“I haven’t dated in a long time. Now that I’m ready, I feel a little lost… When should I tell a prospective partner that I am a Witch?”
I got this email a few nights ago. My reply was somewhat vague: “Your question requires a very personalized answer. People have different personalities, different expectations, different needs… I, for instance, need a lot. What do you want from a partner? What do you need? I think you should answer those questions first. Then go from there.”
But there is more…
I have it as policy to let people know exactly what they are getting themselves into as soon as they meet me. This fact becomes extra important when speaking about friends, lovers, spouses, dance partners… just kidding about the last one ;-)
Any guy who has been on a first date with me would tell you that some of the first words that come out of my mouth are: I live my life in the open. The smell of cigarettes makes me sick to my stomach. I will always speak my mind. Sex is delicious and required. I’m a witchy woman. No, your love is not going to help me see the true (according to you) god.
I have also said, “You must be on crack” (right after someone I was engaged to, suggested that “It would be best if we hid [my] lifestyle from [his] parents. They just wouldn’t understand.”) And I stopped seeing a guy who looked me in the eye, and told me, “I don’t have anything against homosexuals. But they should keep their relationships at home, and stop expecting to get the same rights as normal people.”
I choose to be that frank from the very beginning because I figure that if they can survive ‘the interview’ then the actual ‘job’ won’t be as difficult. Take this as an example: the other day, a Wicked Darling asked, “When you Work/spell/what-have-you, do you do so in private? Does Jacob watch? What are his thoughts on his sexy witch and what she Does? Does he ever participate in energy raising for specific Work? And if those are all too personal, then I’ll kindly go take a hike.” Another Darling pointed out that “Not every girl will dare to post such pics of her man.”
This got a bit longer than I expected. But here it is anyway: all of the above, particularly my replies to Sarah’s questions and Anna’s picture comment (Jacob watches/participates if he wants and he is not shy, so I share what I like), are reasons why life with my witchy Aries self is not for the fainthearted. If my beliefs and behaviors bothered Jacob, then we probably wouldn’t be together. So… I believe that it is best to provide all the facts from the very beginning, but first, we must make sure that we can live with the truths we are about to share. And as always, by “we” I mean me… and you, too, if you want to ;-)
It is very difficult to be (happy) with a person without knowing (and finding a way to enjoy) all their faces.
Disclaimer: that tree is way over 18-years-old. The pole on the other hand... well, what happens in Vegas...