post such pics of her man.”

This got a bit longer than I expected. But here it is anyway: all of the above, particularly my replies to Sarah’s questions and Anna’s picture comment (Jacob watches/participates if he wants and he is not shy, so I share what I like), are reasons why life with my witchy Aries self is not for the fainthearted. If my beliefs and behaviors bothered Jacob, then we probably wouldn’t be together. So… I believe that it is best to provide all the facts from the very beginning, but first, we must make sure that we can live with the truths we are about to share. And as always, by “we” I mean me… and you, too, if you want to ;-)

It is very difficult to be (happy) with a person without knowing (and finding a way to enjoy) all their faces.
Disclaimer: that tree is way over 18-years-old. The pole on the other hand... well, what happens in Vegas...

50 comments:

  1. I agree it's best (for me anyway) to just be myself and if they don't like who I am then they wasn't meant to be with me.

    I got lucky though because I found my man early in life and he taught me about Wicca and other "alternative" religions. I never had to face dating a stranger so I guess I can understand if you kept that part of your life secret for a short time. But eventually they need to find out, and it's easier for it to be sooner rather than later so high emotions are not invested in their answer.

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    1. I've never been in a relationship with another Witch, not even a Pagan guy... hm, that would be quite interesting. Must clone myself lol

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    2. I must admit in the beginning I was a bit jealous and overshadowed by his witchiness. But with time came more knowledge and I overcame those feelings.

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    3. This remind me of a scene in Ever After: A Cinderella Story. When Prince Henry said to Danielle, "In all my years of study, not one tutor ever demonstrated the passion you have shown me in the last two days. You have more conviction in one memory than I have... in my entire being."

      There is something witchiness gives to people that can't be quite explained.

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  2. You must have also have Scorpio and Leo in your chart, Magaly! You have the heart of a lion and the healthy interest in sex of a Scorpio. :D Anyway, this is good solid advice!

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    1. Jacob is a Scorpio, now I need to find out if I have a Scorpio and a Leo in my chart because I have no idea. Aw... "a lion and the healthy interest in sex," I like it.

      I do hope the advice was solid and solidly taken. Dating after many years of being in a relationship is a hard thing.

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  3. you cant be anything other than you, nor should you be, if your faking it your eventually going to be found out !!!

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    1. No one can hide the sun behind a finger. Cliché, but true ;-)

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  4. My Witchiness is usually the first thing I tell people about. If they can't handle it then I couldn't be with them. I refuse to be anything other than myself... I usually find most people are accepting but when it comes to their families, they keep things in the dark. I had to hide my Paganism from my in laws and it drove me insane. I'll never do that again lol

    You're a true Wild Woman, Magaly. And you are magnificent =)

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    1. The idea of hiding who I am from people who are supposed to be family makes me shiver a little. You are a strong woman, my Autumn.

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  5. Why feel like you have to censor yourself when you are supposed to be in an accepting, supportive relationship!

    You rock :)

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    1. A relationship that is not accepting and supporting is not worth having. But those are just my thoughts...

      You rock in colors ;-)

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  6. So few get past the introductory-equal-rights-for-all-don't-fuck-with-my-cats-come-over-univited-if-you-want-but-don't-expect-me-to-stop-what-i'm-doing, that witchcraft rarely comes up. If I think that spirituality/religion has a good chance of coming up in discussion, then I will have already invested a thorough background check (totally serious about this...have no time for 'statutory rape' with grandchildren around, no harming animals, no history of conning, battery, etc.).

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    1. I don't understand why some people come into a relationship (or try) thinking that what they think is righter than everyone else's. Poor bastards, hope the door doesn't brake their backs while they crawl out ;-)

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  7. I adore the collage of you...and for some reason you look happiest upside down ;)

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    1. I am, indeed, happiest while standing where and how I choose. Upside down is fun ;-)

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  8. Love you! And you are definitely a happy upside down person =]

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    1. You are loved right back. And upside down is good ;-)

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  9. Having grown up in the shadows and struggled to find a voice in this world, you always stand as a beacon of inspiration ~ thanks!
    ♥Sharon

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    1. I think you just made me smile like a beacon. I'm glad, for both of us ;-)

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  10. Magaly,I'm so honored to be feature din your blog :)hehe:)
    Yes, not every girl will do what another girl does. Because we all have our own ways and vision of the world.So I think it's absolutely normal not to copy someone but build your life according to your expectations and dreams.
    You are very brave and strong,and at the same time sensitive and understanding. So just be who you are :)

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    1. I like repeating good words, especially when they are said by "strong... sensitive and understanding" people ;-)

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  11. Im in your face about my path, Im out at all times. If people cant deal with it that is their problem not mine. I did a spell to call upon my soul mate, so when he was brought to me, he was already a practitioner of an alternative religion on a similar path. Dating is definitely challenging, but its always best to know right off the bat if they are okay with it before your feelings get involved. Also, there is a difference in saying your okay with it and then living within someone who is a daily practitioner. Best of luck in your dating journey.

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    1. I'm in your face about everything, so why make an exception, right? I'm respectful of others' beliefs, so I tell them about mine; that way, I can give them the same chance ;-)

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    2. I missed the part of you being an Aries, me too. I guess that is why we are up front and in your face about everything. Wish you the best of luck in your search.

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    3. I'm not really searching, a friend is. She went on a few dates and is all giggly. I guess all is good ;-)

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  12. Your writing has been flowing very well, Magaly... Oh friends. Just the other day, a friend asked me and my three children under 6 out to lunch in the moment. Looking back, I learn I can say "no" and should more often. I said, "yes." While at lunch, she took the time to tell me everything that has gone wrong in her life, which she chose not to tell me during her months of not talking to me. (Of course, right?) As, I sat there I told her a few times, "I don't know what to say." I didn't, nor didn't want to know. What she was going through was her own lesson to learn, I had no clue what that lesson was. A few blips I could manage out, was "life isn't fair," and something (from the bible of course) about foolish and wise builders, oh and also about how I am choosing compassion over grief. Her story was so long and full of dark detail, it was difficult for me to believe her, from my end. I didn't know if she was trying to give me a lesson or just describe her life. All in all, I learned I can say "no" and I can forget what someone has said to me. I can love my friends at the same time as let what they have said or been through, just go. I don't have to hold on to their pain, as surely I don't want them to hold onto the pain as well. Thanks for sharing your story. Happy New Year!

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    1. Well, you wrote about friends in a previous post, but you get the point. :) :) :) Happy dating, too. :) Be safe. Have fun!

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    2. But wait you are in a long term relationship and just replying to someone's question. And wow, I've left a comment chain.

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    3. Comment to your heart's content. I wrote this post very quickly (it wasn't even supposed to be a post) so it might be a bit confusing.

      Learning to say no, is a huge accomplishment. I'm not always very good at it ;-)

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  13. This is so weird! Just yesterday i was considering writing a post about being out of the closet. This was the only option for me. I could never hide something so important about me, or lie about it. And i could never be with someone that not only accepts that but also likes it about me. It is my view of life how could it be any different?
    Of course it has been difficult at times(in Greece 99,9999% of people are orthodox christians) especially lately when it comes to baptising my child, everybody think i should and it is kind of hard not to punch people when they tell you how to live your life! I have n't yet punched anyone, or kicked, or kneed.. so it 's all good!

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    1. Nothing makes me pricklier than inducting children into something they have no way of understanding or accepting (or not). I'm all about blessings and praying for them, but pushing them into a religion... that is just not right.

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    2. P.S. I'm glad there have been no kneeing. I would hate for you to hurt yourself or the little goddess in your tummy. If you need to, just throw rocks at them ;-)

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  14. I adore who you are because, it's who you are. I really don't know very many people I can say that about. Oh I know them but I don't Know them because of "whatever they need to secure" their position in life. But with you, I know you are authentic. Fabulous, wild and Magaly. Oma Linda

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    1. It seems we adore each other for the same reasons. It is no accident that every time I need honest and caring words, I get a hold of you. I appreciate and admire the honesty of your nature, my Oma Linda ;-)

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  15. I usually wait until it comes up - I didn't hide it from Richard that I am stark raving mad, but I didnt hit him over the head with it. In fact, I do not even know when I first told him... and figuring that we met online, chances are he read something along the lines before we ever met in person. ^^

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    1. I bet the "stark raving mad" was the bit that made him fall madly in love ;-)

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  16. I don't bring it up right away either. Not that I'm dating, but even when I meet new people I don't bring it up. I don't normally discuss, religion or politics. When the time comes up then I discuss my lifestyle in a general way.

    The part about in-laws is tricky and just because a partner accepts your way of life doesn't in any way mean the extended family will. Most times they don't, and that's fine so long as they don't interfere in our relationship or try to change me in any way.

    The thing to keep in mind besides our right to live as we want to, is that you're in a relationship and how the extended family feels affects your partner too. He/She might feel terrible that his family isn't accepting. So it's tough on the both of you.

    By the way Magaly, I'm glad you said the tree was 18, although as a mom I feel that 18 is still a teenager. I hope you were a gentlelady with the tree and respected her for her mind.

    Now as for the pole, you stay away from those nasty poles! You never know what you're going to catch from them. Although, you did mention Vegas and it's legal there, which means that the poles have health coverage. Anyway, I hope you used protection. :)

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    1. This might sound harsh, but I will say it anyway: I would never share my time, bed or heart with a weak man. I would never go to the house of my partner's family and start chanting and singing about witchery (unless they are into that, of course) but I would not hide who am I for their (or anyone's) benefit. They can dislike what and who I am, and that is their choice. If their thinking is that limited, I wouldn't care for their presence in my life. And if my partner doesn't have the heart, gut and wisdom to deal with his family, then we have no chance--I can't love a man I don't respect first. But you are right, it is a tricky thing.

      And that tree is at least 50 years old. And huge. The pole told me he was in Vegas to pay for college ;-D

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    2. I love it! I couldn't wait for you to tell me about the pole. he he

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    3. I was so excited about the pole comment that I forgot to say:

      Your first explanation is the reason why I'm divorced. I don't think he gets it or will ever understand it. He's still single and living with his momma.

      However, I never made him choose. I just wanted protection. I wanted him to accept me as I was. His momma was so much in our life (and so domineering) that it was as if she was my husband instead of him. The ex has a heart of gold but no backbone.

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    4. I'm glad my pole explanation soothed your motherly heart ;-)

      To make a person choose between a partner and, well, anyone one is a mistake. It is all about having support (protection like you said), but if they are not willing to do that... the lack of a spine will make them fall after a while.

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  17. You are a strong, beautiful, fun, wise and honest woman! I love you for that ;o)

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    1. Keep on talking to me like that and my head will grow to big for Illinois ;-)

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  18. I love being out as a witch. I find that it has made me happier. My husband knows and told me that it was about time that I came out as my true self. He loves me even though we believe in different things. He is open mined so when we talk about religion he gets my side. There are times I use my witchy ways to let him know what to do and not. SO its a great marriage. Besides he loves Dragons. :) So thats a BIG plus.

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    1. Understanding (or willingness to understand) makes for great relationships. Thank goodness for those who choose to live with their eyes (and hearts) open ;-)

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  19. I too am an Aries witch and I love my life!

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  20. You tell them witchy Aries sister! You are fire and magic, what's not to love? ;-)

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  21. I'm totally NOT commenting on the pole. You know why. It's that old adage about the pot and kettle. ;) I do have to say that if I were ever thrown into the world of dating again, I would have to decline. Frankly, I'm far too old and set in my ways to ever hide to who I am from a prospective date. If they're afraid of my darker side, and even the lighter one when it comes to this stuff, then so be it. I don't have time or the energy to ever play at that again. I don't know if I can actually call myself a witch anymore. I do, but I don't know if I should. That being said, I just can't tolerate intolerance anymore. Da Scorpio Witch is tired of da gamez. I lucked out with my husband and if anything were to happen to him, I've already accepted the fact that I'm done. It would be time to be a "Crone on her own". And, I'm only about 8 years away from Croning, if we're keeping track. ;)

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    1. Dating is terrifying (and exciting) at any age... but I guess that once we've lived more, loved longer, and had a few relationships... the idea of starting another can be quite scary.

      *I'm grinning at pole thoughts*

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