Looking Back…

I’ve reread many of my old posts… Some left me giggling, a few crying, and many of them made me go, “My goodness, I’ve grown quite a bit these last few years.” The exercise also helped me decide not to change a thing about my old entries. Remember how I had planned to edit everything? Well, I won’t.

I enjoyed the opportunity of looking back and seeing how I’ve changed, and in what ways I remain the same witchy writer. Some of the changes are not actual changes; not really. Realization and self-understanding are better descriptions for what I’ve gone through.

For instance, in my answers to a meme I posted on January 2011, I said that Sin/Nanna was my patron god and Hekate my patroness goddess. I remember how uneasy I felt when I responded to those questions, but I didn’t know why. Today, I know: I don’t really have a patron god or patroness goddess. I identify with Sin, The Green Man, Hekate and The Morrigan, but I see them as different aspects of One Devine that needs no gender division.

So… I haven’t really changed. It wasn’t that a year ago I believed those gods were my patrons and I’ve changed my mind; no. The truth is that I didn’t understand what my heart already knew. It took me some time to see it.

I also like comparing my 2009 writing to that of today. This was the part that made me giggle the most. Posts and stories that used to take me hours to compose; now they take less than a third of the time. And the writing is tighter and more reflective of what I want to convey.

A writer friend advised me to strip my blog of “bad grammar, sloppy syntax, weak writing structure, and anything that might lead a reader to believe that I’m anything less than a serious author in the making.” I know she means well, so I’ll follow some of her advice. I’ll edit and probably develop selected titles from the short fiction I’ve written for Pagan Culture, but I’m leaving my other posts alone.

I learned something else. I used to think that I didn’t have a diary, but what’s Pagan Culture if not my journal?

Do you treat your blog as a personal, artistic or work journal? Has your blogging theme changed since your began sharing your thoughts with the world?

Now back to writing fiction. I left my main character in a terrible mood… in the middle of her kitchen garden… holding a machete… I don’t remember seeing any weeds. She might behead the lettuce… or the garlic. Um, did I just hear a peppery scream? 
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51 comments:

  1. I'm glad you didn't change anything Magaly, because just think, then you wouldn't be able to go back and see how you've grown later ! I often want to change stuff when I go back and read my embarrassing journals, sometimes I even gringe and throw them away, but I'm going to try not to do that anymore. Yep I think the blogs are journals for us and yes mine has changed even though its only been up for less than a year still ( I'll have to check,lol!). First it was intended to discuss petroglyghs and now it has become mainly a Paint Party Friday forum. Maybe in the future I will have time to write more in it daily. It is most certianly a journal for me and sooooo fun sharing! Its good that you decided to go back and edit the fiction stories though if ya want ( even though I thought they were wonderful already) because editing is such good practice, which reminds me I've almost left that poor childrens novel of mine in the dust because I got soooooo discouraged with the editing! Thanks for the reminder I really need to get back to that.lol!!!!! Hugs Deb

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  2. I hope you don't edit too much, sweetie. I adore your writing style and your honest posts. Your my pick-me-up when I need it most. Hugs!

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  3. Hahaha....love that pic :D
    I am glad you chose not to change your past posts.....just like it would be wrong to change your past life. The mistakes we make are what make us, and as bloggers we have the luxury of being able to relive those mistakes with a wry smile :)
    When I first started blogging I kept my private thoughts to myself, and was overly careful not to say anything that others may not like...now I write exactly what I'm thinking, and allow others  to share moments of emotion. Like in real life...if they don't want my true opinion they shouldn't ask me :D XXX

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  4. Rachel Wright1/27/2012

    WOW see I love this post. I wound up deleting all my former old posts that had negativity. I should have kept them for growth. HMMPPHHH
    I am glad you are keeping this as a journal. Mine is also a journal for me to heal with, until I started blogging I didn't realize how much pent up stuff I had going on.
    Now I see it and have grown tremendously.

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  5. I vote for beheading the lettuce.

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  6. my blog is my personal journal, written for my descendants hopefully generations from now, for those who might wonder what great great great granny was like.

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  7. brandi1/27/2012

    ~magaly...a touching post my friend...i every so often reread through old post but never edit...it is interesting to see how it all began and where it has lead...just as you have discovered...leave them as they are...a gift from all the ups and downs that life brought your way...you can see yourself and how you have evolved...which leaves you with something to grow with...my space i think is a mix of all...diary or journal per say...artistic space to share when i feel...a jumble i guess...i have always loved stumbling over for a visit...good words or bad...incorrect grammer or not...pish...its your space to be as you wish...be well and protect the pepper! much love light and blessings~

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  8. Being that I'm on my fourth blog after deleting the first 3, I'd say I've changed : )  I used the first as a jumping board.  The second and third were so deep and personal that I ended up feeling exposed to the point I became a weeeee bit paranoid (who me?).  I also kept all three of those secret from my family and friends (not because I'm in the broom closet, but because I talked about them and didn't want to piss them off).  My latest blog is all me.  I'm lettin' it all hang out and have sent it to my family and friends.  The funny thing is.....only one of them reads it!  Stinkers.

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  9. I was tempted to edit my old posts when I went back through them to add labels. I didn't though. My writing was awful in a lot of them, my use of the "f" word a bit too frequent sometimes, and my spelling too dreadful to think about. But I felt it wouldn't be right to change them, because that's how I wrote them. The thing is, though editing stories - especially those meant for publication - is a good idea, I see no reason why a blog should be polished to perfection. People change as they grow, and they grow with time. To edit old posts, I think, is to refuse to acknowledge that you were different then; to refuse to accept that you've grown and changed, despite the fact that you - and those you are close to - know you have done so.
     
    My blog is partially to share my writing, and partially just a... Well, not a personal diary as such, because my truely personal diary would never be made available to the public, but it is about me. Let's call it the public portion of my personal diary. Yes, I think that would work.
     
    A peppery scream? Oh dear...

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  10. Also, I think your posts are often better edited than some books.

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  11. FayeDewell1/27/2012

    Thought provoking question. Is my blog a journal? In a way, yes, but in a way, no. I often feel like my blog is a veiled journal of sorts, like if you read between the lines, you'll find what I'm really thinking about on a deeper level, but it's not always immediately apparent. Ironically though, some of my favourite posts to go back and reread are the ones in which I let more of me and my world show through, typos and swear words and all! 

    I often end up missing my "personal" journal, because honestly, given all the projects I do... who has the time? But you're right, this space is part of bigger, broader narrative of my life, which is pretty fantastic!

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  12. My friend, I am glad you didn't change anything! This is you! We all grow ;o) I know even for myself, I thought I was going to have my blog just for my art, but now, I do see it more as a journal too! Have a great weekend ;o) Love your screaming pepper!!! LOL!

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  13. salemwitchchild1/27/2012

    I've said it before and I'll say it again. Your blog is one of my favorites to read. Never a dull moment on Pagan Culture. *wink* I wouldn't want you to change a thing.

    I also like to re-read my blog. I also see it as a journal and as a medium for teaching what I know best. I know my grammar isn't perfect and that's OK. We all make mistakes and I do not have to be perfect to be happy with my writing.

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  14. I'm glad you didnt change things. I thought about doing the same thing last year but opted not to touch any of it because it would be like getting rid of pieces of myself. The bad, along with the good is what makes us who we are & sometimes it's not all proper grammar. Haha.

    I'd say my blog is more of a life journal/idea dumping ground. I mean, you've seen it, there's A LOT of randomness going on there. Also, I'm quite curious to know what your main character did with that knife...

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  15. My blog has always been a form of essential catharsis. If I wasn't able to make up shit and write it here it would all back up in my head like some kind of literary retrograde emesis and I've already got enough crap up there. Most of what I write is an embellishment of a factual situation and some of it's just down right fiction but I find if I don't write these things down at some point I start to suffer from auditory and visual daytime psychotic breaks from reality ala Alley McBeal.
    Like that last part.
    Total BS.

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  16. SunshineShelle1/27/2012

    Chaotic mess... I would never think of re-editing mine, that's like wasting time on handwashing the dishes that come out of the dishwasher LOL... I always wondered why you had set up that task for yourself, I'm pleased you are remaining you, with only a small edit here & there... I know that advice was professional about bad grammer, sloppy syntax & other stuff I have no idea about, but it sorta takes the personality out, I like the way you are a real person who isn't afraid to change their mind or their fav goddess, I like the way people evolve, & they don't have to wipe out the written history that may support they weren't put on earth with these fully formed ideas that have never changed or developed... 
    My blog, I keep the inlaws/sister-in-law in the closet, F*ck a Duck, if I wrote about them and they found out, well Sh#t a Brick, anyway I don't want them to seep into my blog, I have their names in ice in the freezer section of my fridge at the moment, I don't want to give them any space in my blog, well not yet, although I may write a horror/comedy based on past interaction with them at some stage... anyway I guess the only other thing I really check myself on is my F*ckin' swearing... but that's it ;)

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  17. absynthe_and_arsenic1/28/2012

    Please go save the veggies... THE INNOCENT VEGGIES!!! @_ @ 
     
    Ahem. Thanks for the wishes for good luck with my move & organizational attempts... I shall most definitely need all the luck I can get... ^-^

    XOXO

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  18. LynThurman1/28/2012

    I'm glad you didn't edit too. I've been tempted to go over my blog from time to time but then decided it was more important to read my evolution than have polished writing.  I think there's something much more honest and real with life/blogs without edits ;-)

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  19. I would think that as long as you are getting better in your writing that showing everything but not editing it would be a showcase of how you've grown as a writer and a person. Hope you don't change too much!

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  20. lilacwolf1/28/2012

    I don't think you should touch your older entries.  They really are a snapshot of that time.  I'm not going to think you are any more serious about being an author if you go back and fix every little thing on your blog...I'm going to think you are serious about your OCD.  ;)

    As for my blog over the last couple of years...1st off I'm more surprised I've had it that long.  It doesn't seem like it.  And yes, my writing has changed.  I didn't start Lilac Wolf and Stuff to be all about book reviews.  I started to to share my opinions and whatever I felt like writing about - that's what the "and stuff" was about.  Now it's pretty much all book reviews and a few guest blogs.  But I have to say I'm loving it more than ever.

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  21. My blog has definitely changed since I started writing it. I'm not sure how to explain it, though. I guess my writing has matured and I've changed. I'm not the same person I was three (or four?) years ago. (How long have I had it going anyways?)

    I tend to treat my blog as a public journal, though I sometimes use it as a way to communicate things that I've already put in my diary. Yes, I also have a diary, and I put stuff in it that I would never ever put on my blog. :)

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  22. Lisa Wright1/29/2012

    When I started my blog is was a response to a need to practice writing as many days a week as I could - I wanted to be a writer. Now I can truthfully say I am. I earn my living with my words and that feels great. I think blogging was a wonderful invention for us writers - to encourage us to put out there all that was inside us..

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  23. Guess what? I was thinking about you a few days ago. About that time we kind of discussed you as a majestic lady telling stories around a fire. The image keeps on coming back to me. I think it wants to be written ;-)

    Now, will you ever share a bit of that children's novel with us?

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  24. I'll keep it low maintenance, I mean, honest, and not change a thing lol

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  25. I guess going over our minds and sharing bits about ourselves is like going over our closets, huh? We finally see what's really in there, and even get a chance to organize things. 

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  26. Oh there was some serious beheading and slashing. 

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  27. I wish my grandma had something like this, but she didn't know how to write. She used to sing all the time. It wasn't until I was in my late teens that I realized that the cools lyrics I had never heard were tales about her life. A journal in songs, I guess. I remember most of them and have been making notes.

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  28. You make me feel good about my precious little mess. The pepper is no more lol

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  29. My brother is always complaining that he doesn't know what I'm doing because I don't call enough. I tell him, "You could  read my blog and keep an eye on me." I have been saying this for about, well, a long time... he still doesn't know what I'm doing most of the time. Stinker lol

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  30. Now I better go back and read all your "f" bombs ;-)

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  31. I think I've just blushed.

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  32. Mm, I'm all for reading between the lines ;-D

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  33. I love what your blog has become.

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  34. You are too sweet, and I'm glad that, like me, you, too, are imperfect. Those who believe themselves perfect can be quite insufferable, and my goodness, how they love to smite things lol 

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  35. "Sometimes it's not all proper grammar." I like that.

    And I shall share what Alma Mia did with her knife... one of this days. 

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  36. I love your embellishments, my luv.

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  37. Mm, a horror/comedy about insufferable in-laws. Can't wait!

    And I know exactly why I gave myself the task, I learn by doing. Or in this case, by seeing that some things shouldn't be done because, well, they are kind of dumb. 

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  38. "Innocent"? There is nothing innocent about this veggies ;-)

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  39. You are right. There are times when what oozes from my brain makes little sense, but it is still mine, right?

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  40. I agree and like that you see it, too.

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  41. I am VERY serious about my OCD lol

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  42. I've seen you changing, and I like it ;-)

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  43. Indeed. Blogging is a great way to exercise the process of stringing ideas together and keeping people interested. 

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  44. I'm so glad you left your entries as is. It's a beautiful thing to have a map of everywhere you've been. Some places will have stars, some crosses, but all of them a rich memory of becoming who you are today; a beautiful soul filled with wild magic and a whole lot of love. Hugs sweetie.  

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  45. salemwitchchild1/29/2012

    They could start by smiting themselves. :P

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  46. Great minds, think alike =]

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  47. Our past marked with stars and crosses... I like that.

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  48. ljrich1/31/2012

    Slowly my blogging theme has evolved into just a mishmash of topics I didn't even have any intention to write about. I started as a "green living" blogger. Now, I'm all about disaster prep with a witchy twist and coated with some firey rants. Or is that fire ants? One of the two. LOL

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