If Jesus Had a Facebook Account, He Would Probably Block You Too


Some people REALLY need Jesus. No, I’m not talking about individuals who are happy and fulfilled being part of a different spiritual path or those who choose to have none, I’m referring to persons who claim to be devout followers of the Christian Savior, but act like insufferable ungracious asses.

Let me start at the beginning… yesterday, I opened my email to: “Merry Christmas (stick relationship here) I will pray for you on the birth of our Lord. He teaches his children to love everyone, especially those who live in the darkness because they don’t know no better.” 

I thought, Don’t say anything, Magaly, some things are better left alone. And I wasn’t going to say a thing, my Wicked Luvs… Then I got a string of “He’s the reason for the season,” and “There is no Christmas without Christ in it” and—my personal favorite—“The sun is just a rock, Jesus is life. Merry Christmas!”

After replying, “Actually, the sun is plasma, not a rock; hydrogen and helium if you want to get more specific. And without that glorious ball of celestial fire, you wouldn’t be able to run your trap so ignorantly or love your bastardized understanding of Jesus.”

She didn’t respond to my last message, but after I posted, My Winter Solstice Was Merry, May Your Christmas Be Just as Gay, she felt the need to tell me that “Christ is just GOD, not my ‘sun god,’ in case you didn’t know.” I replied, “I pity the fool... not!” and blocked her.

Yet, she is a pest-sistent one, so she went ahead and used her husband’s mom’s Facebook account to write a message too long to share here, but that focused on how my action (blocking her) showed that I was “deaf, dumb and lost and would never find Jesus.” I didn’t reply. But I’m sure she’ll read this—she seems to find my words very interesting—so to you, my not so dearest, I will say that if Jesus had a Facebook account, he would probably block you, too. Amén.

Oh joy! Can you feel the holiday sneer?

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58 comments:

  1. ...and does her mother in law know she scammed her account? If so, you may want to block her too. Well blocked :D XXX

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    1. That is the worst part, Gina. Her mother in law is a preacher. A great woman. One of those who makes you say, "If Jesus was around, she would be his people." She and I used to do outreach together (gave out condoms and encouraged people at risk to get tested for HIV. Anyhoo, the idiot woman used her mother in law's church account. I called the MIL, and she was beyond mad. And then she was crying because the email was sent while her daughter in law was supposed to be sending Christmas emails on her behalf. Some people are just worthless.

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    2. Not only a bitch, but extremely disrespectful as well. I hope that her MIL & husband let her have it. As for finding Jesus...I found Him & we parted on amicable terms. Ha!

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    3. I think her poor husband has been trying to find a hole to bury his head for quite some time. I'm not the only one she does this to, and it's not reserved for Witches only--her idiocy doesn't discriminate.

      Ditto on the bit about Jesus.

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    4. I just started following your blog and this post came up in my news feed. I've dealt with similar encounters and I know how painful it can be to deal with people's ignorance and arrogance. So i just wanted to say...I am so sorry that you received such a demeaning message, I am sorry that on that day you had to endure such unkindness, so I send you love and respect. On that note I will wish you and anyone else reading this a beautiful new year! <3

      http://discoverynoveltyempathy.blogspot.com/

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  2. OMG, that was so funny! We can't stand all the godliness of the holidays either, but Sweden doesn't even get close to the fanaticism that exists in the States.
    This also reminds me of a reply I got to a letter I sent 11 years ago, after 9/11, to an American New Jersey family that I had gotten to know. I wrote to express my horror and ask if they were all alright. They answered back something along the lines of: "This really shows us all who believes in the right God."

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    1. I want to puke every time people blamed a god for the goodness (or nastiness of men). Seriously, reach down, grab a pair and assume some responsibilities. Then let other people live their lives and that might leave you with more time to live yours happily.

      And yes, she made me laugh a little. I nearly choked on the bit about the sun being a rock, or Jesus not being a sun god.

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  3. Too bad you didn't tell her that Jesus is not the first, not even the second, dead and risen god. Her head would probable explode. Or I suppose you could refer to the Trinity as the christian pantheon. I really don't like the holier than thou types that want to bring you to the light by threatening you with eternal damnation and the lake of fire. She'll figure it out when she dies.

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    1. I just grinned and Jacob asked, "Who is going to bleed?" lol I was just thinking about a few faces when I say "The Christian Pantheon." Ellen, you are so right.

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  4. Ok, so I really am sorry you had to deal with this crap. That said, I just laughed out loud. Hilarious. Thanks for sharing. And, I feel for the MIL, too - she got put in a bad position by that other person's complete lack of ethics. Bah humbug, I say!

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    1. Don't be. She gave me a good chuckle, that's all. I feel sorry for her mother in law, no one should have to share their days with such stupidity, but you know how that goes. Bah humbug, indeed ;-)

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  5. She should realize that you had found Jesus and found him lacking...other paths mean more...

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    1. Jesus and I understand that he and I were not made for each other. I've said more than once, "It's not you, it's some of the company you keep."

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  6. It always amazes me that people like this woman think they are 'true' christians. I was raised a Catholic (found that extremely lacking and dumped it), but I don't remember Jesus saying anything about it being all right to persecute, harrass and annoy non-christians. That woman is a self-righteous ... well, I'll stop there. I'm glad you blocked her, Magaly, no one needs to put up with that kind of behavior.

    Blessings,

    Victoria

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    1. I guess we all (by we I mean different paths, beliefs, clubs...) have our crazies. It just seems that decent Christians are cursed with crazies as the majority. Or maybe I'm always running into the insane ones, who knows.

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  7. Don't you just love those annoying people during the holidays?

    I have a relative who has come close to getting blocked by me due to religious disagreements. Or rather, because she disapproves of our religious differences. I do wonder if she blocked me though, because she stopped commenting on my stuff a while ago...not that I'm complaining. :)

    It looks like you handled this person with a sense of humor. I love your response about what the sun actually is!

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    1. My brother (and most of my family on my father side) and I don't share beliefs, we tend to leave each other alone. And when something comes up, we try (really hard) to keep things civil... they have learned to accept that I need no saving, and witchery is not a path that cares about recruiting, so I step around happily.

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  8. I noticed the last couple of years about the holidays that the people get on their religious high donkey and get bent out of shape because others don't or won't believe in what they do. And the if you don't they boy they will tell you where your going. (Or where they think you should go.) Magaly You know I adore you and love how you put others in place when need be. Yes this woman went out of her way to harass & attack you just because you didn't agree in her veiws when its CLEARLY known that your not Christian. CLEARLY she doesn't know what a Christian or their God means. She said it herself "He teaches his children to love everyone." He would and should be ashamed on his own people taking it farther to outcase others. To pure HATE. She needs to clearly quit listening to others veiws and hate around her and look in heart where God (& the Goddess) lives in all of us. Then she will understand what true love, undertanding & respect is.

    What got me more than anything is. She went and used someone elses account. A religious teacher/preacher person AND a family memeber too. To attack you even more. And that person didn't know and respect you. Thant is not love to anyone even to a person that preaches the word of her own God.

    All I can say is she needs to really need to take a step back and really look how her actions hurt her and her so called beliefs. Also need to look at more than one book that other people have changed words and took things out (Threw out the centuries) for their person gains in the name of Jesus Christ. I can say with our beifs its been proven by history and science our way has some proof why things are.

    And she really needs to look into things she calls Christian really came from. She might find it quit interesting (or unnerving) on how much her "true religion" stole from the other religions they don't say is not true or right.

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    1. I think some people use labels (or religions) to be self-righteously nasty. They keep on contradicting themselves and soiling the teachings of their own god. I'm always waiting for the day when they "see the light." Not because I care much (live and let live, right), but I want to see the look on their faces ;-)

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  9. He would be deleting many a Christians if he was on FB.

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    1. I think he would be very, very, very sad.

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  10. You're such a treat ~ I enjoyed sharing this with my visiting son and his family!
    ♥Sharon

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    1. I hope they had a good laugh, gods know I did. And felt a bit bad about her, too.

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  11. Hi, Magaly!Hope you are having nice holidays anyway:)
    One thing I understood in such situations - let it go! And also, I think that forcing on someone their views, their beliefs never works for the favor of the person's better understanding of it.
    Just enjoy your days, wherever you feel good and comfortable:) Happy New Year in advance! Anna

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    1. I pay no mind to it. Most of the time I just shake my head and cackle a little.

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  12. What a sad, strange woman....I feel for the family that she misuses and embarasses...

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    1. I feel bad for her mother in law, too. She has send me several emails after the incident and called me twice. I've been telling her not to worry that I've known this individual for a long time and she has always been a bit of a nutcase. I feel bad about the fact that she is the mother of her grandchild *sigh*

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  13. Unfortunately most of these kinds of Christians are loud and obnoxious!! And there are so many running around!!
    They would probably be the first to abandoned ship if persecuted. Sigh!!
    Sorry!!
    Hugging you
    SueAnn

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    1. When they run their crazy mouths, I think of you and Francie and a few other lovelies, and remind myself that the good is more gracious than the bad ;-)

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  14. So...everyone else already said what I was going to say, so um...Ditto. :-) In my day-to-day life I strive to be more like Magaly. Really. When people attack me, my first thought is...are they justified? My second thought is...what would Magaly do? LOL...since I can't chop them up and feed them to ravenous zombies I usually settle for good ole dripping sweet southern sarcasm. I'd forgotten that 10 years ago I knew how to be a "bitch", but here lately it seems a lot more necessary. Where are all these damn crazies coming from?! Are they working overtime at the Fundamentalist Factory to produce extra A-holes? Has there been a strike at the Crazy Containment Club? Happy Everything to everyone, except for the harassing account hacker. To her: suck it!

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    1. Er...I suppose the last part may have been unnecessary. Sorry annoying person.

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    2. You've made me laugh and grin (which looks really weird, by the way). And, I wouldn't feel too bad about telling her "to suck it." Maybe it would give her more pleasurable things to think about *tee hee*

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  15. Isn't it funny that Jesus sat down with everybody. He welcomed women, diseased people, criminals and just about every scuzzy person he came actoss to his table and talked to them about love. And yet, some people who think they know Him insist on doing the opposite. And all in His name!! jeesh!

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    1. Jesus saved those who needed saving. Today, many of those who follow him seem to be trying to save some in order to feel more comfortable with the future of their own salvation.

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  16. Toward end of each month I like to adventure out and visit some different blogs then my unusual coffee pals. I came over from “The Secret Life of the American Working Witch”...I found your title to your blog interesting...I haven't yet felt the need to block either on my blog or social net work...but I've had one unfriend me because of my political believes.
    Personal I like a variety of people it simple it widen my world...yes Francie M is right Jesus did what she said...but then what those are brain wash that if we don't claim that Jesus is are savior we heading to hell and we still can be the biggest jerk that walk on the face of this earth.
    Enough said hope you fine a few minute and stop in the a cup coffee...I was here around Samhain time.

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    1. Some people are just a tad insane. Too drunk in their own corrupt understanding of goodness and grace to know what's right or wrong. They'll figure it out.

      Glad you stopped by our Circle ;-)

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  17. Christianity is so incredibly lacking, as far as the religious part of it goes. The churches feel empty of Spirit and instead full of pig-headed, bigoted, self-righteous morons. None of these people even FOLLOW the true teachings of Jesus. They read what they want to read, hear what they want to hear, and then they plug their ears and scream "LA LA LA LA" at everything else. Ridiculous.

    And this is being said by a Christian-Pagan.

    ANYWAY, sorry you had to deal with such a jerk!! What a pest!

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    1. Some Christian practices have become something that has little to do with Jesus. It's quite sad,maybe it will change... I guess Christian-Paganism is a sign of that.

      You know, one of these days, you must tell me how you've reconcile the two.

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  18. Good for you Magaly! Can't we all just get along???? Big Hugs ;o)

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    1. Only if you bring your pretty had to dance around the bonfire ;-)

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  19. I think you handled the whole thing beautifully. Though it's unfortunate you had to. I hope she eventually wakes up and wises up.

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    1. We can only hope. For her child's sake. I can only imagine how embarrassing something like this must be to a teenager.

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  20. I've got no issue with real Christians. But I'm starting to think being an ass is just a part of the human condition. Every religion, no matter how loving it may be has it's share of jerks. I have to admit, though, those Christian zealots bug me the most. But maybe that's just because there are so many of them right here in our own back yards.

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    1. I think that the fact that Christianity is a religion that mandates its follower to be active in the salvation of everyone and their mama also contributes with the overall harassment. Some people just go a bit too far.

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    2. That is a VERY good point, you are supposed to "spread the word" with all you have. Uggg, even that's not so annoying if you accept my "no thank you."

      I had a couple young men from the Church of Latter Day Saints stop by when Ivan was an infant. They sat and talked to me, and what's more is they listened to me. They weren't at all pushy and when we were wrapping up they offered to help me, as they could see I had my hands full with a newborn and a toddler. Even that I can take. But get pushy, and we are going to have a problem.

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    3. I don't mind people from any belief system who invite me in. I decline politely, and many times we have nice discussions. Like you, the pushy ones are the one who get on my nerves.

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  21. uh...too bad...that's the problem with these, umm, organized religions. they seem to create too many closed minded...obnoxious...fanatical...prejudiced...jerks...

    oh well...happy new year! =)

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    1. Particularly if the mind wasn't all that developed to begin with.

      Happy New Year to you, too, again ;-)

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  22. Eeew, that's the kind of nasty thing one really doesn't need at holiday seasons, but will always come, no matter what you do.

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    1. Indeed. I'm always hoping for it to get better, but it seems that time has just been making certain people more forgetful of boundaries and respect for others.

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  23. Sometimes it pays to have a small blog. So far I haven't received hate mail. I'm sure eventually I will. But that is the nature of writing isn't it? Sorry you had to be pestered by such an un-Christian like woman. She gives all the good Christians a bad name.

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    1. This kind of stuff doesn't really bother me anymore. As sad as it is, I've come to expect it, and most of the time treat it with humor which I hope annoys the crap out of the ones silly enough to not think before they speak. And triple yes on this kind of behavior giving good people a bad name.

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  24. Everyone said pretty much what I would say LOL, I have a friend who will not even discuss my beliefs with me, if we even get close to that kind of discussion she immediately changes the subject, of course she only talks about Jesus at Christmas. I tend to believe that we all find comfort in and work with the aspect of Deity that we need but lately I have been wondering what kind of person needs to relate to a religious group that believes treating people poorly is justified?? I'm not saying Christians believe that, but some of them certainly twist their faith so that they feel justified treating people like crap :/ You rock Magaly!! Happy New Year

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    1. We all have one or (six) friends like that. Sometimes I wonder why we keep them *sigh* I also wonder if they understand what they are doing to themselves and the friendship. It seems that their salvation efforts are the shortest path to damnation.

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  25. Ah, the classic. Jesus loves you unless I don't. Yes, well, we all know how the Christian God loves him some hypocrisy. This is why I write about assassins and people being stabbed so much. It's cheaper than therapy. I'd offer a few more token snide remarks, but they would just be for my own amusement. It's my belief we're all on this big ball of helium together and no matter what you believe, no one gets to say they know. If you know, you don't need Faith. If you're certain, you can't ask questions. It's just religion without the Hope. I've a similar friend and what I always say is this..."Why does being a Christian make you so angry all the time?" But it's fun to poke them, I agree. I'm jealous you found a Mr. T greeting card. So jealous I can't express it in words, so I wont. See you in the Study for Tea, Magaly. Keep paddling.

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    1. Let's just be glad that is not everyone... If that was the case, well, I don't even want to imagine what would happen.

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