Greetings Magaly’s Wicked Darlings!
My name is Zombie Kitty. I clarifying just in case you are one of those rude dogs who doesn’t read titles. I wouldn’t be surprised, for it is common knowledge that the insufferable creature that poses as man’s best friend is a common usurper that doesn’t read titles. Cats are man’s best friends! It was decreed on… oh, wait, this post was supposed to be about presenting some winners.
I wonder if the winners are the eating kind. I used to enjoy eating winners, especially when they were warm; cold ones never agreed with me. The last can of winners I ate… oh, sorry; I do tend to go off on tangents, and not just theoretical ones. That is how I became a zombie.
You see, I was quite lively looking once. But one day my human friend sent me to try out for a movie, titled All Cats Go to Wherever They Freaking Want (By the way, the movie idea was usurped by a pack of dogs and they came up with some weird thing about all dogs going to some paradise where everybody would probably bore themselves to death). Anyway, I was on my way to the movie set, when I heard a very loud beep coming from a nearby road. I walked toward the buzz-like beep, and KABOON! I was run over by a red sports car, and left to rot on the side of the road. I woke up the next day, and I didn’t feel or smell very fresh. I also started craving brains.
I walked around looking for food and encountered a lot of people, but hardly any brains. I decided to start a diet of praises; brains are just too hard to find these days. Now I eat large portions of “Wow Zombie Kitty, I can hardly see your entrails through the holes in your tummy!” and “My goodness Zombie Kitty, your stench is not as deadly as one might expect.” I also accept “You are so wicked rotten, Zombie Kitty!” and “Whoever said sad puppy eyes are cute, has obviously never stared into your dazzling post-rigor mortis fluid-filled eyeballs.” Yep, I’ll starve without sweet words that praise my misunderstood deathly beauty.
My life as an actor ended the day I died. Now I do parties and model for pictures. I got a lot of work in October. I was last hired by Pixie from Pixie’s Musings and Jon from Me vs. College. They told me to let Magaly know that her blog was… Hm… I can’t recall what I was supposed to tell Magaly about her blog. I got distracted playing with Attila, a dog. I know you are surprised. I was too. I’m the first cat to say that all dogs are scum, but Attila is a cool son of a bitch. I haven’t met his mother, but I’m sure only an awesome bitch can raise such a decent pup. Attila and I had a blast. We ran on snow, smelled shoes, rolled on bird poop… sorry, got sidetracked again… I shall come back one of these days and tell you all about my adventures with Attila; if you like, of course. Now to the winners:
Ah, I’ve reread my instruction and realized that I can’t eat the winners after all. They have brains in abundance, but I only eat praises. These two people aren’t winners in a sausage kind of way. They won something, which is way cooler.
I’m very pleased to announce the winners of Pagan Culture’s Witches’ Datebook and Action Bible Giveaway:
- Jaimie-Lyn from The Diary of a Bald Girl is the proud owner of a copy of Llewellyn’s Witches’ Datebook 2011.
- Sarita, the girl made sweetness over at A College Girl’s Day, will read about the adventures of Jesus and the rest of his holy crew, in her spanking new copy of The Action Bible: God’s Redemptive Story.
I hope you both enjoy your regifts as much as I enjoyed writing this post. Magaly also wants to thank Pixie and Jon for sharing my rotten great looks with her. She plans to keep me until next October before she shares my goodness with anyone else. I rock! And sometimes I fall to pieces, but I mostly rock!