Oh Yes, He Is that Thick


“Have you ever tasted dew from a flower?” I told him. “It’s sweet. Not too late, but early in the morning. Dew tends to taste different after the sun has been out for a while…”

This quote has nothing to do with this post. But it was so deliciously cheesy that I had to share it, so that you, too, could have a laugh. I uttered those exact lines as Jacob and I drove to the hardware store to get filters for our furnace. He was pointing out the fact that we hadn’t been drinking enough water, and I, of course, wanted to create excuses for my hatred of the tasteless (but vital) liquid. My latest pretext? No water tastes as yummy as the rainwater that blessed my mouth, and the Dominican Republic soil, when I was a child.

Anyhoo, today’s post is not as sweet as Caribbean flower dew, but I think you might still enjoy the taste of the word-droplets ;-) So… have you ever found yourself wishing that others (primarily those who you care about) could just accept your ways, trust your judgment, and let you be?

Dreams, dreams…

Yesterday, one of my oldest friends called his sister and asked her to have a talk with me. He told her that I was “going through some kind of life crisis,” and probably needed more than one person to point out the error of my ways and nudge me towards the right direction—he has done quite a bit of nudging these last couple of months.

Everything started about six months ago when I rejected a job offer. The pay was, well… a lot. I said no because the company sells products and opinions I don’t care for. Oh, and one of their “requirements” (which, by the way, only applied to dearie witchy me) said that I had to “do something about [my] blog” and maybe “be less vocal about [my] spiritual beliefs as [my] views might make some of [the company’s] benefactors uncomfortable.”  Can you really know me for more than 13 minutes and wonder why I didn’t take the job?

My friend’s oh-my!-Magaly-is-going-through-a-life-crisis feelings seem to have increased after he found out that Jacob and I will be upcycling, junking, thrifting, and pretty much trying our best to restore our home without buying anything new. Even typing this post sends me over the moon with happiness. Thinking about the process makes me smile… but it made my friend think that we were doing it just because we don’t have any money to spend. And we don’t have a lot of money. Just enough to get by and be as happy as we like ;-)

However, our upcycling dream involves a lot more than just saving money. Here are the first 13 reasons I can think of, in no particular order:
     1. Jacob and I like the idea of reducing the waste littering the Earth Mother
     2. Turning “garbage” into greatness is freaking awesome
     3. We want to see each other’s touch all over our home
     4. I love hammers, sharp things, and a tall boy who recycles well
     5. Jacob can do just about anything with the right tool
     6. He looks delicious holding a big hammer
     7. …and drilling things—with a drill, not a hammer ;-)
     8. Nothing will ever taste better than food shared on a table restored by our loving hands
     9. I can hardly wait to write the stories told by the things other people throw away
     10 I LOVE staring at my guy while he is all sweaty and working hard on something for me
     11. Jacob LOVES to watch me dance and sing as my OCD reorganizes and decorates our home
     12. We LOVE the idea of working for, and with, ourselves—more on this later ;-)
     13. Our spirits feed on the pleasure of spending time together; creating, laughing, making love
           whenever and wherever, and building dreams into realities we can touch, taste, love… and
           others can witness.

I explained these things to my friend’s sister. She was all giggles just hearing about it. She is so excited that she wants to give us something for the house. Several people have done that already (Soon, I will write about the things we’ve received these last few days: a lovely fridge, $500.13 to go towards a washer, some retro chairs, shelves from a public library…) the point is that most people get jovial when they hear about our plans, and want to be part of it. Because of the latter, I told my friend’s sister, “I’m pretty sure he just doesn’t understand what it is we are trying to do.”

She said, “He can’t be that thick, love.”

“Oh yes, honey,” I said, “you grew up with your brother, but I spent most of his adult life working with him. He is that thick when it comes to money and living grand.”

I feel bad for him; for I love my friend and it hurts to know that he can’t see—or enjoy—my happiness. But it doesn’t hurt for long. The truth is that these days, with Jacob by my side, nothing can hurt me for any significant amount of time.

I get to see this  from my backyard. Whats not to love?

47 comments:

  1. Absolutely everything you are doing is totally the right thing to do. The fact that you still feel compassion for your .....obviously distracted friend, shows what a good move you have made getting back with Jacob. I squeal inside with every titbit of information you share about your upcycling, and as for that job...no one could pay me enough to live with that kind of crap :D XXX

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    1. I’ve been trying to step in his shoes and pretend the he just did something which I would consider eccentric and see how I would react. This hasn’t worked very well because the truth is that I don’t care about what other people do. If it makes them happy and it not hurting anyone else, more power to everyone then. But I guess that one of the best things about this world is that we are sooo different from one another, right? Now, if most of us learn to embrace those differences instead of running for the woods every time something seems like too much, well maybe most of us would be happy. And ditto on the job. Never in my life. No even in someone else’s life.

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  2. Oo I love spending thrifty. ;) It's what I've had to do my entire life. You can find some great freebies with your local Freecycle as well. I'm sure with a little elbow grease you'll have your place in tip top shape soon enough. As for those nay sayers, I have the perfect mantra. "In one ear, out the other." *wink*

    Much love witchy darlin. Oh, and can't blame you for saying no to that job offer! I wouldn't have taken it either.

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    1. I’ve always loved thrift shops, antique shops, garage sales and things of the sort. It just says so much about people and their circumstances. I love looking at the faces of those who brighten because they’ve found treasure in someone else’s trash—sometimes the look comes straight from the mirror ;-)

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    2. My Dh works for Goodwill. yeah I have no self control when it comes to thrift shops. lol

      As far as treasures in someone elses trash, I've made it no secret that we were and still are poor. When I was a child we'd drive around construction sites and gather wood and nails thrown away. Then we'd take them home and make different crafts out of them. We made things from huge pieces of furniture to small things like jewelry boxes and kids puzzles.

      We'd take our creations and sell them in front of the local supermarket. We'd make $500 in one weekend and a lot of times that was our rent. Mostly this was done in winter when my mothers BF didn't have a lot of work. It's how we survived. I still had my jewelry box we made back then up until we moved to Ohio. It eventually fell completely apart. But it lasted quite a few ears!

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    3. You will love the table Jacob made from old library bookshelves. I can't wait to show it off. Some might think it's kind of silly, but the idea of making something new out of something that was destined to create more waste, just makes me happy and so proud of my Love ;-)

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  3. This blog post made me smile. Your happiness comes through & it infected me lol. I especially liked #6 & #7 XD XD

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    1. I hope the “happiness” infection is chronic ;-)

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  4. Wondering why this company wanted to hire someone they considered so unsuitable for their company. How sad for your friend to live with such a stunted view. Unlike yours, which, going by the photographs, is gorgeous! Looking at the photos of you/Jacob & Janani/Attila, I am struck by how your proportions to each other match.

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    1. I think the company is a bit confused about what they wants (I’ve chosen to believe that because they alternative pisses me off too much). This company is supposed to be formed by a diverse community of scholars who review/analyze books for several awards. They needed a reviewer with a background in religion, race, sociology and death and grieving. Part of their unwritten company “policies” have to do with having a person that represents all the different races, religions… minorities they nominate for awards. With me they would kind of hit the jackpot (religious and race minority, female, veteran, disabled…) it sounds too disgusting, so like I said, I prefer to think that they are just a bit confused.

      My friend, well… he is 30-something gay man who has never come out to his family and society. He prefers to think of “their sensibilities.” I understand him—if you love a society, it isn’t easy to be part of it knowing that it doesn’t particularly want you. So we all do what we have to do, right? And yes, Jacob and I and the babies, we make quite the family. And I love it ;-)

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  5. As an "Upcycling Addict" I am excited about your intentions to create Gorgeous stuff from garbage. It's a way of life down here. Keep dreaming and maybe someday our loved ones and friends will finally "get" us.

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    1. I’m praying for the same. Maybe one day they will get to see through our eyes and hearts and see how pretty the world can be when you waste little and use your imagination at lot. And have great sex while you are it lol

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  6. UPcycling, REusing, REcycling...creating something new from another's throwaways...is EXCITING!! and the fact that BOTH you & jacob have these same visions...dreams...is even better!!
    your happiness sure shines through every word you speak...uh, write! =)

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    1. oh, i almost forgot...what a magical view from your backyard!!

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    2. Oh, Laura, one of things I love most is the fact that we both are enchanted by the work ahead of us. I go giggle-crazy when I look at a particular spot in the house, and before I can say what I’m thinking Jacob tells me what he thinks we should do to it, and it just happens that it is exactly what I wanted. And the pride and pleasure I see in his eyes when he builds something for me, well… that’s only rivaled by the feelings that overtake my heart when I see his happiness while he makes me happy. Purrrfect ;-)

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    3. And wait until I share a picture of the sunrise from the side of the house, and then the sunset through my window and over the trees and the roof of a pretty church. Every time I see it I say, “Peaches and cream. Yum!”

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  7. I'm sure your friend's concern for you is genuine and that's the important thing. Hopefully his sister can help him understand why people can make different choices than he would, LOL!

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    1. I know he is and that’s the reason I don’t get too mad at him. I just wish that after a few decades of friendship he would already know that I am who I am and nothing can change that… without killing me a little.

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  8. Can i live in yoour back yard? You will never know i am there!

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    1. Any day, sister! But you might have to set some boundaries or the dogs will spend half the time trying to kiss you and show you just how loving they can be ;-)

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  9. OH, to be able to live freely and not sacrifice personal values and dreams for the sake of the almighty dollar is such an alien concept for those who can not think outside the box! I love what you and J are doing! Tone things down? Stupid micro managing control freaks! So happy you did not sell your soul to employers who are unable w to value you for the divine treasure threat is.you! <3

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    1. Stupid auto correct Ha! Treasure that is you!

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    2. The idea of living to work makes me sick and sad, too. It is the reason why I love writing (and the gods know that freelancing barely pays the bills). There is nothing better than seeing my words form ideas, and when I’m lucky building stories. I probably wouldn’t have done this on my own, not because I can’t but because without my Love it wouldn’t be as fun. It is hard work, but when we pass out at the end of the day, in each other’s arms, staring at the roof and discussing ideas of how to make it perfect for us, well… that can only be described as perfect ;-)

      And about the typo, it happens to me all the time. I stop rereading my comments and replies lol

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  10. Your backyard view is stunning! I can't wait to see what you and Jacob are doing! I do think your friend's concern was out of love. Take Care, Magaly ;o)

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    1. Everything around the wee town is lovely. By the way, the other day, we were taking the scenic view to the closest city—we needed nails—and as we drove through cornfields that have already been harvested we had to slow down because there were three crows standing in the middle of the road. I thought of you ;-)

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  11. ....and you'll have a home that doesn't look like a cookie-cut picture from a catalog! Love it! (and that sunset :D)

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    1. You don’t know the half of it. Wait until you see our front porch lol

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  12. Your place is going to be great put together with love and recycling...Nice sky photos...

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    1. I fall in love with that sky every morning and every evening, and my gods when the night is clear and full of stars… well, I just melt with happiness. And yes, love and recycling sound like awesome building materials.

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  13. Great to know that you go your way in spite of anything and anyone. It's your life, but I indeed don't get why we always have to remind this to people?
    Your up-cycling idea is also worth adoring, all the best and hope to see some pictures soon.
    The view with the Sun is magnificent...

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    1. I shall have some pics in a bit. I’m a bit behind on the blogging front—we worked really hard, cleaning, fixing and loving these last few days. I can’t wait to share ;-)

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  14. Pretty view!

    I love thrifting and such, unfortunately the BF is not that big a fan of used stuff. AND he is not that great making stuff. Did I ever tell the story of the shelf of horrors? It is ugly. And unpractical. And instable (he used too-small material to save money). And cost more than buying a new proper shelf because he did not know where to get cheap, proper wood. Ack, it's tough being him. He makes up for the lack of skill with enthusiasm. ^^

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    1. Poor BF, I just laughed without meaning to. I hope the fiasco didn’t hurt his feelings too much, particularly when his girlfriend is sooo crafty ;-)

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  15. Beautiful sky pics!!! Awesome!!
    And upcycling is fantastic!
    What' not to like
    Some people just love to be all up into your business...sigh!!
    Your plans sounds fun, exciting and fulfilling...all good things!
    Be well
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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    1. We are excited and then some. I think my friend is just too involved in believing that his way of living is the best way to live that he can’t see that it wouldn’t fit my needs. I’m hoping one of these days he’ll see my light, too. Until then, well, he’ll have to deal with it or move on. Not much I can do about it.

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  16. You sound so happy, Magaly. Jacob seems to be a ggod match for you, he difused some anger but not your spirit! I absolutely can't wait to see how this 'upcycled' house of yours develops/unfolds/grows and yes I too love your photos of your back yard.

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    1. “diffused some anger but not your spirit,” Francie, luv, you’ve just described one of the most important reasons behind my love for Jacob. He is a couple of handfuls, but my gods he makes me feel alive and full of fire without consuming me. We do the same for each other—a fact that have made some people uncomfortable, for when we are together, we tend to see the world through a haze. I can’t wait to share everything. I might burst if I have to hold all this happiness to myself ;-)

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  17. Some people think that money makes the world go round. Not many people understand why I chose to stay home, until they spend time with the boys. Even my mom has come around. There are more important things than having the newest, shiniest and most expensive thing. I can't way to see your stories too.

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    1. You know, my brother works really, really, really hard. So much so that he doesn’t get to spend too much time with his daughters. I’ve asked him why every now and then, and he tells me because he wants them to have a good life. My nieces look at him longingly when he is attached to the computer working for hours and hours, I wonder if one day he’ll understand that he is wasting the best years of that “good life” he wants to give them. I totally understand why you stay at home with your boys; I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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  18. Please tell me that you refused that job with two middle fingers in the air?! I certainly would have, too! I'd have said, "Oh, I'm sorry, when did you gather the notion that I give a rat's rump about the comfort levels of your benefactors?! I'm so sorry you got that idea. Rest assured, my care o meter is in the negative digits."

    I also enjoy trying not to junk up the Earth and reusing things.:P

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    1. My “middle finger in the air” refusal came in the shape of the biggest pentacle I was able to find and a long colorful dress that made me look like I just stepped out of a 60s witchy party. Seriously, LJ, you should have seen these people’s faces. The experience was delicious ;-)

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  19. You make me so happy when I read your posts.

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    1. You make me so happy when I read your posts.

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  20. Great pic's Ms Wickedness... Your friend is jut concerned for you, that's sweet, although it's not necessary, obviously they don't want you to be hurt in any way... t, you are the only one who is in the position to know that your actions and decisions are best for your happiness... Recycle, up cycle, I swear we have most our furniture made from driftwood, I have old wine bottles as water bottles, jars as glasses, bamboo from the garden as towel racks in the bathroom and rails on our steps but frag I covert a washing machine that works, and a tumble dryer for wet season LOL

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    1. Jacob is making me a toilet paper holder and a hand towel holder out of train track spikes. I can’t wait to show it off. And oh, my gods, Shelle, wait until you see the piece of driftwood he found. And the tree branch he made into a lamp, and so many other things…

      On the washing machine front, we need to buy one. So for a bit, our arms might be getting more exercise than usual ;-)

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  21. 't' well, that was supposed to be 'but' ... Mmmmm, oh yes, I forgot to say, happy thanksgiving... Knew there was something else ;)

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    1. ‘t’ or ‘but’ same difference lol. I had one of the best Thanksgiving in a long, long, long time. Jacob’s mom made delicious salmon and the best sweet potato bready yumminess. And my Love made me a table out of library bookshelves. Like I said, it was the BEST!

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