Don’t Just Whip It Out

If you have been reading my blog for some time, you know that poetry and I have maintained a love-hate relationship in which poetry makes advances at me, tries to sweep me off my feet, sings me to sleep… and I try my best to just hate the biatch!

I’ve done all I can to hate poetry. I've even convinced myself that my professors are just mad poets who want to fill me with rhyme, poetic devises, and FREAKING poetry related homework until I burst!

A common factor about all unjustified intolerant behavior is that the hater is usually narrowed minded, has attached blinders so tightly against the side of the head that brain function suffers… basically and hater is 9.99 times out of 10, dead FREAKING wrong!

I am no different. I was so bent over backwards in my efforts to hate poetry that I wanted the teaching of the craft to be nonsensical and unfair. So when my poetry homework mandated the annotation of 4 long-as-all-holy-lies poems, a presentation on a school of poetry, and the memorization of enough material to drive anyone mad, I told myself “I knew it! Poets are crazy and they are out to get me. Two days is not nearly enough time to do all this work. Curse you synecdoche, onomatopoeia, enjambment and limerick! Curse you! Curse you! Curse you!”

I called my Piano Man and bitched about it, my perfect lover consoled me. I went to bed at 1am. Then I got at 4am to finish the last bit of  poetic torture. “Wait a FREAKING minute…” I told myself as I reread the instructions at 4 am-ish. Oh. My. Gods! I didn’t have to do all of that work; not even an 1/8 of it. Why didn’t I use common sense and emailed my professor and asked why I got so much work to finish in 2 days?

The answer is simple: I was following an old Marine Corps instruction that pertains to saluting officers, flags and landmarks: “When in doubt, whip it out!” meaning that if you can’t tell if the shiny thing on the Marine’s collar is an officer's rank insignia, just go ahead and salute. It is better to get laughed at for about 2 minutes, than to find yourself scrubbing your commanding officer’s toilet with a very tiny toothbrush, for a whole week.

Moral of this self-degrading story: when in doubt, don’t just FREAKING whip it out; ask someone!

I’m so sleepy… 

7 comments:

  1. oh no poor you.....stupid poetry xxx

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  2. Oh dear!! Sorry you had to go through all that work only to find out it wasn't necessary!! That sucks for sure! I think you need a nice long nap!!
    Then a nice long soak in the tub to soothe your frazzled nerves and muscles!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  3. As a poet I started off laughing, and by the end I was laughing for different reasons. I've done something similar myself. I once turned in an essay that I had worked hard on and apologized to the professor because it was a day or so late...only to find out it was a week early! Whoops.

    At least you figured out your mistake before finishing everything! :)

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  4. @Pixie, it was more like "dumb Magaly" but yours sounds way better ;-)

    @SueAnn, I got home that night and passed out. Then my Piano Man got home and I got back rubs and kisses for as long as I could keep my eyes opened.

    @Judy, you knew!

    @Sarita, you know, you might be kid of proud of me (or my professor) she is making me do something I've never done before: recite and act poetry out. I'm all for that. She is treating poetry "like living prose that sounds really good" I don't know, but as much as I bitch, I'm actually enjoying the torture--sort of.

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  5. Oh dear!! Sorry you had to go through all that work only to find out it wasn't necessary!! That sucks for sure! I think you need a nice long nap!!
    Then a nice long soak in the tub to soothe your frazzled nerves and muscles!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

    ReplyDelete
  6. As a poet I started off laughing, and by the end I was laughing for different reasons. I've done something similar myself. I once turned in an essay that I had worked hard on and apologized to the professor because it was a day or so late...only to find out it was a week early! Whoops.

    At least you figured out your mistake before finishing everything! :)

    ReplyDelete