Be Glad Jesus Is Not His All-Smiting Daddy

I don’t know if it’s the summer heat or perhaps an airborne strain of shit-for-brains, but it seems that, lately, all kinds of stinky notions have oozed out of the minds of people I’ve known nearly all my life. First I’m Rotting in Pride, and now my heart is dark and unforgiving. Let me explain; a person who used to be one of my best friends, until her life choices sent us in opposite ways, has recently found Jesus—yes, poor Jesus is always getting lost.

The person in question contacted me through Facebook to give me the good news—she had been born again. I was quite excited for her. I felt that any belief system that took her focus away from the destructive behaviors she had been favoring when I last saw her, ten or eleven years ago, was a great blessing. But she didn’t message me to tell me how happy she was with her new life; she wanted to lecture me about forgiveness.

According to her, I couldn’t forgive certain someone’s actions because my “heart is dark and being consumed by the ills of Witchcraft.”

“Actually, I forgave her a long time ago. You don’t see me beating her senseless, do you?” I said. “I refuse to let her back into my life because I don’t enjoy being lied to, stolen from, or simply being made to look like a fool.”  

“If you knew the word,” said the Jesus finder, “If you had the lord in your heart, you would see that forgetting past wrongs and forgiving the wrongdoers makes you a better person. It erases evils and reserves you a place in heaven.”

“I know many words, dear,” I was getting annoyed, “And most of them say that there are too many great people who will better my life and enrich my mind without backstabbing me in the process, so there is no use in wasting my time with worthless individuals who drive me insane.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. That is Satan talking through your lips,” she said.

My Wicked Luvs, the only thing that enrages me more than someone suggesting that they know my mind better than I do, is when that someone is a hypocrite. So yes, I let her have it. “Listen, I thought it would be nice talking to you after all these years. In fact, I was so excited when I read your message on Facebook that I have contacted some of our old friends just to reminisce. Remember that guy who used to play handball with us?” I said, acting as if I was just making conversation. “I would have never thought that he would become a preacher.”

She didn’t speak for a while, then she said, “Magaly, everybody makes mistakes, but I’m Christian now. I will try to do good even if I don’t have answers for my own complications.”

“Why don’t we leave the creepy cryptic talk to TV spies, my dear?” Yes, I was mad. “Sleeping with your preacher, a man who happens to be married to a friend of yours and who has fathered enough kids to populate a small country, is not a complication; It’s immoral, nasty, and the last time I checked, it was also criminal. I’m a Witch; I say live and let live, particularly when I don’t have the whole story. However, when you try to use the teachings of a guy who told his followers to ‘treat their neighbors like they wanted to be treated,’ and you turn around and bed your neighbor’s husband, then I get pissed at you.”

“You don’t know the details,” the Jesus finder said in a small voice. “His wife is horrible to him. He’s going to leave her to be with me.”

I almost felt sorry for her, but not enough to hold my tongue. “If you think that justifies the lying and the sneaking around, more power to you. Jesus is very a forgiving guy. I guess you should be glad that he isn’t his all-smiting daddy, if he was, then you would be a blazing pillar of salt sizzling in hellish fire.”

I’m not sure if she heard the last words because she hung up on me. She unfriend me on Facebook and stopped following Pagan Culture, too. What a loss, huh?

Some people’s interpretation of the word makes no freaking sense…
Can you understand them, my Luvs? If you do, explain it to me…
I need to cleanse my friend list! I wonder how one does that…

Anyhoo, I better get some writing done.
I’m excited about the next installment of The Haunting.
I will try to make the chapters to come a lot shorter.
I think my 4,000-word long Sex Witch, deterred a few online readers.

Oh, I found this picture while reading about religious people who are “an embarrassment to humanity” and a disgrace to their own deity. I’ve bookmarked the blog and will probably read it often. If you have a chance, take a look-see, The Omnipotent Poobah is brilliant and hilarious.
…and the wolf huffed and he puffed and he bought a bulldozer to knock the house down.


Share |

68 comments:

  1. I think you handled that rather well. Sometimes people can get so holier-than-thou because they are filled with the spirit of 'I'm right and your wrong' that they totally miss the point of His teachings and use them for hate and judgement rather than love as I believe He intended.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a shame. Jesus was such an amazing figure, and every time I see how people have dirtied his teachings it makes me feel really sad.

      Delete
  2. I think it's a case of people coming into religion and then feeling like they have to make up for time lost, or that they feel so happy/good and they think everyone else will feel the same way if they just did what they did. It's sort of like when people in love want all their single friends to be in love too. But you can't just MAKE someone else have that type of experience (let alone BELIEF), and there isn't one universal panacea. Some people don't grasp this. There's also this feeling of "us" versus "them" with religion that is misguided. Maybe your friend will come around one day.

    Don't get me started on people who use religion to justify their already held prejudices.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know? I didn't think about it before, but you are so right. It's the same with people who haven't had a successful relationship and then one of their friends does, for some reason they feel the need to say, "Don't get used to it, this won't last."

      Why can't they just be happy about having found a faith they like, and leave others alone. It really makes no sense, particularly when they use insults try to get others to follow the same path.

      Delete
  3. I'm not against anyone's religion, but when a Christian tries cramming their Christianity down my throat in a matter of speaking and says that I'm going to be doomed because I'm a Buddhist, I have no room for this persons garbage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neither do I, they should be celebrating their happiness and letting others live theirs.

      Delete
  4. The best Christians are those who know that their spiritual journey is THEIR OWN path and that everybody else does not need to follow that path too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed. Nothing nicer than a person who is secured enough in his or her own faith to leave others alone.

      Delete
  5. The part that bugs me is the idea that forgiveness is "resume victim position." it's interpretation is wrong.. Because doing the same thing over and over is already insane, but doing the same thing over and over while expecting another person to change is spectaci

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Insane people have a great ability to ignore reality, don't they?

      Delete
  6. You responded to her better than I would have. As a once-Christian turned wicked witch (sorry, had to borrow your phrasing there hun :D) I am appalled to see that things like this still continue in the church. I believe that the God they preach about is bigger and better than they ever give Him credit for. And I also believe that He is not incompatible with a pagan belief system. Even when I was still calling myself Christian, I would have rolled my eyes and been seriously irritated with this sort of behavior. So many Christians never grow up. And so many of them never realize that it's not their holy book or their God we have a problem with... it's His followers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fox, you said *exactly* what I was thinking and how I feel to an absolute T. Sounds like we are cut from the same cloth.

      \IiiI

      Delete
    2. I don't understand how people can claim to be one thing, when their behavior reflects the exact opposite. Jesus is not about condemnation and nastiness, but about love, understanding, learning, growth... "His followers" should be stripped of that title.

      Delete
  7. I know there are good Christians out there, but it seems there are a lot of hypocritical, judgmental ones that make us all want to puke. "Do as I say, not as I do" types. They are everywhere. Pompous and self-serving. But let me stop...I don't want to talk their talk, cos I sure as hell don't walk their walk.
    You are able to think on your feet, Magaly. I can never think of what to say till hours later. Congrats on getting your point across!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are tons of great Christians, indeed. People who cringe when they realized individuals like the one I wrote about share their title. Someone should teach the latter how to be what they claim to be.

      Delete
  8. No offence...but if she is such a devout Christian, what is she doing following Pagan Culture in the first place :S, and I know a lot of wonderful Christian folk...none of whom consider adultery a lesson in love :S And cleansing your Friends list is easy peasy...do they ever comment on your page?, do they ever try to lecture you? Do you feel bad about hitting the "unfriend" button?...I didn't when a childhood friend tried this with me recently. She felt I'd over reacted and been "Un necessary"..I didn't :D Cleansed :D XXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've said the thing I've told many before. Pagan Culture is a place for like-minded people, regardless of belief, unless they try to abuse someone else. You can't come to my house to tell me about how horrible I am, just because we are different. I won't allow it. People can come and offer opposite thoughts, I love a good argument, but if they come here to offend, then leave.

      Delete
  9. Wow. Luckily I haven't had quite that happen to me. Just people I never knew very well in the first place preaching to me. And me (once) arguing back with Biblr quotes. Which she then said that I missed the point of...but that's another story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I shake my head every time someone tells me that I "just don't know" what the Bible meant. Hilarious.

      Delete
  10. You handled that beautifully! I have had the same experiences lately and am, quite frankly, fed up with them. I have called myself "Christo-Pagan" in an attempt not to upset my "friends" too badly or offend their sensibilities. I'm at the point now where I'm openly Pagan and very "Witchy". There's no better feeling than cleansing the shit out of your "friends list". It really pisses people off when you can argue back with specific Bible verses and disprove the tripe they are spouting at you...gods I love that. Give'em hell (ha ha), girl.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stinky tripe indeed. I feel bad that you have to claim a label just to please others, but I completely understand. Sometimes, okay most of the time, some of our friends take quite a bit of time to see what it right in front of their face. Some of them never do. Pity. "Give'em hell" ha!

      Delete
  11. I've had a few friends in my life become "Born Agains". One I've known since I was about 5 yrs old who can't hate anyone (even my Pagan self) because "hate is not the word of Jesus and the Lord". I miss her... But I did have to cut a friend out of my life when he told me he would pray for my son because having a Pagan mother would obviously reserve him a spot in hell. You can call me whatever you want, but to bring my child into it is definitely a no-fucking-go. I let loose and I held nothing back. I had to remind him that sometimes (as my Nonna once told me) when a person is at their most vulnerable and wishing for a way to make the pain go away, it's usually the Devil showing up with promises and making the deals. I hope that messed with his head a bit lol

    Cleansing the bullshit (and people) is sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You reaction sounds a lot like what I would've done. When people involve children in their stupidity, it pisses me off to a point I can't even describe. The nerve of that woman, to pretend she has the ability or the right to say anything about the future of your child. What a lump of garbage.

      Delete
  12. Holy man! I am watching my language but its hard. These are the people who make me cringe when I hear the term "christian"; claims to be about love but it is selfish and self serving with no love in sight. I am so proud of you for how you handled it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think some people confuse "love" for judgement, loathing and hate for anything different. "selfish and self serving" about says it.

      Delete
  13. My sister was very much like your "friend". She found God and the rest of us didn't even have an idea that he was in the neighborhood. She also was having a thing with her pastor. That was ages ago. Lots of water has gone under that bridge but she never got over the fact that she found "him" first and pretends to be sweet while wiping her dagger that she uses to stab you in the back, on your sleeve, so as not to get blood on her.
    When I worked for the church, I watched hearts and heads burst with truths....that didn't make sense. After I quit the church, I see everyone behaves the same. WE are all vulnerable and usable....I hope your friend can live with what she has done. But as for you, you said it well, you said it strong, and now sweep it away with the dirt of living.
    xoxo Oma Linda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The way people's minds work after they supposedly see the light, can't be quite strange. I hope she (and those she is hurting) can live with her actions.

      Delete
  14. So many, many things come to my mind.

    I found Jesus too.

    He was hiding in the closet.

    If Satan was going to use my lips for something I would hope he'd find a more wicked use than talking to assholes.

    And my favorite thing was how hard I laughed when I read the bit about how you must have forgiven your old acquaintence because you have thus far refrained from beating her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She does deserve a bit a of a kicking, so I consider myself very gracious for holding my boot back lol

      Jesus "hiding in the closet." Ha!

      Delete
  15. Everything is changed and she is now a follower of Jesus?? Since when did he say, "Bed your neighbors husband?" Talk about confused!! And a false witness! Sheesh
    You are definitely better off without her.
    Hugging you
    SueAnn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some people have some really strange ways to interpret "the word." Confused, indeed!

      Delete
  16. You are my hero. Seriously. ^-^

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  17. You speak from the heart and maybe that explains why I enjoy your blogs so much, Magaly! Yes, this one made me sad, made me laugh and made me thoughtful. Just remember that we need to separate the teacher Jesus, from the church. Jesus was a strong man with an amazing message the church not so much. Most of these folks are followers of the church not Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, thanks for liking my words, Francie, that always makes me happy.

      I completely agree with your assessment. The difference between Jesus and the church is enormous, and to confuse one with the other is a big mistake.

      Delete
  18. You lasted ever so much longer in conversation than I would have. All I need to hear is the phrase 'ills of Witchcraft' to let loose the torrent. After that, it's block & delete.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I did want to kick her in the mouth at about the same line lol. Block and delete is wonderful, isn't it?

      Delete
  19. Why just this morning my husband and I were talking about something like this ~ I'm a fan of the kindness that Jesus taught... but not of his 'people'. If only they stopped to read what he actually taught, how many lives and cultures would have been spared instead of slaughtered in his name.
    ♥Sharon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since I was young, Jesus has been one of the figures I've most admired, because of the great things he taught. I have never been able to understand why some of the people who call themselves his followers act so contrary to his word. Pity.

      Delete
  20. "His wife treats him horrible and he will leave her soon to be with me."
    *insert witchy cackling*
    Yes, hon, of course he will - like crazy, like all the others married with children tell 'the other woman' they will do this one day.

    She has her punishment for being a liar and a hypocrit.
    Those people are so full of it, really.

    Magaly, don't you worry about her ever again. This was a case of good bye and good riddance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how she can convince herself that the preacher will leave his wife to be with her. I asked her if she didn't think that just maybe he said the same thing to the other women with whom he has children--all born while he has been married--she said that I wouldn't understand. I agree, I don't.

      Delete
  21. Magaly, you said everything perfectly! Good for you! Some of us choose different paths, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends, and talk about things. Celebrate our different ways! Be Happy!I don't understand how a person can put someone down, because they are on a different path? "That is Satan talking through your lips" ???????? What???? Satan is talking through her lips!!!!
    You haven't deterred me from your story!!! I love what you write! I will be getting around to it soon ;o) Big Hugs ;o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right, the world would be a much better place if most people understood that the same things do not work in the same ways for different people. Some like red, some like yellow, that doesn't mean they can't make beautiful oranges together.

      Glad the length didn't push you away. Hugs!

      Delete
  22. Sometimes I think some Christians use Jesus as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want; after all, they are forgiven for their sins, right? It's ok to point fingers at someone else and condemn, because they are better than we are; they are Christian. **eye roll** Sorry... shame on me, but dang, people like that burn my butt! Um... no pun intended.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I was little, and knew no better, I used to feel horrible about Jesus being in the cross forever. I thought crucifixes to be cruel for showing the poor man's image bleeding, but you know?--and this is really sad--now I wonder if Jesus is not indeed weeping blood because all these horrible people are acting like idiots and claiming to be doing it in his name. The nerve.

      Delete
  23. Oo one of "those" friends. Your better off without her friendship. I think you handled yourself in a classy way darlin. I wouldn't give her another thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just laughed at your "Oo one of 'those' friends" lol Isn't it weird how they are so common--the holier-than-thou people that now we can see them coming from a mile away? Run! lol

      Delete
  24. Anonymous6/24/2012

    Thank you, Magaly, for having the guts to say what you did to this woman. Because I've had people shove the idea of forgiveness at me my whole life, saying that it "would help me move on and let go." They told me this not to help me, but because they were uncomfortable with my experience of being victimized. Slapping a band-aid labeled forgiveness on my lacerated spirit made them feel temporarily better so that they could more easily forget my pain and leave me with wounds festering under their useless band-aids of silence and shame. No, what helped me move on was not forgiveness but holding the person who hurt me accountable for what he did--and then protecting myself by keeping him out of my life. People often seem to put the burden of forgiveness on the victim because it's easier for society to blame the victim than hold the perpetrator accountable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, true and true. So many times people and society victimize the victims over and over. I know a girl who was nearly sexually assaulted by her uncle, and when she escaped the man and went to her grandmother--the pig's mom--the old woman told the girl--15 years old--that if she dressed less like a whore and more like "the lord" intended, then her son wouldn't be tempted. I will never understand what goes through the minds of people like this.

      Delete
  25. That's an interesting collection of nutjobs you have got in your history. No loss if she does not want anything to do with you. Concentrate on the nice nuts and not the rotten ones. ^^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I have a few good nuts who always remind me why I risk mingling with the nasty ones ;-)

      Delete
  26. Sorry that you had to go through that with your friend! I had a lifelong friend once (still have her, we've just grown waaay apart), and when we were growing up we were in high school together she was the big party girl and I was the virginal nerdy one. When she settled down and got married (ironically way before I did) she found religion and spent the next five years or so berating me on my "hardened heart" and hellbound ways. Ugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gods! We should introduce them to each other lol. My "friend" used to make fun of me because I didn't drink, smoke or party in the ways she did, then somehow she forgot about this fact and is trying to save me from my Witch self. Diandra is right, freaking nutjobs!

      Delete
  27. All I know is that everyone - regardless of their beliefs - is better off without hypocritical people like that in their lives.

    Oh, and I also know "the word" obviously can't be "directions" since Jesus gets lost so often; he obviously needs help figuring out how to ask for directions... Maybe we should get the poor guy a map?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Idiot of any path will be always idiots unless they change their ways.

      I think Jesus was a great guy. Most words attributed to him are wonderful and hope-filled, the ones that need directions, common sense, and a kick on the back of the head are those who go around turning something good and clean into a weapon of pain. We all can do without them.

      Delete
  28. This brings to mind a time a few years ago when I was approached by someone in my post office. I didn't know her in any sense of the word, and I didn't wear anything back then that would announce to the world that im a witch, nor do I now so when she approached me I thought maybe she was lost until she asked me if I am christian. I answered her honestly and said, "no I am pagan," and she looks at me and says, "oh honey I am going to pray for you. The devil has a hold on you right now but god and jesus love you so much and will bring you back to the flock." My response, "ma'am if I wanted to be a mindless sheep within your flock I would still be in church. I love jesus, I think he is awesome, and in return for you praying for me I will pray for you as well and ask that your small mind be opened to be more accepting and understanding just like jesus would want you to be," and I walked out of the post office. I've never heard from or seen the woman again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you. I'm often approached by "well meaning" people who glare at me when I said thanks, but no thanks to their invitation to Bible classes or to follow them to Jesus. If Jesus is everywhere and in everyone, then why should I follow someone else to find him?

      Delete
  29. Man I'm running late but crap I had to laugh at the hypocrites that take the moral high ground!!!! This is a great post, I remember oh so many people from my past who called me a wowser or too straight & then when THEY found the light (which ever was needed for their 'transformation' came back lecturing me on how I could be a better person if I did as they did, didn't swear/drink/eat dairy LOL... the only thing that really changes with these people is how judgemental they become of others in their quest to prove how superior a being they now believe they are (adultery & all)... Well what can you say??? Maybe just F@#k off & smile you have one less 'fake' friend on Facebook, & happy a morally berief soul no longer follows your blog ;) Screwing a married preacher, how dare she lecture :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You eat dairy? I don't know if I can still talk to you. I might have to consider our Facebook affiliation, at least until you decide to share the cheese ;-)

      You and yours have been in my mind and in my prayers, my darling.

      Delete
    2. Sharing the cheese babe ;) xxxx

      Delete
  30. This post brought a smile to my face...thank you...those people are so funny and they don't even realize it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, spiritual stupidity can reach levels of blindness that can't be measure with any known system.

      Delete
  31. Wow. You have really come into contact with some insanity, my lovely friend. I can never understand where people think forgiveness equates to doormat. I have forgiven several people and moved on with my life. My choice not to associate with them is simply, like you, out of the desire to share my precious earth time with those who inspire, encourage and love me rather than those who suck my soul dry with their drama and lies. And SHE is having an affair with a married man who is a preacher, on top of it all??? It's funny how people can twist anything and justify it with "the word."

    I used to know a woman who did a lot of online dating, slept with each of the men on the first date and then during sex, would start crying about how ashamed she was and ask god's forgiveness. Then afterward, she would call them nonstop, leaving messages to apologize and keep calling until they either changed their number or blatantly told her to stop. After the 4th time she told me this I asked her why she kept doing that not only to herself but it couldn't be a good experience for the men either. She said it was because she knew she deserved the punishment for being a bad Christian. WTF??? I always feel bad when people cannot see that they make their own reality. Ah...the masses, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay, the last part of your comment shouldn't have made me laugh, but I found myself picturing the woman screaming, "Bad Christian! Bad Christian!" as she beat herself on the side of the head in front of the mirror and started roaring. I know, I'm not very proud, but it is still funny lol

      Delete
  32. You know, I have found more hypocrites in church than elsewhere. I once asked a group of "good" christians ... Do you live with God/Jesus/Holy Ghost every minute of every day in your life? Do you constantly pray, a prayer can be as simple as "Help me God/Jesus/Holy Ghost..." (He knows what you are asking for)? Or do you acknowledge God for an hour or so on Sunday morning? Many looked at me perplexed ... most acknowledged that had never thought of daily contact with God ... How can people profess to be "good" christians when they don't apply the teachings to themselves? Many seem to act as if being a "good" christian allows them the right to judge and condemn others .... I say "God, please protect me from "good" christians! Amen!"

    Born again christians who claim to finally find Jesus? Heck, Jesus was never lost! He was walking right along side and you chose to ignore his presence ...

    Another thing I find very irritating are those religious email messages and FB posts boldly announcing that if you do such and such, riches, etc. will be bestoved upon you ... but if you delete or ignore the message .... you are going to be one sorry being and you are definitely a non-believer. You know, I honestly do not believe God/Jesus/Holy Ghost would actually stoop to blackmail; to me, those types of messages are blatant blackmail and I refuse to respond to threats of that ilk.

    Sorry, I think I got a bit off the topic ... but I felt the need to add my "Vent" comment after reading your post and all the great responses. There is a lot of love and understanding in this post and comments ... and acknowledgement that many people wear the cloak of religion to perpetuate the illusion they are good.

    Anyway, I hope you are having a Happy Day! You are loved by many for your honesty, integrity, joy of life and love for your fellow humane humans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Few things annoy me as much as digital religious blackmail. What are they thinking anyway? If eternal happiness, richness and undeniable entrance into paradise could be sold, every telemarketer would be loaded and wearing an over sized halo. But some people do need that cloak, don't they?

      Delete
  33. I just read Sex Witch a couple hours ago and didn't notice the length. I was having too much fun with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wonderful! I guess I should let my mind run long and wild ;-)

      Delete