An Eclectic Pagan’s View on Mortality

My grandmother passed away last night. The news traveled faster than I could have ever imagined. I received text messages and phone calls from people who I haven’t heard from in ages; some I don’t even know! My phone rang at about midnight; it was the friend of a cousin, who knew a guy who lived closed to my grandma, and who was sure he could feel the pain of my loss—no joke.

I know death is something difficult to deal with, but I also understand that it is necessary for the continuation of life. What sort of place would the world be if we lived (unchanged) forever? I was talking to one of my best friends last night. He called me because he got a call from someone who heard about my grandma. He told me that he was surprised. “You are not crying,” he said. “I remember when Toughy died, you were… you were inconsolable. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” I told him. “Toughy was 20-years-old. He was killed in action by a kid younger than he was. I was angry at the injustice; mad at the fact that very few people saw the uselessness of his death. My grandma lived almost a century. She had more grandchildren and great-grandchildren than she could remember. She was tired and wanted to move on. She LIVED, Toughy didn’t. We should celebrate my grandma’s life and not, forever, mourn her death.”

He was quiet for a few long seconds, and then he said, “You are a very weird woman.”

I said goodbye to my friend, after thanking him for his kind gesture. Then I sat on the floor and thought for a long while. I examined my Eclectic Pagan’s view on mortality and tried to see if they were in fact weird. I concluded they weren’t. I believe that we are all made of the same basic energy and that we become part of everything we touch. I also believe that energy never disappears, it just changes. I know my grandma is somewhere…

I ask my Hekate to brighten my grandma’s new path with Endless Blessings. Please say a prayer for her… light a candle… or do whatever you believe will help her get to where she wants to go next. She was a very difficult woman. In the course of her life, she made decisions that hurt many. However, everybody deserves forgiveness and a second, third, fourth… chance.


I’ll quote a very sweet and intelligent man to say that today I’ll “think of all the beautiful things she did for the ones she loved” most.

27 comments:

  1. I am so sorry my darling to read about your grandma, I was very close to mine and she died why I was just 16 years old, never experienced loss till that point!
    I am cyber hugging you as we speak (((((hugs))))) I will light a candle for your grandma and ask Hekate to help her on her journey.
    Much love and Light (hear with an ear if you need it)
    Pixie xxxxx

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  2. I'm sorry for your loss and will have a candle lit today for her. I think your outlook on mortality is spot on. I also would rather have celebrations of a full life lived, rather than dwell on death and be in mourning. We all feel the loss when we lose someone, some just choose to look at it with different eyes. Especially pagans. I think we all view the life cycle differently than other religions do.

    Blessings to you and your family, today.

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  3. Visit my Blog for the candle Magaly

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  4. I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother, but your viewpoint on it is not weird, it is very similar to mine.

    I look at death so differently than most people I know, that I seldom cry over it, and a lot of people think me cold and unfeeling. I feel the loss from my life, but I know they are on the way to their next stepping stone on their path and that is so exiting and something to rejoice over.

    I will light a candle for your grandmother, and for your family.

    *Hugs*

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  5. Sorry for your loss Magaly. I'm glad your grandmother had a long, full life.

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  6. Blessings my friend but I dont mourn the dead either...I know they carried on and if they were sick they are now happy coz they dont feel pain anymore. I cry and mourn for the living who feel so much pain over their loss

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  7. So sorry for your loss...which can be so much easier when we realize they are all around us at all times...She is most likely so happy to have moved on to other places as she had finished her time here...and we must be happy for her also...big hug...

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  8. My condolences to you and your family but I totally understand your reasoning. It sounds like your grandmother did have a full life which should be celebrated, not mourned.

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  9. So that makes you a weird woman? I don't think it's you that's the weird one.

    May your grandma's journey through the rest of the Universe and Time be a fulfilling one. And may the good memories of her live in your heart.

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  10. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, but your attitude towards death sounds sensible to me.

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  11. Anonymous10/09/2009

    I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I read your post and stopped before I replied, and sent prayers for you and your grandmother.

    I asked my girls to add you to their nightly prayers and my best friend.

    Your beliefs are a part of you and your strength. It sounds like you're at peace. I'm happy that your beliefs help to bring that sense of peace to you.

    Melissa

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  12. I'm very sorry about your grandma...but I absolutely agree with the words you spoke to your friend.

    Lighting a candle for you and your family...

    )O(
    boo

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  13. I'm sorry so many misunderstand your sentiments and thoughts on the matter.
    It was the way I felt when my grand father passed and I was labeled as cold and uncarring because I did not sit and sob uselessly for a man who knew more life than most of his children would.
    I think you're on the right track so long as its what feels right in your own head.
    No matter how you chose to deal with it some one is going to have a contrary opinion.
    I am drinking a beer and eating a chocolate for your departed grand mother.
    To her life and her death.
    May she recieve the rewards of the seeds shes sown.

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  14. Hi everyone,

    Thanks so much for the kind words, your prayers, the candles... I also want to thank you for sticking around. Life has been a bit messy lately, so I haven't been keeping up with Pagan Culture as I would love and should. Just give me a few more days and I'll be on my old schedule.

    I'm sending a bunch of HUGS your way too ;)

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  15. My condolences for your loss, and my wish for brightest blessings to light your grandmother's way. Blessed Be!

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  16. I'm sorry about your grandmother. I lost my great-grandmother recently, whom I was named after. She was in her mid-90s, and had advanced alzheimer’s, and was generally unhappy. When she passed away, the family was almost relieved, and now that she's moved on, we can remember her for her delicious food and general kind heart instead of worrying about her health and her forgetfullness.

    In the words of one of my best friends, "I don't want people to be sad at my funeral. I want them to leave laughing."

    I hope people understand your point of veiw soon, it doesn't make you so weird:)

    Many Blessings to you and your family<3

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  17. My husband and his buddies celebrate the life of his best friend on the anniversary of his death every year. Brain died saving the life of a child.

    Every year my husband and his friends go on a trip and spend time together remembering all the fun they had with Brian. They try to plan an event that he would of liked attending. By having this yearly celebration Brian is never forgotten and is always near to each of them.

    I think this is a wonderful way to deal with the death of a loved one.

    I hope after the some time has passed that you and your family will be able to celelbrate your grandmother's passing in much the same way. I also wish your grandmother I happy journey on her next adventure.

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  18. I'm sorry for your loss, but it is wonderful that your grandmother was able to move on when she was ready.

    I prefer your view of death. It just seems healthier. Death is a natural step, sometimes it just is hard to let go, but we have to...

    I'll light a candle for her on my Samhain altar this year, too, if that's all right.

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  19. I'm very glad everybody feels the way I do. I knew I wasn't as strange--or maybe you guys are just as crazy as I am, which makes it all good.

    My family took my grandma to the Dominica Republic for the funeral and burial. I'm sure she will be happy in her homeland, but as funerals go, I doubt she cares much where her earthly remains are buried. However, it is important for her children, so all of them flew to the Caribbean yesterday.

    Special thanks to Lasher. I hope your candle and mine illuminate her journey to and from the Underworld on All Hallows Eve.

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  20. Aw shucks, hon. My condolences. I know what it's like to have a difficult grandmother. But I also know that if it hadn't been for her, we would probably be in a worse off place. Hugs to you and your family.

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  21. Thanks a bunch Marcia. And you are right, my grandmother's ways helped develop a very thick skin. I always told myself, if I survived her, then the rest of the world will be easy.

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  22. may her spirit rise up and greet the goddess...

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  23. I'm sorry for your loss. While death is a natural part of life, it doesn't make you miss your loved ones who have passed any less. You have a very healthy outlook on life.

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  24. I'm sorry for your loss, but it is wonderful that your grandmother was able to move on when she was ready.

    I prefer your view of death. It just seems healthier. Death is a natural step, sometimes it just is hard to let go, but we have to...

    I'll light a candle for her on my Samhain altar this year, too, if that's all right.

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  25. I'm sorry about your grandmother. I lost my great-grandmother recently, whom I was named after. She was in her mid-90s, and had advanced alzheimer’s, and was generally unhappy. When she passed away, the family was almost relieved, and now that she's moved on, we can remember her for her delicious food and general kind heart instead of worrying about her health and her forgetfullness.

    In the words of one of my best friends, "I don't want people to be sad at my funeral. I want them to leave laughing."

    I hope people understand your point of veiw soon, it doesn't make you so weird:)

    Many Blessings to you and your family<3

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  26. I'm very glad everybody feels the way I do. I knew I wasn't as strange--or maybe you guys are just as crazy as I am, which makes it all good.

    My family took my grandma to the Dominica Republic for the funeral and burial. I'm sure she will be happy in her homeland, but as funerals go, I doubt she cares much where her earthly remains are buried. However, it is important for her children, so all of them flew to the Caribbean yesterday.

    Special thanks to Lasher. I hope your candle and mine illuminate her journey to and from the Underworld on All Hallows Eve.

    ReplyDelete