I’ll rather not date anyone with children.
That sentence was part of my last online dating profile. It was a difficult sentence to write because I didn’t want anyone to think that I disliked children. Also, I didn’t want to write a whole paragraph about the specific reasons why I didn’t want to date dads. They were extreme to the point of sounding fabricated.
Here is what I didn’t write then: I was in a long time relationship with a guy who had to sleep at his ex’s house in order for her to let him spend more than a few hours with his son. I didn’t find out about this arrangement until we had decided to move in together. I ended the relationship soon after he said that he would not take legal action or find a healthier way to spend time with his child. I didn’t want to deal with that.
He wasn’t as terrible as the guy I almost married. He waited almost a year before he told me he had one child. I know what you are thinking “And you stayed with him after that?” Yes, my luvs. He told me that talking about his daughter was painful because she lived in a different country, and he hardly got to see her. Besides, I had made it very clear that I didn’t want to date fathers. He thought that if I just got to know him first, then you know… The news had an effect on trust, but I didn’t end the relationship. About a year later he told me he found out that he had another child. He hadn’t known about this baby, for it happened when he was very young and the girl never told him. Yes, my Wicked Darlings, you are right; he was lying again. I was young and dumb, so I believed him. Three years into the relationship, he told me he couldn’t spend the Winter Solstice with my friends and I because of a family emergency. He had to travel to his hometown. I, of course, said that I would cancel everything and go with him. “But you’ve put so much effort into this celebration. I would hate for you to miss it.” He looked so worried that night… “You are right,” I said. “I’ll meet you right after the Solstice, if you haven’t come home yet.”
I didn’t hear from him for three days. He didn’t answer his phone. My gut told me something had changed after his return. I talked to my best friend about it. I ended the engagement a few months after that. A year or so later, I found out he had traveled home to be present at the birth of another child of his. I was extremely happy I didn’t marry the lair, but I was just as sad to have been had. Again.
You might be wondering, “How did you end up with a guy with a daughter?!” Easy, my luvs, my Piano Man is different. This is one of the first pictures I saw in the online profile that brought us together:
Then I got to see him being a dad and I realized all fathers aren’t the same; my Piano Man makes fatherhood sexy and adorable. He knows the name of every Disney Fairy. He is closely acquainted with Strawberry Shortcake’s friends, pets, the names of her friend’s pets, the color of the glittery shoes every fairy and berry person wears, and enjoys watching The Glimmerberry Ball Movie over and over and over… okay, so to say he actually enjoys the content of the movie might be a stretch (Don’t you dare tell the little one!), but he is the happiest of daddies when he watches and re-watches it with The Princess.
How could he not? Look at this completely breathtaking (half-teeth-missing) smile:
Here is the enchanting double effect:
You might think that it can’t get better than this, but you are wrong. Things as awesome as smiles are more magical in threes, aren’t they?