Apartment Hunting Lingo

I’ve scheduled appointments to see several apartments tomorrow, so please wish me luck. The hunt for a new home has been ruthless, but enlightening. It has taught me that my apartment hunt lingo was lacking. I’ve decided to put together a short list of terms to assist anyone looking for studios in New York City or its surrounding areas. Here it is:

Small and Cozy Studio: this place is so small that you can reach the fridge, while sitting on that toilet.

Interesting Studio: someone’s attempt to make a bit of extra money by “building” a bedroom inside their living room. The walls of this “room” don’t quite reach the ceiling, so make sure you don’t snore, or you might disturb the family while they watch TV.

Lower Lever Studio: Basement.

First Floor With Ventilation: Basement.

Legal First Floor Studio: Basement.

Studio for Someone Who Doesn’t Spent Much Time at Home: basement with no windows.

Very Safe Studio: People die around this area, but the police department is around the corner. They might catch the one who stabbed you, way before you bleed to death.

Surveillance Cameras Outside Your Studio: People die around here and we have visual proof.

Studio Next to Transportation: You might want to glue your appliances to the floor, or the vibrations from the train will shake your things out of existence after a couple of weeks.

Yep, my apartment hunt was very enlightening. Have you have your own home hunting enlightening experience? Care to share a term or two? 

*************
Image: Sophie's Shack from The Tale of Woe

No comments:

Post a Comment