not so secretly suspected that Freud was a very intelligent
pervert who used his brains to blame all human faults on sexuality and violence. Yet, even the eclectic Jungian in me recognizes that Dr. Sigmund
Freud’s theories of psychoanalysis opened very useful windows into the subconscious,
and gave psychological names to behaviors that Witches have been practicing
even since the first cave-person told another, “Fire good and pretty. We dance
around under bright moon and be merry, sí, sí?”
(sí, sí as in “yes, yes” because it is well known that all cave-people
You are probably wondering where I’m going with this, huh? If you aren’t, just go ahead and lie to me and I’ll tell you about this “professional writer” fellow who emailed me the other day to offer his services. Here is the introduction to his message:
“Only an amateur addresses his audience in the first person. Want professional help? I will teach you all you need to know to become a professional writer and gain a loyal readership.”
Wow, was my first thought. This guy’s expertise managed to insult my skills and your loyalty, my Wicked Luvs. It seems that he has all the secrets to make my crappy blog professional and your loyalty less dubious. And he was not done mastering the art of shoving his foot in his pie-hole. He added a free example—yes, he emphasized the word “free”—of how he could improve Pagan Culture:
“All Hallow’s Eve should be All Hallows’ Eve as it describes the day before All Saints’ Day. This might seem small to you, but your Catholic readers might think you haven’t done your research. The holy day roots out of their belief system. Also, less enlightened individuals might find the phrase All Hallow’s Grim offensive.”
A lesser Witch would lose her cool let this guy have it. But I’m the Wicked Witch of Them All, so I let him really have it *muahahahaha* I began by sharing some of what he said on Facebook (no name, for there is no need to get nasty), and as it is to be expected, the wickedest of all my Darlings joined in my efforts to show this guy that we don’t only know the origins of the mythology of our own holidays, but we also add physics and psychology to our witchery. How you may ask? Well, easy, m’Luvs.
In psychoanalysis, catharsis is described as “the bringing of repressed ideas or experiences into consciousness, thus relieving tensions.” Fine, so we don’t quite repress our thoughts on how backwards certain people are, but by not getting angry at this individual’s insult and going even further to turn it into humor, we have taken what could have been a negative response and twisted it into something positive.
The bit about “twisting” brings me to how wise Witches have always been good physicists. We don’t forget that one of the most important things about energy is that it can be reshaped, redirected, contained, and that it can never be destroyed. So what do we do with negative energy-loaded words? We use our Nature given physics awareness and make the ugly into something beautiful, educational, and mildly hilarious. Laughter is food for the soul, you know? So, I’ve combined my knowledge of witchy physics and catharsis and turned this guy’s idiotic offer into a funny—yet informative—post.
I could have replied to him, and begin my email with Not So Dearest Imbecilic Uterus Turd… but I figured blocking spam
and making fun of the bastard would be more efficient. Actually, I wrote
the last sentence because I really wanted to use the phrase “uterus turd” in
context, after hearing it on a TV show a few weeks back. Yep, physics,
catharsis and creativity, and all in the first person. Voilà!
Because no self-respecting witchy scientist would seal a humorous spell without laughter.Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha…!!!
Speaking of science, meet my Rocked Science Bracelet, a gift from Sharon over at Plumrose Lane. Precious bright colors and eye-catching shapes; lucky me! Thanks a bunch ;-)