After my marriage failed, I told myself that I was going to treat my romantic relationships as I treat my Eclectic Pagan beliefs: through a blog. Grin that was just a joke. Seriously now, I told myself that I was going to live my relationships as open as possible. This meant that as soon as a guy showed any interest in me, I told him all the things that made me more than an annoying partner at times: I'm possessive, I can't be with someone who smokes, I don't want my children (if I ever have them) to be made part of any religion, Pagan or otherwise, until they understand what they are doing, and there is more my Wicked Darlings, but I think this is enough to give you an idea.
The Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up once because he wasn't ready to commit. He said he wanted to see other people too. I told him I was okay with that and wished him luck. He could see whoever he wanted, but not while he was with me. I don't share my man, my car or my undies. So we went our separate ways.
The Ex-Boyfriend called me a short time later and said he was ready to commit. He wanted to see me and only me. Things were great for a while, then one of those things I refused to compromise about (I didn't mention them on purpose, sorry not my story to tell) came up. I explained that I just knew myself well enough to know that I couldn't do it. "You are just too hardheaded" he said. And he was right, I can be quite unreasonable at times, which is the whole point of the first date list from hell.
We couldn't compromise, so we broke it off again.
A much longer period passed and things went kind of like this:
Ex: "Some things happened that made me realize that I would like to try harder at making things work."
Me: "Um, but I'm dating Jewish Cop, and he's nice, and he likes to take me dancing." The Ex-Boyfriend is not big on dancing and it kind of means a lot to me, but I could survive without it if it was our only issue.
Ex: "We are so compatible and care about each other so much. You just started going out with Jewish Cop. I can wait until you talk to him. Plus I'm willing to do that thing you wanted."
Me: "Really!?" I was excited. "I'll talk to Jewish Cop. Like you said, we haven't been together for long and I doubt he's that much into me yet."
I spoke to Jewish Cop. He took it well and I was grateful for that. The Ex-Boyfriend and I got back together and we had some months of pure bliss. It was great, until one day the following happened:
Me: "I'm very glad you decided to that thing I wanted. I just couldn't compromise on that."
Ex: "I never said I would do that."
Me: "What!? You did too, I would have not gotten back together with you if you hadn't. I told you I refused to compromise about that. It goes against everything I believe in."
EX: "No. I said that I would try to do something to help you think about it less, but I never said I would do that."
Me: "Um, okay. I guess I made a mistake. I heard you wrong. I still can't compromise, so I guess this is it."
There were many comments made to point out that I was being bullheaded, and maybe I was my Wicked Darlings, but only I know what want and can put up with; some things are just a big no-no for this Witch.
The tone of this post might lead you to believe that I didn't care much about the relationship. Some might expect me to be crying or something like that, but that is just not me. I was like that once. I think we all have been at some point or another. When my first boyfriend and I broke up I thought I was going to die; I didn't. When I was engaged and I had to call off the wedding, I thought I was going to die; I didn't. When my ex-husband and I finally realized that a divorce was eminent, we both nearly die of sadness, but time made things better. We are both okay now. We both learned that love, great looks and my charming personality are not always enough.
So braking up with the Ex-Boyfriend is sad because goodbyes usually are, but I'm not feeling horrible. I know that it is over because it wasn't meant to be. He is going to find happiness somewhere else and so will I. There are so many gorgeous people with amazing souls (and eyes, and lips, and accents...) in this world. So MANY! Good Gods! I had not noticed for a while, you know having boyfriend blinders and all, but um, okay I'll leave that for another post.
Now I have a question for those of you who emailed me to ask me if I had broken up with the Ex-Boyfriend, even before I knew that the relationship was in trouble: Do you do online readings? You people have psychic powers!