Kissing the Witch

“…live me in words, Mags.” I’ll tell you about this phrase in just a bit. First let me share some logistics. Life must go on, right?

Witchy Books Reading Challenge – I will review and add titles to my list as I go, but I’ll publish a collective review post, near the end of every month.

“Are You Okay” Messages – I want to thank those of you who have emailed or messaged me via Facebook and Twitter to ask if I’m okay. I would love to respond to every single email right away, but there are a lot of you—this makes me giggle between tears because I can be quite the sensitive silly Witch. Yes, I’m okay. I promise. And I’ll answer your individual emails soon.

LGBT Reading Challenge 2012 – I’m very excited about this new reading challenge, hosted by Natazzz (isn’t this the coolest nickname ever?). I spent the last six months studying gay identity in literature, and the experience left me wishing for more.

That is the first reason why I want to read more LGBT books… the second has to do with the words I quoted above… a friend of mine, a beautiful and loveable young man, traveled to the Summerlands a couple of weeks ago. No blood relative showed to his bedside during his last moments. Only a witchy friend and a goodhearted rabbi held his hands as my friend let go of flesh and embraced spirit.

I called his family and told them he was in his last moments. At first, everybody refused to go to the hospital. They belong to an orthodox religion that has no love for the gay man whose blood they share. In the end, the mother and sister decided to visit him. They didn’t make it in time.

The father told me, “My son died to me and to God when he touched another man in a degenerate way.” To you, sir… to you, sorry excuse for a parent, and even poorer pretext for a human being, I say, SHAME on you a 1000 times! I hope loneliness and guilt suits you. I’m glad J-Man was nothing like you. I will also tell you that although individuals like you walk around in shells that house rotting souls, the child you rejected will never die. He lives in the hearts of the people who loved—and still love—him.

Today, I honor J-Man by sharing and following his last words: “Don’t let me die, Witch. Don’t let him and his reading of holy words kill me. I know God, my God, my Maker… the One who gave me enough love to share with whoever I chose… I know that God made me right. Don’t let Father trick people into believing I wasn’t here, ‘cause I was. And I loved so much, didn’t I? I know you’ll live me in words, Mags; live me in words.” 

Yes, J-Man, I’ll live you in words and in light…
Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins was J-Man’s favorite book.
I used to tease him about liking the book, say, “You are a lesbian trapped in the soul of a gay man.”

He would go on one of his Emma Donoghue rants, and tell me, “No, Mags, I’m the brother of the spinster. I’ve pricked my fake skin with a needle, and let out my real voice. So come kiss me, Witch.”

He had 1013 ways of citing his favorite, retold, fairy tales. I’ll miss them all

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54 comments:

  1. Slommler12/15/2011

    How sad that a father couldn't embrace and love his only son.  Very sad indeed!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  2. Bless you for being there for this loving young man. As a parent of all boys, I have always been open to the possibility that one or both may turn out to be gay. As to now, neither has made any announcement, but it is an irrelevance to any loving parent. I've raised my boys to be loving people, who they choose to love is their business, and I will love them and their partners(whoever they choose). I feel such pain for J-mans family...for the love they could have had and now never can XXX

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  3. Linda Wildenstein12/15/2011

    Sorry for your loss of a dear one. It is never easy to lose someone close. I can't even wrap my head around not accepting and lvoing your own child no matter what crayon they are colored with in life. It sounds like that father cursed himself a long time ago. So happy you were there for your friend. Very proud of the strong minded, loving witch you are. Oma Linda

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  4. Love, electronic hugs, and blessings to you and yours.

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  5. Crying. Bless you! All of you! and J-man... may his life in memory (and words) live forever. I'm so sorry for your loss and so glad you were there with him during his transition. ((HUG))

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  6. lilacwolf12/15/2011

    I'm not pleased with the mother either.  You had to "think" about going to your dying son?  I hope the afterlife isn't as Christians see it, because there are a lot of "Christians" who will be in deep trouble then.

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  7. So Sorry for your loss (she typed as she mopped her eyes)... and for his father's loss which hopefully he will discover even though too late...

    Your J-man is just fine after moving on to other places...

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  8. Sweet Zombie Goddess12/15/2011

    Being shunned by a parent is one of the most painful feelings in the world.  He is now in the loving arms of the God who loved him unconditionally.
    \IiiI

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  9. Sunshineshelle12/15/2011

    Very Sad, actually tragic, family are those who love you, friends also can be family Magaly, I'm sure you were a part of J-mans... the biological father, the mother, sister (?????) oh my, how sad for them... missing out on taking a role in the joy, pride & comfort they could have shared in the celebration of his life... it sounds like they used religion as an excuse to bolster their own personal prejudices of their own making, judging and condemning this sweet man on their less than Christian crusade, their lives, their souls continue to dim because of it, and your friend was still loved by those who were lucky enough to recognise the beauty in others, no matter how the package is wrapped.

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  10. Rest in peace, J-man. You lived your truth and there is no higher good than that.

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  11. Magaly, I am so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry that none of J-man's family was by his side! Shame on his father! J-man rest in peace.

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  12. Danielle Suplicki12/15/2011

    What a tragedy that such a beautiful person was taken while such a husk of one remained. May he shine ever so brightly down from the stars, continuing to share his love and light with you. May he rest in peace and may you find solace, dearest witch.

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  13. This hateful person who lives a life ruled by fear programming isn’t a parent.  And although I was raised Christian, the God I know is a God of Love.  How could God frown on Love?  We are all beings of energy and in the end we return to the source – energy.  All that matters is the Love we have inside and that we Love others.  Religious fanatics are simple minded limited people living limited lives.  What they don’t understand, they hate and what they hate they destroy.  Well, they didn’t destroy J-Man.  I didn’t know him and I thought he was beautiful.  I have two children and it matters not to me what their partners have in their undies.  That is not my business.  What matters to me is that they love my children in return and treat them well.
    You’re a good and loyal friend.  You have my heartfelt condolences in your time of sorrow.   

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  14. His death may be new but his situation is, sadly, very old.
    This made me cry.

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  15. I am very sorry for your loss, Magaly... Losing someone you love is never easy... You are a beautiful friend for being there for him during his last moments..

    As for his blood relatives (I can't bear to call them Family) I can't understand how they could do what they did to him. Family is supposed to love you and be there for you... Sometimes the friends you make are better than the family you were born in to... May your J-man find peace in the Summerlands..

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  16. I'm still very angry at the man, but not angry enough not to be sad at the thought that one of these days he might decide that he wants to embrace his child and will find nothing but emptiness. Sad...

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  17. Your children are very lucky. It is incredible and heartbreaking to say, but there are many parents who push away children they believe unclean. However, parents like you remind us all that the world is not totally broken.

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  18. Thanks, Oma, especially because you truly understand just how difficult this bit is for me at this  moment. I guess Fate throws us some pretty difficult to swallow signs at time. I feel She is telling me, "You better do what you must, Witch, or you might spend the rest of your days wishing you have."

    Thanks for the love. I send you mine, times three.

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  19. I've written very difficult posts in the past. But this one might have been the hardest one. I don't think I've been this angry at writing something before. I've been outraged, but never angry with someone for breaking a heart that was nothing but love.

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  20. I wasn't happy with the mother, but I understood that it took a lot for her to defy her husband and run to her child; even if at the last minute. She belongs to an orthodox religion were women don't have a lot of right. Today, that poor woman has her church and her family against her, just because she decided to love her child. It is a difficult situation. I don't excuse her or the sister, but I see where they are coming from.

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  21. I have the feeling he's making some pretty angels sing. He had the power of laughs...

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  22. Parents can make and break, and when some choose the former, the results are devastating. But you are right, J-Man is where he will be loved for him.

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  23. It was impossible to know J-Man and not love him right away. I wonder what fills the heart of those who called him "an aberration;" seriously, how can someone be so blinded by hatred disguised by what they call love not to notice the real thing? 

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  24. I'm sorry they missed the opportunity of knowing just how wonderful he was. Their loss, right?

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  25. Thanks, Danni. I know your words would have made him grin ;-)

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  26. The way some people interpret their holy teachings makes me sick. I don't understand how they can spit on love on the name of love for a god. Like you said, no loving god would hate. 

    The nastiness is all in the hearts of those who choose to reject in the name of devotion. Let's just hope that what they describe as hell is a myth, because if it is, there might not be enough space for all the one who'll burn.

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  27. Old indeed, I think that is what makes it so despicable. I doubt this will make you feel any better, but I'm crying, too.

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  28. I think the best family is the one one chooses. Blood is thicker than water, but the consistency of real love is beyond measure. 

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  29. How sad that people believe in such a hateful god.  how sad for the father who turned his back on his son.  his son knew love, the father never will.

    my husband's father disowned him/us 14 years ago.  why?  because our daughter got pregnant by the man she was living with.  he called us to say how terrible that was, that he wanted us to tell him to convince her to get an abortion and then get out of her life for $5000.  I told him no, that she was happy about being pregnant, when he said the same to my husband, my husband just laughed at him.  he has not spoken to us since and those rare occasions when we are in the same room, we might as well be invisible to him.  my daughter is still with her husband, they have four wonderful kids and that nasty old man doesn't know any of his great grandchildren.  so who's the loser here?  not us, not my daughter, not her kids.  

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  30. Ello Ello Queen Darling, I don't know if you got my email so I wanted to stop in and apoligize for not stopping in lately. Work has been crazy, thankfully the shelter is closed for a couple of days which gives us all time to relax for a bit until we open next week. I want to wish you and yours a truly blessed yule, I hope that the little Princess'es dreams all come true and I even pray for the Piano man, I need not spend more prayers on you because I know that all your dreams are already here.  Happy Holidays and Blessed Yule love, May Santa and the Fey Queen bring you all joy and a new year filled with blessings a splendor.

    Love Syn

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  31. lilacwolf12/16/2011

    Ok, that makes a difference.  That's plain awful all around.

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  32. Shame on his family for turning their backs on him just because of his preferences. You can''t choose who your heart belongs to, and it makes me angry when people turn their backs on their own family - their own children especially - because their choices don't fall in with what the rest of the family believe. Any God or Goddess would look in to the heart of the person and see the beauty in there; not caring about sexual preference or whatever. I only wish the same could be said for human beings. This is why I always say that animals are wiser than humans; they can see past such trivial things. Keep him alive Mags; make him proud!
     
    Oh, and... I'll point out reviews of any witchy books I read when you do your monthly update posts; that way though I'm not participating in the challenge I can still share the magical books with anyone interested in my reviews. OK?

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  33. salemwitchchild12/17/2011

    Oh darlin hugs to you. How sad that any parent would turn their back on their child. And such silly reasons too. But what a gift of words he's given you in his final moments. It certainly brings tears to my eyes.

    Love and Light darlin,

    Robin

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  34. In the Christian mythos, isn't there a parable about the stone rejected by the builder that became the foundation of something great? This gentle man, rejected by his father, probably had greater influence on those who knew him (and are just now learning of him) than  his pitiless father, restricted by rigid fanatacism, could ever hope to achieve.

    I weep for your anguish. 

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  35. I just will never understand how a parent could turn their backs on their children simply for having different beliefs, or for being different in any way. Horrible people. It's those people that should not have children. They should be stricken barren and impotent every single freaking, bloody one of them. They should be plagued with issues that prevent them from adopting, or otherwise acquiring a child to abuse mentally. Such filth.....parents like that man are filth. I have no patience for things like that.

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  36. Oh Magaly, I cannot imagine any parent turning their backs on their children over issues of whom they choose to love. This just makes my heart bleed and yes, shame on them 1,000 times and more.

    You are a kind and beautiful soul and I am so thankful that you were there with him in those last breaths that words left his lips. Peace be with you, sweetie.

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  37. Sometimes I spend a lot of time paying attention to the behavior of certain people; I try to put myself in their place... but no matter how much I try, I can't understand why they act so terribly. How can someone be so blindly evil? It is a shame, and like you said, they are the ones who lose. They will be the ones forever alone.

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  38. Glad to know you are doing alright. I've been quite busy myself.

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  39. I'm sure many of us will contribute in keeping him alive. He did love many, and when that stamp is left in someone's heart, it stays and grows.

    I shall list your reviews ;-)

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  40. It is almost unbelievable. I can hardly believe that anyone--not just a parent--turn their backs on another human being, especially when the person in question is so amazing.

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  41. I've always said that some worshipers fill their gods with shame and sadness. This man is a nasty example of that.

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  42. Isn't it strange how a being so incredible can come out of such garbage? The universe is very strange...

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  43. I'm lucky. I meet amazing people who remind me that the nasties out there are not the norm, but just a disgusting anomaly. Thanks for being you, Mina.

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  44. salemwitchchild12/18/2011

    Ah well to me it's very believable. But then again people hurting others has been a re-occurrence in my life. Especially family. Which is why I don't trust people. Call me jaded, but it is what it is.

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  45. I wish I could say I don't know what you mean, especially in the bit about getting hurt by close relatives; it's just that I can't understand what drives a person to be so despicable. 

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  46. salemwitchchild12/18/2011

    If other peoples families are anything like mine, self-absorption and selfishness for the most part. Followed closely by greed.

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  47. You've hit the nail on the head, and hammered it all the way in.

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  48. gergininaki12/19/2011

    I am so sorry for your loss!  I am also sorry i did n't read about it earlier. Blessed he be in the Summerlands. I can not tolerate the idiotic people like your friend's father. I am sorry that they have such room in our society. My teacher  just today told me that he has never talked about his sexual preferences with his family and most of his friends. Hetalked to me about the hurtful reactions he had experienced in  the past whenever he tried to open up. I could not believe it! How can it be? Why does it matter to them? And in a way to hurt the people they love. Why? As i mentioned before i do not tolerate intolerance. When it comes to beliefs, or religion i find it outrageous, but when it comes to sexual preferences it is absolutely insane. How can anyone debate someone's very existence and humanity? 

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  49. AutumnWind12/20/2011

    I am so sorry for your loss!! What a loving tribute to your friend. It is sad that his blood family did not love and accept him for the obviously amazing man that he was. My hope is that one day people will realize that it isn't WHO you love, it is THAT you love ;0) Take care friend!

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  50. I'm right with you. What bothers me most is how these terrible people act like hateful idiots and then pretend they are doing it out of respect to a loving god. What a load of crap!

    You tell your teacher that he is loved by those who count, and whoever rejects him probably doesn't deserve him anyway.

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  51. "
    it isn't WHO you love, it is THAT you love" indeed!

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