Things I Feel Great About

Today Pagan Culture was spiced up into the triple digits by The Sauce! Yep my Wicked Darlings, Chef Green is the 100th member of our Eclectic Circle. I visited his blog in order to welcome him to the family, and the post that welcomed me made me feel really sad. The words were filled with that familiar pain, which touches those who have known despair.

I'm a very emotional reader, meaning that my feelings are affected by what the written word. This is the reason why I choose to follow a diverse bunch of bloggers who have managed to keep my moods relatively balanced. Chef Green's post listed the "things with which [he was] unwell". They were sad, angry... situations that immediately made me think about the times I've felt that way. Then I looked at my empty picture frame and focused on hope.

My frame made me remember that existing is about suffering and thinking hard, but true living is about hoping for the best all the time. So when memories about bitter relationships tried to intrude, I replaced them with thoughts about a great guy I recently met. Then a conversation I had with a jerk, who told me that the only reason I defended gay rights was because I "was going to burn in gay hell", threatened to ruin my day. I didn't let it; I took a deep breath and giggled, thinking about a picture I saw in Cogent Ascending's blog, which said "This is what it looks like to be gay and fabulous."

I do this often; when I start to feel unwell about a particular issue, I try my best to focus on the things I feel great about. I said "try" because there are some emotions that must be felt, even if they hurt.

What about you? How do you fight back when life's painful realities make the world seem like the most awful of places?


Mildly unrelated note: I bet you didn't know that a gay hell actually existed. Well, don't feel too bad, neither did I. I guess that this separation, on earth and in hell, is only known and understood by the highly ignorant. This might explain why the members of our Eclectic Circle didn't know about the place.

22 comments:

  1. Okay, this is going to start by sound outta left field. I just read an interview with actress/commedian Mo'Nique - she's been a role model for me for years, I love her. She's best known for comedy, but she's playing the role of a very abusive (massively abusive) mother in a new file "Precious". The scenes must have been horrific to play. When asked how the crew handled it, M said that when the director yelled "Cut!" everybody partied. "Crab legs and butter, baby!" I thought that was strange, because aren't we supposed to carry these bad feelings around with us to show how much we care? But then I realized it was brilliant and totally heart supporting. You need to feel what you need to feel, no matter how bad it is. And when that's over, it's *over* and you need to let yourself feel good.

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  2. Amén! We need to experience our emotions in the present, then move on and live A LOT. Living a little is for the lazy ;)

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  3. Um, ma'am? You just keep on keeping on sistah, because you are one fabulous gal and I love you dearly. If we all took a breath and decided not to judge, we might just learn a whole lot more than we do.

    I'll tell you a secret... when I first happened upon your blog, I was a bit skeptical. I'm a boring conservative christian and it would have been easy to turn on my heels and say "no thanks." But I clicked on your profile and was instantly smitten. You're no witch. Sorry. I mean, you are if you want to be... but you're so much more. You're smart. You're educated. You're accomplished. You've served in the military. You have a social conscience. You're so much more than a lot of closed-minded people I know.

    So, rock on with your witch self. I love you and I am your friend and I stand with you in your Pagan Culture corner. Count on me.

    Your love is huge. I know. I feel it. I'm surrounded by it.

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  4. They say that those who love you will make you cry, well I believe them my lady, for you have me all teary eyed. Not because of all the great things you've said about me as a person, but because this blog is working! I wanted a place where I could show people the beauty of Paganism. A little spot where readers could stop by and realize that being a Witch is not a bad thing--we are not evil--we are a bunch of souls who believe that we can influence that outcome of our lives and cause change.

    Magic is not those silly things we see in movies, but believing in oneself and in other's ability to understand and love. Today, I've made magic: I have spread my beautiful Pagan Culture into the heart of an amazing soul.

    Most of my family is Christian of some sort and we love each other no matter what. They love me, so they have learned to accept the fact that I'm different from them--that is just how the world is supposed to work. However, when a person gets to know you and chooses to love you because of what this person has learned, honey, that s magic!

    Thanks so much for overflowing my Eclectic Vault of hope!

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  5. Well, I've been having that problem all summer (since I graduated last June, really). I try not to focus on everything, try to fill things up with my creativity. But mostly the only thing that really gets me out of it is going out and being with my horse. I've always considered him to be my soulmate. The extent of it is indescribable, but being near him just washes peace over me. I shed my skin. I borrow freedom. I focus on today and let tomorrow come.

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  6. I know what you mean, I used to have that kind of relationship with my puppy (Attila). I swear him and I used to share emotions and he was so good at picking me up when I was in the dumps. Things were very difficult for me when we had to part ways, but I was moving to the city and he was used to open land--I just couldn't do that to him, so my ex kept him. I cried so much at first, but I'm happy knowing that he gets to jump in a pond or just run wild whenever he feels likeit. Today, even the image of him making silly faces makes me happy. Oh how I miss my boy....

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  7. Thank you for featuring me, in my darkest of hours, on your beautiful blog. Yes, I must feel these things. Yes, I must understand them and move on.

    As a witch, I am always searching for "The Lesson," the bit of truth that connects discordant situations and exposes reality to the dream. I think I may have uncovered that tonight, in the weirdest of ways: keep yourselves updated on The Sauce to find out more.

    My heart may be broken but my spirit is soaring. No small part in thanks to the creator of this blog, who is an amazing, shining spirit in her own right.

    There are many things for which I am grateful: my friends who heal me, the night that comforts me, the moon that guides me, and my own warm heart that will nt be made useless.

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  8. When things go overboards its sometimes impossible to think positive but nowadays I try to close my eyes and breathe first and than I start living again LOL well not always :)

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  9. Don't be sad querida, gay hell is fabulous :).

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  10. Congrats on your 100th! =)

    And thank you for the reminder concerning where our focus lies when burdens get to heavy. It's something I'm really struggling with remembering right now.

    I'm not even going to comment on the gay hell thing. I'm just going to giggle to myself and amuse myself with images of this homophobe dying and finding out that his eternal resting place is as a bartender at a fabulous gay bar.

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  11. Chef Green, that “souring spirit” is definitely going to heal your broken heart, but I’m sure you already know that. I’m so glad you have such a healthy outcome in life my dear Witch! That is what our path is all about: know that no matter how much things might suck, we can always change them if we want them bad enough--specially when we find good friends along the way! Endless Blessings and may the moon shine over you as you transition from coat to coat.

    Melissa aka Equidae, the same happens to all of us lol, but as lame as it might sound: the thought does count ;)

    Carolina, you are so right, I’ve never been at a gay bar that is not filled with jolly people who actually enjoy dancing. So I guess, I’ll break out my castañuelas and burn with joy!

    Lyon, thanks so much! Your imagery actually made me giggle too. Just imagine, a bunch of fabulous looking gay and gay friendly people dancing, singing, sharing colorful drinks… and that poor bastard shaking with rage in a corner. I almost feel sorry for him--almost. Hey, I never said I was perfect. I’m a very balanced person, so yes, there is a bit of meanness on me.

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  12. Welcome to Pagan Culture Sadie!

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  13. Wow this was a fantastic post and such wonderful comments! I too am a very "emotional reader." Sometimes I'm not so sure that it's the words that move me so much as some kind of empathic connection to the writer through their words. I was actually fairly shocked the first time I heard that not everyone picks up emotions like this! lol

    For me today the tears flowed when I read Alix's comment here. Bless you, bless you, bless you for taking the time to learn instead of instantly judging. If everyone was like you I don't think this world would be in near the mess it is. I wouldn't be in the dark place I'm in right now. And blessed be to you, Magaly, for putting these pieces of yourself out there so that people may learn that we're truly not so different as they may think.

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  14. Between your beautiful writing and the comments it's received, I'm near tears myself. My eyes are moist and I can feel the pitter patter in my chest.

    Congratultions on your 100th follower!
    Yay!

    )O(
    boo

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  15. Clandestiny, I'm so glad you enjoyed this post! More than anything, I'm happy you also see the similarities between all of us. I read your profile and see where you are coming from. I also noticed that you have a way with words. I can't wait to go back and read some more. Keep on coming back to Pagan Culture; I think this will be a good home away from home

    Oh Bridgett you are the best! I know what you mean too. I was all teary eyed with the comments this post started. It is just so nice to see that 'my baby' is growing up to be all it was meant t be and then some!

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  16. Gay Hell? That sounds like a fun place to be! I want to commit more sins to get there prima. I am so glad religions like Paganism and Santeria/Candomble/Vodoun are not discriminatory to LGBT people.

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  17. Beloved Primo, you'd probably get kicked out of 'Gay Hell' for trying to take over the place and making it fun!

    But seriously, I'm very glad for tolerant spiritual paths, as well as for tolerant people in general. I was reading Jesus in Love the other day, and was very happy that a bunch of Christians have gotten together to build a group where Jusus doesn't see gay people as evil. Sweet, isn't it?

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  18. I referred Chef Green to your blog--I knew he'd love your writing. Congrats on surpassing 100 readers!

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  19. I'm sooooo glad you did! I love his writing too and it seems we are walking toward the critiquing partners road. And it's all thanks to you, so thanks so much for spreading Pagan Culture my Wicked Darling ;)

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  20. Beloved Primo, you'd probably get kicked out of 'Gay Hell' for trying to take over the place and making it fun!

    But seriously, I'm very glad for tolerant spiritual paths, as well as for tolerant people in general. I was reading Jesus in Love the other day, and was very happy that a bunch of Christians have gotten together to build a group where Jusus doesn't see gay people as evil. Sweet, isn't it?

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  21. Thank you for featuring me, in my darkest of hours, on your beautiful blog. Yes, I must feel these things. Yes, I must understand them and move on.

    As a witch, I am always searching for "The Lesson," the bit of truth that connects discordant situations and exposes reality to the dream. I think I may have uncovered that tonight, in the weirdest of ways: keep yourselves updated on The Sauce to find out more.

    My heart may be broken but my spirit is soaring. No small part in thanks to the creator of this blog, who is an amazing, shining spirit in her own right.

    There are many things for which I am grateful: my friends who heal me, the night that comforts me, the moon that guides me, and my own warm heart that will nt be made useless.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Okay, this is going to start by sound outta left field. I just read an interview with actress/commedian Mo'Nique - she's been a role model for me for years, I love her. She's best known for comedy, but she's playing the role of a very abusive (massively abusive) mother in a new file "Precious". The scenes must have been horrific to play. When asked how the crew handled it, M said that when the director yelled "Cut!" everybody partied. "Crab legs and butter, baby!" I thought that was strange, because aren't we supposed to carry these bad feelings around with us to show how much we care? But then I realized it was brilliant and totally heart supporting. You need to feel what you need to feel, no matter how bad it is. And when that's over, it's *over* and you need to let yourself feel good.

    ReplyDelete