Multifarious Day 1
Brave, n. A hector, a man daring beyond discretion or decency.
(Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary, 1861)
Brave, the movie (Minor Spoilers)
|Image Credit: Pixar/Disney|
I’m usually both outraged and amused by the definitions I find in my 150-something year old dictionary. More than once, I’ve asked myself, “How did these people figure that one out?” The same thoughts crossed my mind while I was watching Brave. I’m telling you, my Wicked Darlings, whoever titled that movie might have been going for the bit about “daring beyond… decency;” at least when it comes to theme and plot.
I was extremely excited when I watched the first trailer. I might have screamed, “Yay archery and gutsy girls!” But you know what? Archery and guts don’t have a lot to do with the movie. The main theme revolves around mother-daughter relationships and the importance of duty. Wonderful conflicts, right? I would say yes, but don’t get too excited because the solutions to the trouble get lost in a world of ineffective metaphors, undeveloped characters, unidentified motivation and a storyline that goes nowhere.
The worst bit about the movie is what I expected to be the best part: the way the main character uses her archery skills. If like me, you read about the movie and watched trailers, you probably expected Merida’s bow and arrow to be significant for the entire movie. They aren’t. She does some cutesy things with her little weapon, but in the end in order to bring about the so called resolution, our heroine has to be a good little girl and patch her mistakes with needle, thread and a torrent of tears.
Celebrate Oz (July 19th)
I know Oma Linda’s party doesn’t start for three weeks, but I needed something yummy to remove the bad taste Brave left in my mouth. Here are some lines to put everyone in a special Oz kind of mood that can only be achieved through the words of the main character in Christopher Moore’s Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. He explains what he would be yearning for if he ever traveled the Yellow Brick Road:
“Oh, I would while away the hours,
Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song,
I’d be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie,
If I only had a schlong.”
I’m not sure what I would ask for if I ever visited The Wizard of Oz. Hm… I guess if I did it right after watching Brave, I would probably want children movies where evil witches had some kind of motivation, where their pet crows were deranged for an actual reason, where bravery meant courage and not random bratty behavior, where characters that are supposed to be intelligent and imaginative didn’t act like slow-witted sheep, and pretty much for films that didn’t perpetuate damaging stereotypes that do nothing but promote ignorance.
What would you ask of The Wizard of Oz, my Wicked Luvs?
P.S. Have you read “Crabapples”? If not, take a moment to do so, and to enter my latest giveaway ;-)