I Don’t Want to Say He Is an Inconsiderate Bastard, But…

…he is, so I’ll just type it.

Whenever possible, I try to stay away from negativity-loaded posts. But life is a circle that needs the good, the bad and the ridiculous to keep the wheel spinning. Also, I need to vent before I implode.

You guys know I’ve spent the last three weeks working like an insane person on AlmaMia Cienfuegos. It has been a lot of work—satisfying work, but my mind and bones care little about the difference. You, my Wicked Darlings, my Piano Man and other wonderful people have made the process easier and the publication possible.

Yet, some of my writer friends didn’t even answer my emails when I asked if they wanted to help. Shocking, isn’t it? But that isn’t the bad part, the bit that set my blood on fire happened earlier today. A friend—and I’m using the word so loosely that it can barely hold itself together—emailed me this morning. Actually, let me be more specific, he replied to this message, which I sent a couple of weeks ago:

Magaly: “Hey X, I know you are busy, but would you please read this manuscript for me? I have to publish it in a few days, and I’ve read it so many times that the words are beginning to run together. I’m sure I can no longer see the mistakes. Please get back to me ASAP. I really need this one.”

I got no reply. For almost three weeks… then this morning:

Friend X: “How is my favorite blogger and fiction writer in the world? Hope life is kissing all the right places. Need a favor gal. I’m publishing a collection of shorts, a couple of poems, essays; not sure ‘bout the latter yet. It’s all good and put together. Just need promotion. Should I give books to your readers? Not sure how it all works. Would appreciate review. You’re awesome. Friend X out!”

I read that email many times. I couldn’t believe it. Is he serious? At first, I wasn’t going to reply, but you know what? I’m not that kind of person. I have to say what’s in mind and heart. Feelings rot and die if one doesn’t bring them to light. I don’t want to stink. My message was short:

Magaly: “X, I don’t want to say that you are an inconsiderate bastard, but considering that it will remain true even if I don’t, I will go ahead and type it anyway: you are a selfish son of a mother. And you must have mistaken me for someone else; someone really stupid.

I’ve been well, thanks for asking. My friends have helped me with AlmaMia Cienfuegos. Best of luck with your publication; I hope your friends are half as good as mine. If not, well, you’ll see…

Wow, I feel much better already. A bit of venting goes a long way, doesn’t it? Hm, while the venting is good, I should take care of another issue:

About Getting Reviewed at Pagan Culture

Lately, I’ve been getting many, many, many review requests from strangers. Let me share a line or three from the most, um, interesting messages these last few weeks:

1. “Dear Megaly, I read your blog all the time. Your perspective is impressive, thought provoking and unique. I am convinced your great mind will devour my book about… and never forget it. Would you be interested in reviewing it?” No, I would not. And you haven’t read Pagan Culture. If you had, you would spell my name correctly (I hope) and would have known that I’m allergic to bullshit.

2. “Blessed Be! I am not Wiccan, but I have enjoyed your blog for so long that I feel the pull. My book…” What a coincidence, I’m not Wiccan either. How weird that you’ve never noticed, since you “have enjoyed [Pagan Culture] for so long.”

3. “I’m attaching a free copy of Author X’s spiritual thriller. Many are talking about how [the author] is showing that the viciousness behind [insert name of mainstream religion many people love to spit on]…. In our experience, pagans, witches in particular, will see this book as a bible…” You obviously don’t know us—in particular, you don’t know me—and you haven’t taken the time to read Pagan Culture, a blog about conversation, words, friends of all paths, and overall NOT about the sentiments you are trying to promote. You are rude. I feel bad for anyone who is paying you money to advertise his or her work.

Now, my Wicked Darlings, do I have to tell you why I haven’t replied to any of the emails containing the quotes above? I don’t like lazy people. I understand that in this age of literary abundance it is very difficult to get one’s work out there, which is why I applaud writers who take the time to make real connections with readers and with other writers.

I don’t say that I only review the work of people who follow Pagan Culture because I want people following my blog (although that’s nice). I require that bit because I want to know something about the person behind the work. In most cases, I fall for the art and the mind behind it at the same time.

I don’t want to sound harsh, but truths should be shown as they are. I wish I had time to research random works, and share their goodness with the world. However, if I did that for everyone, I would have no time to write my own tales.

So, my Wicked Darlings, have you experienced any of the above lately? Ever? Do share… at this moment, I really need to know that I’m not just a hurt jerk.
Yes, her boobs are ginormous, as big as my head. I couldn't believe it either.
And yes, this has little to do with this post, but I didn't have another picture that said:
"Can you believe this crap?" as effectively as this one does.


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66 comments:

  1. Absolutely. Too often to count. To have people you don't even know say, "Do this for me", but they have no clue who you even are, is ballsy as all get-out. Like those you say, "Oh, I *know* you!", but can't tell you a single thing about you, yeah.

    I love your work. I love your heart and your vision. But most of all, I love you. You are an amazing, hot-blooded, soul gouging beauty, and I kinda like that in my friends. (Hope I can call you that lol!)

    Wait...did that suddenly get...stalkerish?????

    \IiiI

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    1. Of course you can call me that, I know at least 13 things about you, so I qualify ;-)

      I was laughing when I got the email. It really made me think of Señor Hey Look at Me! lol

      Delete
    2. ROFL! That was what I thought when I read this! Everyone really does have a Mr. HLAM in their lives!!

      \IiiI

      Delete
  2. To be quite honest I think the picture is perfect since well... they're all being big boobs XD

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    1. Hm, didn't think of that. Guess I'm feeling a little British today ;-D

      Delete
  3. You do realise oh witchy one, that by placing ginormous boobies at the end of your rant, that is all that will be in peopkles minds when they leave your blog hahahaha :D I was all fired up, ready to unload words of wisdom and support...and all I can think know is "BOOBIEEEEEEEEES!" :D

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    1. I will quote the Little Princess and say, "Are you inside my brain?"

      You saw right through me, didn't you? I guess the message is clear: we should sweat the small stuff or the small people. Gigantic boobies, on the other hand, oh yeah, lots of sweat lol

      Delete
  4. Sounds as if your 'friend' doesn't read in-coming e-mail. I just don't think it would be possible to ignore you, Magaly, so I suspect it was laziness or a lack of time. Hopefully you will get the apology very soon! Love your writing and laughed at the big boobs!

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    1. I'm flatter that you think I can't be ignored. Yay me! I think that it was possible that he didn't know how to say no, so he just avoided the whole thing. I really, really, really want to believe that.

      Delete
  5. Morning Magaly...Sounds like you have been inundated with requests lately...nice to be wanted, but come on folks...since they know nothing about you and are not 'friends' and want your help, you need to send them an invoice for time spent before you do the work and then see if they are serious ...teehee...I love to send invoices to doctors who think their time is more important than mine...

    It's strange about friend 'X' though...hhmmmm...wonder if your email is in his junk mail by accident...

    I recently wrote a letter to a cousin who had torn me a new one for something I did...I did not deserve it and was taken quite aback by his behavior...didn't say enough at the time, but got rid of most of my anger toward him with the letter...didn't send it, but don't think I'll speak with him anymore...still angry...

    Life's a bitch and then you die...Just a rant I guess...

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    1. Hm, invoices... interesting lol

      I've written I lot of letters to never mail or to burn. I don't think I would be here without that healthy and creative venting bit in my life.

      Delete
  6. The look on your face is priceless dear.

    And listen, Meganallony, or whatever your name is, big boobs are where it's at.

    So now that we've established this please promote my bible on why it's bad to eat cooked food or something.

    I just wrote it, I haven't actually read it yet but I'm sure all you and your foodie readers will love it.

    This is a food blog right?

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    1. You are incredible... yes, this is a food blog. We take pride in our Grilled A-Holes Platter ;-)

      Delete
    2. LMAO, I'm sorry.

      That sucks.

      Also I was toying with pretending I thought your name was Megao-lo-ronnie and or Maque Attack. Or maybe Mango Bongo.

      I'm just hungry and ran out of Mango's.

      They were three dollars a piece at my grocery store.

      Sad face times ten.

      Delete
    3. Me Mango Bongo, you Militant Fruit lol

      You need to come to New York, to Queens where Dominicans and Haitians have taken over and sell mangoes cheap.

      Delete
  7. I probably would have ignored them as well. I suppose my mommas teaching of "Don't say anything if you can't say something nice" is just stuck with me. But once in awhile I get a burr up my ass and will let loose like you've done as well.

    The ones that don't know you very well, while annoying, wouldn't have prompted me to be angry. But the other guy, yeah he would have to do some serious ass kissing before I'd help him.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Ass kissing doesn't work well with me. Well, unless my Piano Man... okay, different post.

      But seriously, I don't react well to ass kissing. It makes me suspicious lol Honesty, on the other hand, all the way. Someone once told me, "I wish you could critique my work, you have an eye for noticing little things that will turn people off. But I can't reciprocate because your stories scare me, and I don't understand the genre enough to be of any help."

      I still critique that person's work. He proofreads my essays for school. I rather people would just say it like it is. If he would have said, I can't or I'm not interested, I would have been fine.

      And like you, the strangers' emails didn't face me, I actually found them funny lol

      Delete
    2. After reading about your issues with notifications I did a little more digging. I now notice I'm not getting your reply notifications anymore. I did when you used Disque. but not with this comment system. :( I thought that a bit odd but didn't check back until now.

      Anyway, to reply to your comment. Yeah ass kissing is annoying and suspicious. But I suppose it depends on the person and my mood whether I agree to let them off the hook. Of course there's always one man I can't help but forgive with an I love you, a kiss and a special look in his eye. He certainly knows how to kiss my heart shaped butt perfectly. ;)

      Delete
  8. well, he certainly is a nervy bastard unless, of course, your email to him slipped through the cracks.

    I get the occasional request to have a link or an ad put on my blog. I gotta wonder if they have really even read it since I don't put links or ads on my blog.

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    1. He replied to my original email. Yes, he "is a nervy bastard."

      Delete
  9. Mr. X sounds like the equivalent of a 'cold caller'. Just how often do cold calls work, anyway? Diamond Geezer gets a lot of 'requests' as well. He saves the best lines up & does a post every 8 weeks or so with them.

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    1. Ooooh, I better check Diamond Geezer, bet they are hilarious!

      Delete
  10. Absolutely justified in your feelings and non-replies...don't waste time with inconsiderate bastards. :)

    Peace~
    Lavender at The Simplified Witch Blog

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  11. Bahaha! Well, the thing that got through to me most in this post was the misspelled name, since I know I have done that a few times ::blushes::

    I haven't had any of this, I am new to blogging and such and haven't advertised that I write. But I do look forward to someday giving out responses inspired by your own above :)

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    1. I'm sure I've misspelled many names many times, too. But when you are requesting someone looks at your writing, and talking about how wonderful it is, a bit of attention to details goes a long way.

      Yay for inspiration!

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  12. I've had WAAYYY too many people like your Mr. X in my life... Sad to say, my own parents are the biggest culprits because I have no qualms with tossing "friends" to the side when things become one way and all about them. It's kind of hard to tell your parents to fuck off, especially with grand children involved..

    I can see why random people ask you to "review" their work. They see how many followers you have and they see how many comments you gather with every post. And the fact that you are a fantastic writer and read so many books. But what they don't understand is all the mutual love and respect that goes on here. Their stupidity.. Their loss =)

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    1. Many people tend to forget that relationships must go both ways in order to survive. If one member is being starved, then there is no relationship at all.

      And you made my heart happy, for it is true, the one thing I value most about Pagan Culture is that here, people can make friends.

      Delete
  13. Good for you, Magaly -- you don't let yourself be taken advantage of!

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    1. No ma'am! That's what I have relatives for *cough, cough*

      Delete
  14. I have gotten a few "your blog has lots of interesting topics" - ummm, I generally post book reviews, not that many topics there. lol

    Also I once had a book to review and it was so full of typos and some other things wrong. I wrote to the author suggesting she work it over and I would try it again, and she ripped my head off that she has published 9 books and knows exactly what she is doing. Needless to say that book did NOT get reviewed.

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    1. Oh my goodness, are you serious? I can't believe a person would be so freaking ridiculous. You were editing for free and she spat on your face. What a winner.

      Delete
  15. If friend X had any sense at all he'd have been jumping at the chance to review your work, whether you then reviewed his or not!

    As for the random people. If they read your blog, they would know you don't accept random reviews, know how to spell your name (even if they still struggled with pronouncing it so had given up and just used "Mags" when speaking to their partner about you. *Clears throat*) and wouldn't be trying to force a religeous label on you that you don't want or need.

    I recently had someone I've practically grown up with and consider a little sister completely ignore the existance of my book while eagerly promoting something of a friend of hers she's only known for a few months (maybe a year at most). That quite hurt. I've known her since we were kids; she calls my Dad, "Dad" and her son is "meant to be" my Godson (though I never got an invite to his christening and she only seems to remember I want to be in his life around his birthday and Christmas). So I'm understandably hurt about the book (though more so about the situation with the child, since she's messed me about with him since she was expecting him).

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    1. Sorry you had to go through that. Her lost. By the way, I couldn't resist and today, I read "Pixies" and "Do You Believe in Magic?" LOVE them!

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  16. Awww *hugs!!* As you know, I work in a flower shop. Despite being a mostly happy business, you would not believe the stupid people I get... At least once a day, someone from some charity or another (which, granted, I would love to support all of them but ONE A DAY) marches into the shop, walks right up to the counter without so much as a glance around the store or feigned interest in buying something and announces that they're their for a donation. Really? Really?!

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    1. People are so 'special,' aren't they? They seem to be stuck in a world of their own creation, when life revolves around them and them alone.

      Delete
  17. Those people are BIG BOOBS, right????? LOL I get the photo hint, he he... it continues to peeve me that so many people are so lazy & just ride on the hard work of others (I promise I won't mention inlaws again LOL) people that only speak to you when they want something & drop you if you fall short of what they need you in their life for... they are 'fakes' & 'leeches' and I have no time for either (whoops I better go throw those angry pills out) ok smiling again - you said no, they can put that egg in their shoe & beat it ;)

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    1. I had a friend who broke up with his girlfriend by leaving her a note. He wrote, "I can't be with you because you'll never show me the same kind of love you show your favorite basketball team." Yep, it kind of sucks when people only want to be friends while you are on top--no, Shelly, not THAT on top.

      Delete
  18. I'd like to read and comment on your blog a lot more, but somehow I am too chaotic at the moment (and I need to re-organize my reader and things, too.)

    I think it is a very common thing, people trying to promote her stuff like crazy, using the social networks and forgetting about the social part. Or mistaking it for social = a lot of people who will just love to be annoyed by my umpteenth statuses daily about how great my book is.

    Since I am not nearly known (or original, or interesting, or organized ;)) as you are in the blog-o-world, I haven't encountered the very problem you described, but I had to remove people from my stream, because the only thing they would ever post, was that "OMGS I've written a book and you can BUY it on Amazon..." yes, you mentioned it before... *rolls eyes*

    You've done right. You rock, go on. ;)

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    1. Such simple concept, understanding that social networks are about been social with each other, but so many people use it as an information dump that gets them blocked.

      By the way, "OMGS I've written a book and you can BUY it on Amazon..."

      Sorry, couldn't help myself ;-)

      Delete
    2. *lol*
      In your case, I think it's alright. ;)

      Delete
  19. Magaly, I love you and you are not a jerk! I love your expression with the big boobies! That's all I have in my head right now ;o) Good for you, writing back that e-mail! That "friend" deserved everything you said! And, I can't believe the other e-mails you have got? I'm glad you didn't answer them back! Some people are ding dongs! At least have the respect to get to know the person you are writing first. Doesn't that make sense? I actually had a comment on my blog last month, to do a review on someone's book??? I didn't write back. I was totally shocked about that! But, you know what, my friend, out east, is going to be publishing hopefully soon. I am crossing my fingers for her. She just wrote two children's books. She illustrated them too ;o) She is a great artist as well. She did sock monkeys ;o) I am so happy for her ;o) Hopefully, if everything goes right, I will buy two from her and send you and your princess some signed copies ;o) Ok, I have talked too long! Hugs and keep being you!!!

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    1. I love you right back, and now I'm thinking about huge boobies, too, because you wrote it lol

      I used to reply to all requests, now I just send them straight to spam. When someone takes the time to tell me why they think their work fit Pagan Culture, and their assessment is accurate, I take a look, but I rarely take the review anyway.

      Yay! for your friend. Does she have a blog or a website? I would love to see her work. And I know a few bloggers who are always great at writing about children's books.

      Delete
  20. So sorry they got you riled up! People are idiots, i try to tell myself they are just doing the best with the Limited abilities they have. Great ending photo .... Hope your future days will be less anger inducing! (Ya know, I don't talk that way, I don't know why I write that way)
    -Andrea

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    1. You might be right about the Limited abilities bit. Common sense handicap, that's the thing.

      That photo always makes me laugh. I was in Las Vegas, on my way to a Star Trek convention, yes, I'm a proud dork. Anyhoo, I was leaning against the wall, and when I turned there were the boobies. My friend took the picture while I was pointing. Priceless.

      Oh, and a few hours later, we saw a guy who was probably in his 80s walking into a strip club. I should share that pic lol

      Delete
  21. Ha ha ha! Love the picture at the end of the post, her boobs are bigger then your head. I so love the fact that you said "Yes, her boobs are ginormous, as big as my head. I couldn't believe it either.
    And yes, this has little to do with this post, but I didn't have another picture that said:
    "Can you believe this crap?" as effectively as this one does." And yes I copy and pasted your comment.
    No, I have not experienced your delima, however, I think that these people look up to you and wish your opinion on their own works. I can so understand not having enough time to critique their stuff. If critiquing is what they are after then they should seek an editor! Editors get paid for what they are after. And I suspect they are not willing to pay you for your hard work on reading their stuff and fixing it. I dont think your a jerk for not doing it. It's called "Self preservation" I personally love your writings. I think you are very talented! And I learn a lot from you. Unfortunately it is in most peoples nature to be selfish, so dont let it bring you down, you are beautiful, talented and blessed! You just keep on doing you girl friend!
    Peace,
    KristyLee

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    1. Thanks so much, KristyLee. Your comment-pasting and boob-commenting made me giggle. And you are right, he should probably get himself an editor...

      Delete
  22. Luckily, my friends are better than that. I have had so much great support from almost everyone with my writing - people checking for typos, stupid ideas, bad writing, or simply reading to cheer me on (which I especially love, of course). Of course I try to repay the favor as often as possible. Even if it means sacrificing all evenings of two months to translate two mangas from Japanese to German for a friend's master thesis. ^^

    (Okay, I enjoyed that one.)

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    1. I had no idea you spoke Japanese. How cool...

      You know, I'll say it again, I should probably write about the awesome people whose doors are always open for me. Those who read with heart for enjoyment and eye to smite typos. They are the ones who keep me writing and sharing after all...

      Delete
  23. I hear that the higher up you go...in success, personal life choices, happiness...etc....the more jerks you have to deal with. You must be doing something right that they want a piece of you and your witchy empire! Boo for them that they missed the opportunity to cultivate a true friendship with you and gain insight through association :)

    Oh, yeah....and BOOBIES!

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    1. My "witchy empire!" you are too good and too cute. And boo for them indeed, or I should probably clap, with the uglies gone, I have more time for the pretties.

      Boobies!

      Oh, and I'm nearly done with your tiny surprise, it should head your way on Monday ;-)

      Delete
  24. He must be kidding. Not checking the mail for weeks - maybe. But that?

    I don't have a lot of friends who write, but they NEVER would ask a favor like that after ignoring me while I needed them. Ok, they wouldn't ignore me to start with.

    Is this person a real friend or only someone who also writes? Because it sounds like the latter.

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    1. He is a military friend who also writes. I was as dumbfounded as you; sometimes, people just don't think before they vomit the idiocy chunks.

      Delete
  25. love that pic! Guess people do try after all no try no gain...or something like that hahaha. But yeah it bugs the hell out of you when they pretend to know you or your work or what you write when it clearly isnt so!

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    1. Try they do lol

      It's nice to read you lady; you've been missed!

      Delete
  26. Wow! What bullshit! I wonder what he is going to have to say for himself when he replies to you. Whatever it is I'm sure it will be easily replaced with "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty bastard, Blah blah blah" and none of the point will be lost. Lol. I do not envy your position. Good luck fishing through the douche bags. :)

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    1. Now I have a disgusting image of someone "fishing through the douche bags" lol

      I don't think he'll reply any time soon...

      Delete
  27. I LOVE YOU, MAGALY!! LOLOL

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    1. And I LUVS you right back ;-)

      Delete
  28. Well I am outraged that Mr. X had the audacity to ask such a favor of you after blatantly blowing you off in such a rude and inconsiderate way. On the other hand, I puffed with pride at your response to his asinine request. YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

    As for the other emails...I don't even know where to begin. I mean there is a time for formatted letters and there is a time for making personal connections. Just because it is the computer age does not make us all robots and honestly, I agree 100% - "In most cases, I fall for the art and the mind behind it at the same time." And when it comes to you, we can add the soul and heart.

    Love those boobs! hahahahaha. Hugs eternally, my wicked love. Mina

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    1. You know, whenever I feel down I can read a couple of messages from you and my heart sings. Not because the words are the most uplifting--and the gods know they are--but because they hold so much love. You are amazing, my Mina!

      Delete
  29. I'm glad you enjoyed the poems you've read so far! :)

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  30. I wrote something then lost it. Dangit. But I get similar comments on my book blog of people not really reading my blog but wanting me to read their book.

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