Proud of the Lines in the Silver Glass

The last relationships I was in, before falling broom over heels for my Piano Man, were with models. I married one, was engaged to another, and ran for the hills before the third gave me enough reasons to strangle him. They were good men, and they loved me dearly. But looking back, I feel I didn’t love them enough to notice certain things. Or maybe I didn’t know what to look for.

You are probably wondering what I’m talking about, huh? I know, my Luvs, I get loquacious when I think about uncomfortable pasts… but I have a point. It has to do with the behavior of one of my ex’s. I haven’t seen him in years, so some of these might no longer be true—I hope it isn’t. He loved his face, his body, his hair, and the way women and men went crazy at the sight of him. One summer, during an award ceremony, we had our first and last fight. I thought he had gotten upset after my red faerie dress, hair and sparkly tattoos got more attention than he did. But I think I was wrong…
                                                                             
My Piano Man and I went to see “Follies”, last week. And in the gloominess of a decaying stage, littered with the sad present-lives of its fallen stars, I understood that the man who I was with all those years ago was not upset because my dress, hair and tattoos had mesmerized everyone. He hurt because earlier that night, I discovered my first gray hair.

I was so happy about finally getting some sage that I failed to notice his desperation. My gray hair horrified him. I smacked his shaky hand when it approached my head with a pair of tweezers. I had been glaring at my ex, when he said, “You are right, pulling it out will only encourage more to come out. We’ll dye it tomorrow.”

I ignored the comment and went to the party with a smile that kept me in a glorious blaze. In my witchy soul, age, experience, lines on a happy face, gray hair… are proofs that one has lived; evidence that a heart has danced at the beat of the Earth’s rhythm for a while. Gray hairs are sage badges. A Witch finds pride in becoming a Crone.

“Follies” presents stars that have lost their glow, but that is not the show’s main theme. The musical is about how “dreams and reality collide for one triumphant, haunting and unforgettable night when former members of the “Weismann’s Follies” reunite on the eve of their theater’s demolition. Two couples remember their glorious past and face the harsher realities of the present…”

That last sentence was the bit that made me feel terrible about my ex and many others who hold their “glorious past” as the best thing they will ever have. When that ‘best thing’ is a face, a voice, a body, youth… years become a curse, rarely a blessing. Life must be a terrible thing to endure when one is not proud of the lines in the silver glass.  
Look at this hair and this smile, stunning has no age.
Isn't my friend, Lee Rockwell, a beautiful being?  
Now I understand the forlorn expression under the mirthful makeup...  
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64 comments:

  1. The gray (white) hair on my head doesn't bother me, although I do dye my hair. I suppose if I would cut it off and let it grow out naturally it wouldn't look so silly...

    The gray (white) hair elsewhere I haved tweezed. And I'm not talking about my eyebrows.

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  2. You know, my first gray hairs came when my (preemie) baby was hospitalized for a month. With disdain, I pulled them all out.

    You've given me pause to reconsider. Perhaps I need to stop looking at them as a reminder of a trauma & view them as a badge of strength, achievement & survivorship.

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  3. As ever, so insightful. Your posts are always so beautifully composed!
    Okay, so I don't usually do these but a reader tagged me so I thought it couldn't hurt to pass it on: http://witchofhowlingcreek.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/ive-been-tagged/ :)

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  4. I have always felt pity for people obsessed with their own appearance..maybe they would say(well I know they would!!) that I should spend more time and effort on my own appearance, but then I wouldn't have time to see their sadness, and remember to tell them how beautiful they still are :D XXX

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  5. Diandra Linnemann1/17/2012

    Looking forward to the white hair and the wrinkles! (My grandmothers were beautiful women.)

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  6. Slommler1/17/2012

    I had...yes had...a friend who was all about the physical...but I am all about the spiritual...the heart!  These mean long life...a long and happy life.  She was pathetic with her panic at each year came around.  It was more than sad!
    So I agree with you...I mean seriously...look at the alternative!!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  7. Great post! I think the blessing of being here on this earth is to fully experience the unique life qualities of each age and stage of our lives. Embrace it! Delight in the energy and beauty of youth, but celebrate the effect of time on our bodies as we age too. That's why I have never dyed my hair and would never have cosmetic surgery. I am ME, baby, and I will experience ALL of me!

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  8. Well said!
     
    It's so much easier to see things clearly when you're outside of the situation looking in than it is when you're actually living it, and I dare say plenty of people have had arguments that they thought were about one thing only to discover, perhaps years later, that they were probably mistaken. I expect plenty of people will do that in the future too.

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  9. Winterslytherin1/17/2012

    Awesome thoughts to ponder!  I dye my gray hairs (I'm 36, started going gray at 26) but not so much because they bother me.  I just have always love experimenting and changing hair color, probably because I used to be a hairdresser.  I love the experiences and "sage wisdom" I have now although I know I still have quite a bit more to learn that I cannot yet even fathom.  Wrinkles don't really distress me.  It's the "kitten stomach" from birthing three kids that I seem to have trouble embracing.  I'm not just sad about it, I'm obsessed with it.  Hopefully it is something I can someday overcome.

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  10. Amy P.1/17/2012

    Insightful as always, Magaly!  I'm going to have to share the link, as I know a few people that could really benefit from this point of view.

    Thanks for another great post!

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  11. ljrich1/17/2012

    This right here is exactly why I don't dye my hair anymore. I stopped when I started to notice how shallow I was becoming. How afraid of life I was, how scared of aging I had been. I was more afraid that someone might not be attracted to me because I had grey hair than because I'm a good person, or because I'm WITCHY SEXY or because they're not shallow husks for human beings.

    I've had greys since I was 18 and I now have quite the head of them. My hubby sometimes makes a comment that I should dye it. But, then, he doesn't necessarily let on that he's uncomfortable with them.

    I havent dyed my hair since 2000. Bring on the greys! You can't see em unless the sun hits my hair just right. Entire ginormous streaks.

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  12. Linda Wildenstein1/17/2012

    i got my first grey hair at 21. My grandmother used to say that the white hairs on a womans head were the blessing she received from heaven, like extra whipped cream. I always liked that. I dyed my hair only once because I was applying for a job working with kids and I didn't want them to think me "olde". But grew it out when I realized that I would never be olde unless I allowed my essence to age. I am me, white haired and full of spit and vinegar. I come from a family of very vain woman. My mother and sister were always fussing and fixing. I was just the bologna in the family sandiwich. Never felt bad about it, just out of place. Now at my age, I see lots of oldies and not so goodies with too much vanity to allow the true good times roll.
    Wisdom in this regard is to be admired. Good for you for having insight. Oma Linda

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  13. I've always found white hair to be beautiful. My family ages well, on both sides (so much that my mom has been confused for my sister and my father as my husband, the latter being a little more horrifying than the other), so I don't expect to see the signs of age until late in my life, especially since I still get carded for movies, let alone alcohol.

    People need to get over themselves. Youth is, at best, fleeting. I almost welcome a time where people will stop treating me as a young and naive and will take me seriously. I don't expect it any time soon, since people still think I'm in high school.

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  14. Wizardess91/17/2012

    I am enjoying my grays. I'm letting my hair grow long, and the grays give it a little light in the wavy brown forest! I'm hoping that eventually my hair will look like Emmy Lou Harris's.

    I'd like to invite you & your readers to a Tarot give-away on my blog. It's a bit Valentiney:
    http://gooutbeneaththenakednight.blogspot.com

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  15. Magaly, great post! I have a couple of grays and I love them! I love my lipstick, but don't give me any botox! LOL! I think people who only care about their "looks" and are scared of getting old, are very sad! We saw a special last night on Betty White turning 90 and she looks fantastic! A true beautiful lady in everyway! The only thing with me, I wish I had a little more hair on my head! ;o) But, I'm not going to get a hair transplant! Love me the way I am ;o) Your friend is gorgeous!!!

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  16. Magaly, great post! I have a couple of grays and I love them! I love my lipstick, but don't give me any botox! LOL! I think people who only care about their "looks" and are scared of getting old, are very sad! We saw a special last night on Betty White turning 90 and she looks fantastic! A true beautiful lady in everyway! The only thing with me, I wish I had a little more hair on my head! ;o) But, I'm not going to get a hair transplant! Love me the way I am ;o) Your friend is gorgeous!!!

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  17. Magaly, great post! I have a couple of grays and I love them! I love my lipstick, but don't give me any botox! LOL! I think people who only care about their "looks" and are scared of getting old, are very sad! We saw a special last night on Betty White turning 90 and she looks fantastic! A true beautiful lady in everyway! The only thing with me, I wish I had a little more hair on my head! ;o) But, I'm not going to get a hair transplant! Love me the way I am ;o) Your friend is gorgeous!!!

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  18. Magaly, great post! I have a couple of grays and I love them! I love my lipstick, but don't give me any botox! LOL! I think people who only care about their "looks" and are scared of getting old, are very sad! We saw a special last night on Betty White turning 90 and she looks fantastic! A true beautiful lady in everyway! The only thing with me, I wish I had a little more hair on my head! ;o) But, I'm not going to get a hair transplant! Love me the way I am ;o) Your friend is gorgeous!!!

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  19. Magaly, great post! I have a couple of grays and I love them! I love my lipstick, but don't give me any botox! LOL! I think people who only care about their "looks" and are scared of getting old, are very sad! We saw a special last night on Betty White turning 90 and she looks fantastic! A true beautiful lady in everyway! The only thing with me, I wish I had a little more hair on my head! ;o) But, I'm not going to get a hair transplant! Love me the way I am ;o) Your friend is gorgeous!!!

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  20. Sorry Magaly, I was just testing! LOL!

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  21. Magaly, great
    post! I have a couple of grays and I love them! I love my lipstick, but don't
    give me any botox! LOL! I think people who only care about their
    "looks" and are scared of getting old, are very sad! We saw a special
    last night on Betty White turning 90 and she looks fantastic! A true beautiful
    lady in everyway! The only thing with me, I wish I had a little more hair on my
    head! ;o) But, I'm not going to get a hair transplant! Love me the way I am ;o)
    Your friend is gorgeous!!!

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  22. Sorry about the weird spaces in my comment? Don't know why that happened?

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  23. OMG!!! You have to delete all these  messages!! I didn't realize they all showed up! Sorry!!!

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  24. Betsy Bailey1/17/2012

    I found my first gray hair on my 30th birthday. I was excited, especially since my Grandma had an amazing white streak in the front of her hair for years. I might end up looking like Polgara. That is something to look forward to. 

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  25. lilacwolf1/18/2012

    You had a badge of growing older and it scared the crap out of him because it meant he was getting older.  I feel bad for models in our society because they are valued for their looks alone...how terrifying to see the end of your career rushing towards you.

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  26. I remember one of my witch friends got freaked when she started getting gray hairs and wrinkles around her eyes. I was like the wrinkles prove you laughed and lived, as for the grays, I have many more than your few so don't worry about it. She never believed me till we went to get our hair done together and was like "OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TONS OF GRAY! Why have I never noticed this?" People think my gray is just blonde hair, that's a nice perk for redheads  =]

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  27. I'm giggling about your "gray (white)" hair elsewhere" lol 
    I let the very capable hairstylists from the Cancer Society play with my hair every year or so. And like the changes. I always say that if I stop donating my hair for good, I will probably not color it again, but I'll definitely keep an amber streak somewhere. Maybe a red one...

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  28. Your babies are great now, maybe Fate was just showing you that things change, but it doesn't mean the end or something bad.

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  29. I shall respond soon ;-) It seems I've been multi tagged!

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  30. I don't think I pity them... well, maybe a little. I try to compare their art with mine, and if the time came when I couldn't write because I no longer liked my stories, I would be a very sad person.

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  31. My grandma had a white hair of curls. She would let me play hairstylist (her hair grew as fast as mine does) and I loved it!

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  32. Gods, it must be terrible to panic with every birthday. The sadness!

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  33. "I will (and want to) experience ALL of me!" too ;-)

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  34. It's nice when we get to look back and shed some light on past mistakes.

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  35. You'll come to terms with your "kitten stomach" (that's too funny, by the way). I used to be quite bothered by my scars, but life happened and I found that I wasn't less beautiful because of them, just more me. And being me is AMAZING! lol

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  36. Spread the love, my darling ;-)

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  37. I LOVE this picture of you, my "WITCHY SEXY" thing ;-)

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  38. Ah, certain family members... can't kill them, can't pump their blood out of your veins. 

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  39. Life is all about stages, and the beauty and happiness comes when we embrace every single one of them. Just like the seasons, right?

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  40. I want to look like Polgara, but with curls ;-)

    I'll stop by to check out the goodies!

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  41. Betty White is a delightful hoot! 
    After one of my accidents (after the surgery after my accident, might be more accurate) Some of the hair didn't grow back, so I have a clearing here and there *grins at clearing* they aren't necessarily flattering, but they are mine and remind me that I'm still alive and kicking. I think our bodies change to become a living journal of where we've been, and I would never want to forget that.

    And yes, Lees is gorgeous, as are you!

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  42. I always thought Polgara was one of the most beautiful witches, ever! I'll pray you get the look ;-)

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  43. ... especially if one sees career and life as inseparable.

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  44. I've had laughing lines since I was a kid--they are a Guerrero trait. I think we laugh too much. I love them. I used to feel mighty proud when someone would say, "Look at that crinkly smile, it must be Miguel's kid." And yes, I'm my father's daughter ;-)

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  45. Exactly! Faces are suppose to move =]

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  46. ljrich1/18/2012

    That pic was a total accident. I was trying to use my webcam to take pics of some other pics that I can't scan because my scanner is ancient and doesn't work with Win 7. Then I was laughing at Damn you Autocorrect and accidentally hit the snap pic button. LOL

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  47. My friend, I love your comment! Actually, I am going to write it down in my book ;o) Big Hugs ;o)

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  48. Some accidents are just lovely!

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  49. You make me feel all wise and stuff lol

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  50. ljrich1/18/2012

    Thank you, luv! <3

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  51. debilynn211/18/2012

    This post reminds me of my dearest friend, who is absolutely obsessed with her looks.  She actually told me, one day, that when her looks are gone she didn't want to go on living.  I hope she didn't really mean it, but I'm honestly not sure.

    I, on the other hand, have many silver strands, and adore each and every one!  I view them as badges of honor.  I've been blessed to share in the lives of many wonderful people, to laugh with them, to cry with them, and to worry about them.  Each grey hair, and ever line on my face reminds me of those stories, and I treasure them all. They also remind me of my grandmother who had a beautiful white patch right in front of her head, as if it had been put there on purpose.  She had her hair done every week, but never had that patch dyed.  I guess it really made an impression on me. 

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  52. Oh Magaly, love love love this post. So very true, every word. Your past love is lucky you didn't double your fist and bruise more than his ego. I'd have loved to see your gorgeous red fairy dress against your beautiful tattoos.

    I must tell you how these words have truly helped me.  Nearly 7 years ago just before I was diagnosed with lupus I began losing my hair, which was down to my butt, in dime size clumps and each time I dyed it to cover the gray, my scalp would break into a rash and burn for weeks. Thankfully, about 3 months after I began treatment and had steroid shots injected into my head, all of my hair grew back but I had to cut it nearly Jamie Lee Curtis short as the weight of it was not helping with my alopecia.

    To make a long story short, I realized I could no longer use hair dye and had to cut as many chemicals from my life as possible because my immune system was not accepting them. I have not colored my hair since and though it is very healthy, shiny, soft, cut in a sassy short do which looks cute with dangly earrings, I am sometimes self conscious about having salt and pepper hair. But reading this post, and really hearing what you express about cronedome and the silver glass, well it just gives me a new attitude. Thank you so much my beautiful friend. Love to you always, Mina

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  53. Beautiful post Magaly! I haven't found any greys yet, but I did notice I have laugh lines around my mouth and I was so effing happy about it! Hubby laughs at me all the time because I still look like I'm 16 and now that I have a few lines, I'm starting to look my age (24). It doesn't bother me that I look so young or knowing that eventually, my body will grow old. My mother is 50 and she still looks like she's in her late 30's so I know I'll age well as long as I take care of myself better than she did. Unfortunately, the older women in my family (except my grandma) were always very spiteful towards me about my looks. I've never had to pluck or tweeze or dye my hair (although I like experimenting with my hair). I've always been a size 2-6, even after having a baby. I have curves in all the right places and long, wavy hair. But instead of my family being loving, they would always try to find a way to put me down. Like saying I'll always be looked down upon because I look so young. That they hope one day I'll wake up and realize I'm not as "perfect and pretty" as I believe I am. That they couldn't wait to see how I would react to a gray hair or wrinkles.. What a sad bunch of women!!! I love my lines and I know I'll love my grays, especially when they highlight my awesome auburn hair.... I've never understood vanity and it seems I attract those people most in my life.. Or maybe it's that THEY attract ME so they can learn a lesson or two about finding their own inner beauty instead of relying on what the outside world sees...

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  54. SunshineShelle1/19/2012

    Look at this post, and look at all these wise beautiful women... I've read each & every reply, and they are wonderful... Magaly, perhaps your reaction may have been wrong (in hindsight) about your handsome ex, becoming distressed you got more attention than he (very honest of you, but you were visually DAZZLING, I pictured you in my head LOL...) but it sounds like it never may have worked, I really can't see you ever accepting superficial over substance, and a man (or woman) that obsessed over dispensing a grey hair... I can't imagine how simple life is if that is a concern, and Pianoman, you needed to be free for Pianoman... I worked many years with models, they are fragile, and their talent (& what they were paid for) was to look good... they did... but give me someone whose talent grows, who get's better, wiser, more accomplished, with their talents as they age... crap most the people I adore have a head full of grey hair, & I never even realised until now ;)

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  55. I, too, hope she doesn't mean it. The idea of leading a life with that thought in mind must terrifying. 

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  56. You've just made me very happy... and maybe a bit teary-eyed, too.

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  57. Use the power for good... I remember one time I had to give a speech of philosophy of religion, it was a bit of a unofficial debate Traditional vs Eclecticism. The guy I had to "debate" against was in his sixties and as narrow-minded and sexiest as you can imagine. The moment he looked at me, a grin crawled up his ugly face. I held my grounds and might have given him one of my 'Yes, I'm female, young and stupid, oh great Testicle Lord.' He was so busy rejoicing in the fact--according to him--that some kid had nothing on him that he didn't pay attention. By the time I was done with him, he look like a baby who had crapped in his diaper and no one was willing to change him. I felt powerful and I was okay with that. Yep, the trick is to use the power for good lol

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  58. Mina made happy and you filled my heart with something warm and delicious that I can't even describe. Yes, friend of mine, you are so right; I  needed to be free for my Piano Man!

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  59. I hope that I'll be as proud of my gray hairs when I start getting them. I think I will be.

    My mom calls hers badges of honor. Either that or she says that she earned each one and she's keeping them. (She did turn them into red highlights once, but got bored with that and they're allowed to do their own thing now.)

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  60. I bet you'll be proud. 

    Your mom sounds very wise ;-)

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  61. laurak1/30/2012

    i don't mind the gray...i have a hair or two...but mostly i'm surprised i don't have a headful by now!!

    (and thanks so much for all your words of encouragement & support...i'm doing better...sometimes life's a beach...i mean a bitch...)

    bring on the gray!! i'm ready!!

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  62. Bring on the grays, indeed, and the surprises, too!

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