Back AND Loaded!

Yes my Wicked Darlings! I'm back and loaded with updates, awards and enough happiness to keep me glowing for YEARS to come!

First things first because I know you are dying for updates on Spiritually Eclectic, Orthodox in Love. It's complicated... It was nothing more than a anniversary present gone EXTREMELY wrong... or right, depending on who is looking at it. I like showing, not telling, so here is what I put together after listening to the parties involved:

"Jon, do you have a sexual fantasy." My friend held her husband a bit tighter to give him courage.

"I used to... I guess... but I'm married now, and I like my real life." Jon kissed his wife feeling truly happy.

"But, what was your fantasy?" My friend really wanted to know.

Jon didn't like where things were going, but he knew his wife wouldn't stop asking until he gave her an answer, so he chose honesty. "You know, the same thing most guys want? Two girls at the same time, but that was a long time ago. I'm married now and I'm happy with my super girl." He kissed her again.

While her husband was kissing her, my friend was thinking about what an amazing man he was. She wanted to grow old with him, even if her body craved the touch of another individual; another woman. But why can't I have both! The idea hit her with such force that my friend felt she couldn't argue with it. I'll get us a woman for our anniversary! She concluded happily.

My friend went ahead and spoke to her best friend. A woman she found very attractive, and who she knew found her husband appealing too.

A week later, Jon walked into his bedroom and the sight made him crush the small jewelery case holding his wife's wedding anniversary gift. His wife and her best friend lay naked in his bed, "And Magaly they were inviting me in. I wanted to disappear, run away, join them. I just didn't know what to do, so I just stood there like an idiot." But not for long because my friend went and got him.

Jon was very nervous at first, but he ended up taking his present. But that wasn't the end of it...

My friend's best friend had feelings for Jon. I think my friend knew this and that's why she picked her. The girl didn't feel the same way about my friend, but she liked Jon so much that she made the sacrifice.

Today, Jon and his anniversary present see each other on a regular basis, while my friend sees other girls. Jon is no longer comfortable with the arrangement because a new woman has claimed his monogamous heart. My friend does not want to give him a divorce, so like I said, "It's complicated..."

My friend asked me what I thought about the whole thing. "Well dear you literally made a bed for Jon and your best friend, so don't get mad if they are choosing to lay in it."


*************

I'm hopping that after reading what I told my friend, One Pink Fish still feels that I deserve to be a My Comments Rock! Award nominee.


Then again, Clandestiny--from Naked in the Closed--has given me the Superior Scribbler Award and I believe that gives me artistic rights to run my mouth, wildly, every now and then.

I will foward these awards to eight amazing bloggers in the near future, but I wanted to thank ONe PiNK FiSH and Clandestiny as soon as possible. Thanks so much my dears!

*************

Hmm... this post got way too long, even without the glowing bit, so I'll have to tell you about The Boyfriend and this past weekend on my next post.

38 comments:

  1. Mmm yeah they've tied themselves up into a nasty knot. Those sorts of things only go smoothly if everyone is being completely honest with each other and themselves. So they're going to have to take the rougher trail but that doesn't mean that they can't get to a perfectly wonderful spot either! They all just need to decide whether or not they're willing to do the work and help each other through it.

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  2. Whoa...didn't see that coming!

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  3. Clandestiny, that's exactly what I told my friend. I told her that she expected her husband to understand her and now she needs to do the same--but she is not hearing me or anyone else for that matter. She wants it her way and no one else's. I'm feeling sorry for the poor guy because she is putting their son in the middle of it all that is just not fair. Long story short, my friend and I are not seeing eye-to-eye in this one. She is not being fair. She can not force him to play a game he doesn't enjoy.

    Ellen, you and me both. I got there last night, and was there for about 5 hours trying to figure things out. I kind of have an understanding now, but I can't understand my friend. Her husband says that he respects her as a person and wants her to be happy, but he is now in love with the other girl and the girl with him--difficult. The girl and Jon tried the poly road, but they couldn't do it, for they only have eyes for each other. It would be very nice if the three of them could fall for each other, but like Clandestiny said, "Those sorts of things only go smoothly if everyone is being completely honest with each other and themselves." At this moment, I feel like my friend is not being fair to others or honest with herself.

    I wish them luck!

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  4. Lady, that is some SERIOUS shit! Good luck to them unwinding the threads....

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  5. I'm big on the monogamy train, lol. I know polyamory works for some, but it's not for me. Definitely something that has to be discussed with all parties, not thrust upon someone as a surprise.

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  6. OUCH! That is so not going to end well. I would just stay the hell away from that one. My advice to you now is to tell them it's none of your business now, so your part is done. Otherwise you are going to be caught up in one tangled messy bugger of a situation.

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  7. Wow! Involved situation; wanting more is not always a good thing. Looks to me like your friend wanted more and got less. Too bad; sounds like she might lose a lot. Probably not too much you can do except listen and be a friend. (Brings a smile to my face and a shake to my head) Oh, the webs we weave...

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  8. Chef Green, I told them the same thing. I will be there to listen if they need an ear--sometimes we just do--but I just can't get involved, they are too deep into the situation and I don't want to lose any friends if I don't have to.

    Mrs. B., your wiseness is legendary ;) I don't know why she made such a huge decision on her own, but no one but the Gods will ever know all what goes in people's minds, right?

    MouseDemon, I'll be there to listen if they need me, but there isn't much I can do. I offer a shoulder to cry on, but this shoulder values its life, so it refuses to comment further.

    Judy, I couldn't have said it better. I sat in front of my friend wondering why she didn't talk to someone before doing this--especially to her husband! But it is late now and like you said all I can do is "listen and be a friend".

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  9. What a tangled web we weave only to get snared in it at a later date. And snared she is!! All I can do is watch and shake my head!! Unintended consequences for sure.
    What a wild ride!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  10. "What a wild ride!" indeed. I just pray they find their way.

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  11. Amy and Cattra Shadow, welcome to Pagan Culture! I tried going to your blogs to see what you are up to, but either you don't have one or I'm too dense to figure out how to get to them ;( I'm hoping for the latter. So leave me a comment to see if I can locate your virtual home through your profile.

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  12. Wow. I can't add anything anyone else hasn't already said.

    I can't wait to hear about the rest of your weekend! :)

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  13. Asshole Boyfriend, I'm glad to be back too. I can't wait to tell everyone everything about it.

    D. Suplicki, you were reading my mind, weren't you? I can barely contain the desire to tell, but I didn't want to overwhelm you guys, so tomorrow...

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  14. Wow! That is an awful situation. So happy to see you here again!

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  15. I'm happy to be back too, but trust me I wasn't thrilled with the welcoming party!

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  16. Oh, wow, what a sticky situation...

    I pretty much ditto what everyone else has already said!

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  17. Seriously?! At first it's just shocking, but rereading it.. it gets a bit sad doesn't it?

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  18. Not my place to say what's right for another couple (or threesome or what have you). I think the important takeaway here is this: Know thyself! The maxim from the Delphic Oracle remains just as true today. Desire must walk hand in hand with insight, else desire can so very easily overwhelm and destroy us.

    My Lady Love and I have talked about playing around with another couple. Whether such talk ever becomes something more remains to be seen. Still, before any exploration we would have to be very clear with everyone, and especially with ourselves, first and foremost my Lady Love and I are together, and we'll be there for each other before all else. Period.

    By springing the situation onto her husband, your friend didn't give her husband the chance to process his feelings on having a threesome, and concurrently an open relationship. Now I'm all for surprising my Lady Love, yet in ways where her brain doesn't go reeling off in confusion, and the dynamics of a relationship aren't a place to play carelessly. (A place to be playful, this is true, yet genuine play requires consideration of the feelings around you.)

    Know thyself.

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  19. This is indeed a difficult situation for everyone involved. I pray they come to some kind of arrangement, but I just don't see it happening any time soon.

    Janicu is right, once we think about it a bit the whole thing is just sad. But I believe Grey is right too, with the right amount of communication all this nonsense could have been avoided.

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  20. Hmpf. Maybe the difficult part might have been avoided if she had gotten a professional lady instead of asking a close friend. Or at least things might have worked out a bit smoother. (If there is love for a new person, there is obviously no - or little - love for the old person. People develop and change, that's the way of the world.)

    I know, there is no use going around talking about "what if"s... so I just wish that everyone gets what they need from the situation.

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  21. Diandra - You say that "if there is love for a new person, there is obviously no - or little - love for the old person". Don't you feel that a person can love more than one at a time?

    Perhaps as time go by, the husband will realize that the new love is so fresh and exciting, while the old one is old and comfortable. Never know where a relationship will go...

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  22. Aha. Monogamous then. Well, I think most everyone has covered what I would say. Very interesting. And Magaly, thank you for the wonderful advice on my blog!

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  23. Diandra, I think that my friend is the only one who doesn't--or at least not the way she wished. She might end up with the type of relationship she wanted, but not with her current husband.

    Judy, he actually tried to fix things. He has invested many years in the marriage and was willing to give things a try, if she wanted a relationship with him alone--she doesn't. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, and most of the time this arrangement is impossible.

    Leathra, Thanks for stopping by again. I hope you recover from "the changes" soon enough ;)

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  24. ouchhhh.... as you say she laid it down and now she should give divorce what's the use of pretending....life is complicated enough without us trying our best to make it worse LOL

    btw not fair about leaving us pending on the rest of the weekend I mean come on ....

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  25. Wow - what a mess! As has already been said, this is NOT going to end well.

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  26. My husband, best friend and I got into a similar situation--he started wanting to join us on outings, suggested my friend come along on our scuba trips...and pretty much the whole world, including my best friend, thought it was because he was the coolest husband on the planet. One night he snuck out of bed after I fell asleep, went to my friend's apartment, and grabbed her--she kicked him out.

    We went to a marriage counselor, I kept complaining about how this had made things awkward between my friend and me, and the counselor finally said, "You know, you seem more worried about losing a friend than losing a husband." Hubby and I looked at each other, and realized the marriage had died a couple years before; we were just too stubborn to admit it. The friend and I are still friends; haven't heard from the ex in years.

    When something like your friend's thing happens, I usually figure it's the trigger, not the cause. It's awfully hard to fall out of real love with one person and into love with another that fast. So often it's more a matter of needing permission to move on. Not always a bad thing--sometimes it's time--even thought it hurts like hell while it's going on.

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  27. Melissa, you are right. When things are over they just are. I remember when I asked my ex-husband for a divorce, everybody was looking at me like I was evil. I had completely fallen out of love and didn't want to waste each other's time or get into a horrible situation. But some take a lot longer than other to see these things. Hey! I din't find out until Monday too, plus, I was a bit distracted with my own ordeals lol.

    WOW Cynthia, I didn't realized these things were so common. I guess I do live under a rock. I'm glad that at least you got to keep your friend. So sorry you had to go through it. Live and learn...

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  28. JamaGenie, like you I just don't see a good way out of this one. Let's just hope for the best!

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  29. Wow - kind of hard to hit the customer service desk with that return. That's why I like gift cards. The gift that doesn't say "sleep with me and my friend, then leave me for her."

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  30. I was not expecting this at all.
    And Magaly, I don't think I could ever willingly share my husband with another woman.

    Even thinking about it upsets me.

    My husband (and his penis) belong only to me. ;)

    )O(
    boo

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  31. I understand. I'm a very selfish lover. Actually, I'm not good at sharing several things: my man, my underwear, um... my car--I have a thing about other people driving my car. Only my dad and my other half are allowed. I'm weird that way lol

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  32. JamaGenie, like you I just don't see a good way out of this one. Let's just hope for the best!

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  33. Wow - kind of hard to hit the customer service desk with that return. That's why I like gift cards. The gift that doesn't say "sleep with me and my friend, then leave me for her."

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  34. I understand. I'm a very selfish lover. Actually, I'm not good at sharing several things: my man, my underwear, um... my car--I have a thing about other people driving my car. Only my dad and my other half are allowed. I'm weird that way lol

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  35. Mmm yeah they've tied themselves up into a nasty knot. Those sorts of things only go smoothly if everyone is being completely honest with each other and themselves. So they're going to have to take the rougher trail but that doesn't mean that they can't get to a perfectly wonderful spot either! They all just need to decide whether or not they're willing to do the work and help each other through it.

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