My Tale through Scars

Through scars, my body tells tales of my past, present and future. My skin—and the shapes contain within it—speaks of loss, transformation, gain, love, identity… it shows the story of who I am.

I love all my bits. But that wasn’t always the case…

I used to wear shirts with buttons that went all the way to my chin. I wanted to hide a scar in the middle of my chest. I loved shorts and miniskirts, but didn’t wear them; doing so would reveal the scars on my right shin, left calf, both thighs and knees, arms… Someone might ask how I got the marks, and I didn’t want to tell that tale.

Then I grew wiser and realized I could shape my own story. I told myself that I would take ownership of my scars and show them how to tell my story.

Today, if someone asks, “Oh my, that’s a big scar. How did you get it?”

I would tell them, “You think that one is big, look at this one, isn’t it awesome? I like this one better because it taught me that pain is temporary, but the scars that remind me of how brave I was when I got them, those stay forever.”

Some people might say that I avoided answering the question. And they are half right, for I evaded an inquiry and answer another. I responded to the question that told the tale I wanted to tell. Wanna know why? Because my life is mine, my Wicked Luvs, and I will tell my story my own way.

On her last Get Off Your Broom post, Serenity challenged us to share the reasons why we were part of a fitness challenge. Were our reasons health related, psychological, physical, romantic…? I thought about this for a long while and decided that I’m working out because of all of the above… and a bit more.

I love the skin that tells my story through scars, and I want to keep it as close to its original shape as possible. Also, exercise is great for my asthma, to keep excess pressure from my stress-fractures-overwhelmed feet, from my messed up hip, and so on and so on... It also keeps my Piano Man smiling with love and lust; I adore that man and what his smile does for my body and soul.

What keeps you off the broom and working out, my Wicked Darlings?   

My Stats
Week 6
Bust – 36”
Bust – 34.5” *sigh*
Waist – 29.5”
Waist – 28”
Hips – 38.5”
Hips – 37.5”
Left big toe with adorable glittery fingernail – 3.25”
Left big toe without adorable glittery fingernail – 3.25 ”
I forgot to weight myself... again. 
My pentacle hanging above the scar on my chest
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51 comments:

  1. I haven't had many 'good-girl-days' lately, but I'm trying to stay off that broom. My reasons for doing it are:

    * My own well-being
    * My long term health
    * That it'll get easier to find clothes
    * To push knee replacement surgeries as far into the future as possible
    * To reduce the strain on my back
    and I'm sure there are more reasons I can't think of right now.

    I have a lot of scars as well, but few of them show when I have clothes on. I've never been self-conscious about them. But one could have been a lot smaller if the doctor had done a better job. I've got a 5 inch scar on my lower back, that should have been shorter than an inch if he'd used another method.

    My body shape and mood governs what I wear, not my scars. But if i had any large ones in places showing, I'm at a place now where I couldn't care less if people see them :) I'm me, scars and all.

    I haven't measured in a while, I should probably do that today. The scales aren't my friend these days. Maybe the measuring tape is nicer to me.

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  2. Our scars speak of our past, and depending on the circumstances they can be badges of courage and strength... and motherhood :)

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  3. Diandra Linnemann11/12/2011

    I've got small scars all over my body and with most of them, I do not even remember where I got them. Yeah, the appendix surgery and that one time I stuck my foot through a bicycle wheel while the bike was in motion... those I remember. All the others? Well. (I heal really bad, even the cat scratches look as if someone came after me with a butcher's knife.)

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  4. SunshineShelle11/12/2011

    Cool Post Ms W, well I have scars, but I don't care too much, skin cancers mainly over my chest, across my face (friggin' Irish/Stottish descent skin in Queensland not a perfect match) & a couple of others but hell don't pay my bills being a model ;) Visually I love Rubenesque or at least curvaceous women because they seem, well more like women LOL, so even if thin, the boobs & butts still should poke out where there supposed too ;)  love drawing those curves, I could do with getting off the broom (or off my A) I guess I'm a stonish over my sweetest weight but that's still half stone under what I was when I did the crazy Israeli diet at 17 years of age before my debute/grad (maybe time to eat nothing but apples again, shame I love cheese so much)... anyway, kudus to you, your fitness regime is to be congratulated & I do believe that no matter what size/height/age the fitness level is important, you are inspirational, I think what you are doing is brilliant (even though you already looked hot girl)! 

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  5. Through exercise, I've avoided surgery since 2002, so I understand your reasons all the way to the bone... and to the tendons lol. 

    And the tape has always been nicer to me, let me know  how it treats you.

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  6. I get kilods. If I had a scratchy cat, my body would probably tell a very loud story ;-)

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  7. I can see your love of curves in your drawings; it translates into pure beauty and I love it. And cheese is the main source of sustenance in our house lol. The day I found out how much my Piano Man liked cheese, I knew it was love ;-)

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  8. :::hanging head::: I don't workout but I am making changes in my health.  The working out is going to be something I grasp onto next month.  I'm doing a few things each month so as not to overwhelm myself with a bunch of changes which usually ends up with me completely rebelling and gaining weight.

    I have crazy stretch marks on my stomach from pregnancy and at first way embarassed by them.  The I became a belly dancer dancing with women smaller and bigger than me, all bare bellied without coverups.  I was so inspired by their pride in their bodies that I too danced bare bellied.  It is liberating and makes me feel proud that I carried my son and these are the scars that remind me that he was in there.

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  9. jonquil11/12/2011

    a friend brags about his childhood scars...he's quite the storyteller & loves to outbrag anyone else with a scar ;)   i don't own a scale, i go by how my clothes fit.  &, yes, it's about time i got back into workingout...

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  10. Wow that was a powerful post! I only have one scar 9 inches from pubic bone to navel. It's been 2 years since my surgery and I am just starting to heal fully. I have "amazing " healing abilities( I know that sounds conceited, but I have), but that means that I don't know I'm ill til it's killing me. I present as Asymptomatic which meant my routine operation took 3 hours, 2 surgeons, and resulted in my loosing 6 and a half pints of blood.
    I have now taken charge of my body again(got bored waiting for Drs) I have started a keep fit regime, taken control of my diet, and started practising my faith again.
    My scar is healing rapidly now...the lower 5 inches is barely visible, just the weight issue to sort now and my life is my own again :D XXX

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  11. Linda Wildenstein11/12/2011

    You are amazing....I am so impressed with all you get done

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  12. Danielle Suplicki11/12/2011

    Someone once told me, scars are like a road map detailing our trip through this life. I've always tried to take that to heart, for both the physical and emotional ones. While I'm not proud of why some of them are there, I am proud of the life I've led since them and I often have tried to come up with ways to answer people's inquiries in a non-snappy yet honest way. I love your approach, I'm gonna have to try it. :)

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  13. LynThurman11/12/2011

    I wouldn't have noticed the scar on your chest if you didn't point it out. I sometimes wonder if our scars are more visible to ourselves than others. 

    I agree with Danni that they're a road map and we wouldn't be wonderfully, wicked witches today without them. I used to hate my stretch marks until my husband, before we were married, told me they were beautiful because there were soul lines.  Scars, stretch marks... all the same :-)

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  14. About time you decided not to let these things bother you...they are badges of honor...you've lived life...my life has been too tame ...

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  15. Your scars are beautiful! They are you ;o) Show them off! You should be very proud of your fitness and goals you have accomplished! Yeh! I was a bad girl and I have to get back on to it! Majorly!!! For me!! As they say, you have to love yourself first, before you can love anyone else. How was the cheese and plantains? I bet yummy! Big Hugs ;o)

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  16. I think the most brave person was a peer in school who had burn scars on the majority of his face. If any bully mentioned them, he'd just turn around and say "well, at least I survived being burned alive, can you say that?" I don't think I've ever worried about scars since I met him; if he can carry them with pride, then I can carry my comparatively tiny ones too. (Even if most of mine are from being a complete klutz :) )

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  17. Slommler11/13/2011

    Hmmm!!  I am going to start embarrassing my scars as well!  Loved this and I applaud you my sweet!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  18. I think this is a wonderful post; and well done on the stats. Any change - big or small - is good, right?
     
    What keeps me off the broom? A burning desire that nobody will address if I don't drop a certain amount of weight. But you'll have to wait until I post about it to know more, since I doubt anyone has the time to search through all my old posts and find mention of it (it's scattered through many of them, but there are more than 2000 posts on my blog), so only those who have followed my blog for some time know. You'll know soon though, since I plan to mention it again very soon.

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  19. lilacwolf11/13/2011

    I've got scars I am proud of and scars that make me angry.  I had plastic surgery that promised to help my back but left me with self-esteem issues and continuing pain (although in a different spot).  Only my most intimate family members see these scars, and I'm lucky to have found a man who treats me with compassion instead of pity.

    It's great to see you stand up and be proud of the things that other people hide away.  And you should wear the clothes you love because, girl, you have the body go ahead and flaunt it.  You know that's what your piano man thinks too.  :)

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  20. Mina Crump11/13/2011

    Isn't it funny how people always ask such intimate questions? Curiosity? Nosiness? I always wonder, though what I wonder more, is why we feel we need to answer their every question. I LOVE the way you choose to respond. Our lives do not have to be an open book. Some things are just our very own... for whatever reason. And really, I think your scar makes you more mysterious and sexy.

    Huge congrats on your health regimen. You are amazing, my luv.

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  21. Ellen Abbott11/13/2011

    Our scars do remind us of our history.  I'd rather have a scar on my physical body than my emotional body.

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  22. ElleMoonGoddess11/13/2011

    you are beyond amazing

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  23. you are one awesome lady !

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  24. Thank you for sharing your scars with us.  I have a good and beautiful (both inside and out) friend who has large scars.  She has a few of them in her upper chest just like you, and like you she keloids.  The reason for the scars is because she has active Sickle Cell Disease and is hospitalized for two or more weeks on a regular basis.  The Doctors inserted a mediport for intravenous access. When it expires, it must be removed and a new one implanted in a new spot which results in more scars.
    She’s such a wonderful person that we don’t see scars even if they’re visible, we see her.  The same is with you, we see you.  The scars are part of you.  We don’t see scars.  And by the way, scars are not necessary ugly things.  I don’t know if I’m conveying it right but I hope the message got through. :o)

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  25. Autumnwind11/13/2011

    I love this post!! What a fantastic outlook and I prefer the way you deal with a personal question, nice, genuine and your reply doesn't make the person feel rude for asking a personal question to begin with LOL I agree, the scars that we carry are part of what has shaped who we are, regardless of how we got them - it is how they affect us that truly matters. thanks for stating that in such an eloquent way.

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  26. Scars with personality and deep meaning! 

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  27. Warrior scar tales, huh? Those are always fun to hear lol. Ditto on the scale bit.

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  28. I heal quickly, but scar terribly. Awesome you are such a good healer!

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  29. And you are too good to me ;-)

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  30. Will I get royalties when you use my methods? Tee hee. Just kidding, but yes, a long time I realized that it is easier to look at people in the eye and tell them what you want than to answer some of the questions they ask without even really wanting to know the answer.

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  31. Soul lines, how lovely... my Piano Man is great about my scars. Um, there are a few that only he can see and he seems to be quite fond of them.

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  32. It makes buying clothes so much easier ;-D

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  33. The cheese and plantains were yummy, and now I'm making cheesy mesquite stir fried veggies. My Piano Man is about to get home; I can't wait. We are cheese lovers in this house ;-)

    And I am proud of my life marks!  

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  34. The person who made me feel dumb first and then revived because of my scars was a Marine. He is missing both legs and part of his jaw, but happy as ever. I felt ashamed first, and then I realized that Fate was giving me a hand... and a good friend, too.

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  35. And I you my friend. I want pictures!

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  36. I think I was more afraid of the emotional scarring than the physical. But the second seemed to lead to the first, and thank the gods none of the two can hurt me anymore. It is a great feeling. Just as it is wonderful that the ones who matter love us exactly how we are ;-)

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  37. Some things are indeed just ours... and we choose to share them with a few. It seems that the ones who ask are never the ones who should. 

    Yay, amazing me lol

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  38. As are you, my dear. Hope all is well.

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  39. I know exactly what you mean. I hope your friend's keloided scars aren't painful or itchy. I also pray she is not in too much pain. 

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  40. Scars are like people, they only affect us until we let them. 

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  41. Dear Magaly, this post actually brought tears to my eyes. I love that you are so willing to show your scars, and tell your tale, I wish I had the courage and strength to do that. Blessed be Sister.

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  42. As the post reads, my dearest Syn, it took a while. These things take time; I'm sure we'll be exchanging tales about life-battle-wounds soon enough ;-)

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  43. I have a couple scars, but they're in places I couldn't show without being arrested.:D I agree though, scars tell the stories of our lives. 

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  44. Will do :) Keep avoiding the surgery :) I might have another one coming up for my shoulders.

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  45. My biggest scar is on a place where the sun don't shine; at least not very often :-D

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