Dream Journal


I used to keep a traditional journal; a detailed account of everything that happened to me: the good, the bad, the kinky, the ugly… Then I got a divorced and burned everything.

I know some of you might be thinking ‘why would you do such a thing!’, while others are going, ‘I so get you girl!’ No, I’m not psychic *grin*, but I always get this kind of 50/50 reaction when friends and loved ones find out about my smoky little secret.

You see, I have a theory: in order to truly let go of past relationships, one must get rid of the tangible things. This does NOT apply to people who have children or pets because that would be murder or animal cruelty--both punishable by the law of men and the wrath of the Gods.

Some of my friends have told me that my theory shows insecurity. I disagree, but everybody has an opinion and I respect that. I don’t know about you, but my memory is very sensitive. Things like images make my creative mind relive entire experiences--there are things I rather forget. I’m not saying you should go back and destroy the prom pictures your parents hold as national treasures, but there is no need for you to keep videos of you sucking face with past lovers. Then again, if no one in the relationship is bothered by it, that is a whole different ball game.

My idea behind destroying these “tangible things”, is that one should care enough about the person one shares one's life with, that one should avoid unnecessary pain (this sentence just solved a critical philosophical question: can one use "one" a bunch of times in a single sentence?). Back to my point, it is not like we are going to forget what happened in the past. That would be foolish, especially because the past helped us become who we are today. But do we really need those pictures, that video, the T-Shirt with his or her name on it, that uneaten wedding cake!? I didn’t think so, so I got rid of everything from my former marriage--my journal was just collateral damage.

However, I like keeping a paper journal, it helps me stay current on my handwriting skills and it is a fun thing to do. Plus I have this cool bound journals, I’ve gotten as presents, and they deserve to be used for something more honorable than draft writing. I’ve decided that a dream journal would be the solution. My dreams are very random and although some people are gifted enough to be able to control their dreams, I'm not. Unless it is my recurring dream about Lion-O and I defeating Mumm-Ra, which I have mastered. Don’t be too impressed, you would be able too, if you had been having the same dream since you were 13 years-old.

Anyway, I had 3 very significant dreams some time ago. I misinterpreted them, of course, but one of my Wicked Darlings made me see the light. And WOW! Those 3 dreams changed my life for the better, so I put my dream journal to good use. I examined my orthography and calligraphy after I was done writing, and trust me; a dream journal was a great idea. My handwriting is getting atrocious!

I was going to wait until after Thanksgiving to share this with you, but I dreamed Parker Jr. (Bridgett’s grand-turkey-peacock) was chasing me around the house, dream journal in hand, um... in wing. I told myself “Magaly, a turkey-peacock chasing you right around Thanksgiving? And holding your dream journal? Hmm… you must share this colorful post now!" So I did.

Do you keep a paper journal?




*************
Parker Jr.'s portrait was stolen from Doog & Boo Plus Two. I hope Parker doesn't know any good lawyers!






















26 comments:

  1. No I don't keep a journal although I have wanted to, wished that that was part of me. I admire people who do that. As an artist, I don't keep much of a sketch book either. When I sit down to sculpt a new model, I do whatever is rattling around in my head at the moment.

    I get why you burned everything. I had a group of friends that decided to shun me and one of the first things I did was get rid of everything I had that I associated with those people. Some stuff I threw away, some I gave away and some I sent back. I couldn't bear to have that stuff around me. Mostly it reminded me what a chump I was.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I never remember my dreams to write them down.Can't wait to hear more! Happy Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The only problem with burning tangible things is, you'd better never want them back. A lot of times, once you navigate through painful situations they no longer have their emotional hold on you. And you can't very well go scraping through the ashes then, can you.

    I love the way you operate though, dear Magaly. You are always teaching and I love that about you. Freaky-deaky dream by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ellen, I glad you understand. Hm, I can't believe you don't have a sketch book or something. I have tons of (mildly incomprehensible) drafting notebooks lol. I wouldn't know what to do with them.

    Frau, The Boyfriend rarely remembers his dreams either. I promise to share some of mine with you, he likes hearing them too.

    Alix, the best part of good memories is making them. Awwww... the beauty and bliss of the first goodness. I know, that dream was very strange. I think I was just too taken by Parker Jr., did you see its eyes? Make sure you don't stare too hard, they are hypnotizing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have started several journals..but have never kept them going!! Don't know why...just don't! See I used "don't" twice!! LOL!! And destroying everything makes sense to me. Who wants that stuff around anyway? Blah!
    Happy Thanksgiving
    Have a blessed day
    Hugs
    SueAnn

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have always been a "Journaler," though always in strange ways. For instance, in high school I used to write tiny journal entries in the margins of all my class notes.

    I completely agree with getting rid of tangible things in the spirit of not hurting the one you spend your life with. Mostly because MacGyver has found TWO of my old journals - one from when he and I first started dating, and, more significantly, broke up for reasons I never told him (basically I was too messed up from a previous abusive relationship, MacGyver got too close, and so I started picking apart EVERYTHING about him until I convinced myself to leave - ouch), and one from the rather wild year I spent after that, including a few chance encounters with him, but definitely not with ONLY him, ahem . . .

    So yeah, keeping my past around has definitely bitten me in the rear. But there are too many other wonderful memories in those journals to completely kiss them goodbye. And maybe (I keep telling myself until it ultimately self-fulfills) it's better for him to know me on that level anyway. Heaven knows I was never going to come out and tell him that stuff, lol.

    I tend to throw my dreams in with everything else in whatever journal I am keeping at any given moment. Props to you on starting yours up! And on keeping up with the handwriting. Mine is beyond horrible.

    Can't wait to hear all the revelations it brings!

    ReplyDelete
  7. i alwayskept journals till now. i've read that to grow in spirit you have to forget your past

    ReplyDelete
  8. Don't know how you can destroy things!! I keep everything...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been tempted so many times to destroy my old journals, but really I find that they help keep me grounded and remind me that I haven't always known what I know now. But I get it, and good for you for doing what you need to! Thanks for your comment!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I always wanted to keep a dream journal, but did n;t ever write more than twice in them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Slommer, I've only written one full one. I started when I joined the Marine Corps, I think, maybe a bit after. It saw its timely demise a few years ago--it was just time and quite refreshing if I may add.

    Amanda, different things for different folks. I wouldn't keep something that might bring unnecessary tears to the one I love. When it comes to seeing how my past has shaped me, I always tell myself the the present is my biggest proof. I look at my life today and I can see tiny bits of the experiences that helped on my way here. Ha! Thanks for making me feel better about the nasty handwriting bit ;)

    Melissa, that sounds like a good thought. It makes sense that the things that you remember, the ones that stay with you, don't really need, well... remembering. They've become part of your present and if they haven't, then they might best left where they were. That sounds confusing, huh?

    Judy, I'm a rebel with a cause!

    Tracy, we do what work best for us, if that works for you then great. In my humble case *grin* I have this amazing memory that always reminds me that I will learn new things until the day I kick the bucket. So you see, I'll "always" know that I don't "know now" as much as I new then.

    ReplyDelete
  12. GreekWitch, well maybe you are a cyber journaler, have you thought about that?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I do keep a bit of a journal. My main journal is now here online, but I've always had some difficulty keeping a journal. My classes in the past have required me to keep a journal for grades, whether in an art class or a writing class. I have used the same style journal for both, and I keep all of my journals to track my journey, both in writing skills and in artistic skills, as well as my own being.

    However, outside of classes I don't keep a journal as much. Sure I'll write down the occasional dream or reading, but those are few and far in between. This is why I blog--I hope to keep myself going if other people are reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I could never burn my diaries, but I can understand why others might.

    I started writing in a diary when I was small. I've kept at it since then, on and off, and by now I've filled about ten books I'd say. (I haven't actually counted them, to tell the truth.)

    I've barely written in my diary since I started blogging, though. I just haven't really felt like it, I think because I'm putting so much of what I would write in my diary in my blog. Of course, there are sometimes things that are much too private to put on a public blog, so when I find that I really need to write about them I turn to my diary.

    ...which reminds me, I've been meaning to print out my blog posts so that I can keep them as a sort of physical journal...that wouldn't work really well for the videos and links in the posts, but whatever. :P

    ReplyDelete
  15. I used to keep a journal like that myself. Now most of it is online in my LJ--just easier for me, and I'm less possessive about it. My "BOS" (or what have you) is mostly on OneNote (AWEOMSE program). But I do keep a few paper-journals: my writing is all done by hand, plus I have my art/inspiration journal, which is a moleskinne I put pretty much anything in--photos, reference photos, ideas, poems, writings, random notes, darkroom records...you name it, it's probably in there somewhere.

    I don't think I'd ever be able to burn something like that. I'm pretty possessive of things like that, but then again I don't typically have any problem letting go or moving on, so I don't think I'd need to burn things. Mentally I just detach, so the tangible links themselves aren't an issue. The problem is what the body remembers--there are memories of the mind and memories of the body; the first is easier to deal with, the second, you typically don't have control over.

    I totally understand why you think the way you do about it, though!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love it, rofl!! Being chased around by Parker Jr. I think that would make me consider never eating whatever it was I ate before bed again! ;-)

    Apparently though he had an important message for you so it's all good.

    I can't control my dreams either in incidentally. I rarely remember them at all and when I do I know there's definitely something significant there. I don't keep a journal specifically for recording dreams, but I do try to get them written down somewhere as soon as I can. (I have metric tons of journals and notebooks around for various things and I can't keep track of the ones I do keep most times!)

    Oh also, I do get burning things from a previous relationship. Very well.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I used to have diarys, journals since I was 10 or so years old, but then the www came around and I had online journals. I don't keep neither one of them paper or digital now, I probably should because it is a healing process.

    As for destroying things I did too, many times. I burned all my paintings, finished and non finished because that time of my life was past. So I can totally understand where you're coming from, Magaly.
    Sometimes I want to look/ peek back and see how I would react nowadays to my old writings and paintings but it is gone and memories is all that is left, perhaps for the better.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Turkey peacock chasing you just before Thanksgiving -

    Do you feel that you are paying the consequences for something someone else did, or vice versa?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Leathra, you just made me think of something: I go back to school in January and I'll have to keep a journal, for all my classes are English! That will be such fun. I get the blogging to keep record of our life. I always say that this will be my history for my children lol.

    Sarita, that would be a lot of printing! Have you thought about backing it up to have it in a safe place? Like that you can save your videos too. You don't want to have a physical-blog-journal without the beautiful voices you've showcased on your blog.

    Emma, I totally get your body-memory theory. For me is a lot easier to stop remember things, sooner, if I don't see them. I always say that I don't know if it is a gift or a curse, but I don't always detach from people who leave behind--I actually forget.

    Lyon, it was very funny specially because I wasn't scared, just confused. I really like the colors of Parker Jr. and how huge it was lol.

    Noor, I do think that some parts of the past--the ones that don't carry one with you--should be left behind. We need to make room for more and better memories ;) BTW, I'm so glad to see you here!

    Marcia Dream, stop freaking me out! Okay, seriously, that is a great interpretation. I suck at seeing what my dreams are trying to tell me, but The Boyfriend pointed something out (can't really talk about it), then I talked to my mom and now you say this... wow! Everything makes a whole lot of sense. I think I need to send Parker a nice Yule present.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Haha! Parker is going to be thrilled that Parker Jr. is now famous.

    He is a pretty good looking fellow though, isn't he?

    I'm truly thinking I need to start a dream journal. I've been having some vivid ones lately...but mere minutes after I awake, they're wafting away in a smokey blur. I think you've managed to inspire me to start one. Yay!

    As for burning tangible items from past relationships, I've done the same thing. I'll be honest though, often times, it was because I didn't want current boyfriend/husband to find some of those things (which may or may not have been kinky sex tapes...but we won't go there.) :D

    On a sidenote, I actually felt guilty eating turkey this year...I kept picturing Parker Jr. So...I just skipped that part of the meal and focused on carbs instead. My hips and butt aren't happy about that, but my head is!

    )O(
    boo

    ReplyDelete
  21. You know what, I didn't eat turkey this year either, but it was just because I didn't feel like. I wonder is Parker Jr. had anything to do with it...

    I'm very happy I started a dream journal, remember how I said I was really bad at interpreting my dreams? Well since I started writing them, I've noticed little patterns. I'm actually getting better at figuring out what my subconscious is trying to tell me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I used to have diarys, journals since I was 10 or so years old, but then the www came around and I had online journals. I don't keep neither one of them paper or digital now, I probably should because it is a healing process.

    As for destroying things I did too, many times. I burned all my paintings, finished and non finished because that time of my life was past. So I can totally understand where you're coming from, Magaly.
    Sometimes I want to look/ peek back and see how I would react nowadays to my old writings and paintings but it is gone and memories is all that is left, perhaps for the better.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Leathra, you just made me think of something: I go back to school in January and I'll have to keep a journal, for all my classes are English! That will be such fun. I get the blogging to keep record of our life. I always say that this will be my history for my children lol.

    Sarita, that would be a lot of printing! Have you thought about backing it up to have it in a safe place? Like that you can save your videos too. You don't want to have a physical-blog-journal without the beautiful voices you've showcased on your blog.

    Emma, I totally get your body-memory theory. For me is a lot easier to stop remember things, sooner, if I don't see them. I always say that I don't know if it is a gift or a curse, but I don't always detach from people who leave behind--I actually forget.

    Lyon, it was very funny specially because I wasn't scared, just confused. I really like the colors of Parker Jr. and how huge it was lol.

    Noor, I do think that some parts of the past--the ones that don't carry one with you--should be left behind. We need to make room for more and better memories ;) BTW, I'm so glad to see you here!

    Marcia Dream, stop freaking me out! Okay, seriously, that is a great interpretation. I suck at seeing what my dreams are trying to tell me, but The Boyfriend pointed something out (can't really talk about it), then I talked to my mom and now you say this... wow! Everything makes a whole lot of sense. I think I need to send Parker a nice Yule present.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Turkey peacock chasing you just before Thanksgiving -

    Do you feel that you are paying the consequences for something someone else did, or vice versa?

    ReplyDelete
  25. I used to keep a journal like that myself. Now most of it is online in my LJ--just easier for me, and I'm less possessive about it. My "BOS" (or what have you) is mostly on OneNote (AWEOMSE program). But I do keep a few paper-journals: my writing is all done by hand, plus I have my art/inspiration journal, which is a moleskinne I put pretty much anything in--photos, reference photos, ideas, poems, writings, random notes, darkroom records...you name it, it's probably in there somewhere.

    I don't think I'd ever be able to burn something like that. I'm pretty possessive of things like that, but then again I don't typically have any problem letting go or moving on, so I don't think I'd need to burn things. Mentally I just detach, so the tangible links themselves aren't an issue. The problem is what the body remembers--there are memories of the mind and memories of the body; the first is easier to deal with, the second, you typically don't have control over.

    I totally understand why you think the way you do about it, though!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love it, rofl!! Being chased around by Parker Jr. I think that would make me consider never eating whatever it was I ate before bed again! ;-)

    Apparently though he had an important message for you so it's all good.

    I can't control my dreams either in incidentally. I rarely remember them at all and when I do I know there's definitely something significant there. I don't keep a journal specifically for recording dreams, but I do try to get them written down somewhere as soon as I can. (I have metric tons of journals and notebooks around for various things and I can't keep track of the ones I do keep most times!)

    Oh also, I do get burning things from a previous relationship. Very well.

    ReplyDelete